Sally.....All I can do is empathize with you and send cyber hugs.
Right there with you on the "sick of living like this". Too much pain, too much isolation, not caring about much, not seeing family/grands, worrying about paying bills, keeping up with "house" stuff and for what purpose, complaining, etc., etc., etc.

Thank goodness we can come here to "socialize" with others who understand. My prayers are especially with you today, Sally.

is there a park district senior social place? Can you possibly get to a get together to play cards, or volunteer anywhere on your scooter? You seem to be able to transfer well from your scooter.
There's got to be some bus or something that can take you out somewhere...

This is the worst part of being ill...the isolation. I wish we lived closer-I'd bring over lunch and brownies (the regular kind) and we could play rummy or some other game.

I had a similar day yesterday. I went shopping with DD22 a couple of days ago. She needed to get new jeans and she really likes the fit and style of a.n.a. jeans at JCPenney as well as the price ($20 on sale). We looked at all sorts of things and had a great time together. Yesterday, I mourned the days of wearing pretty heels and normal shoes, the days when I could go in to the stores and not worry so much about the cost of items or size. I was a budget but it wasn't as tight as it is now. I mourned the days when I could shop at several different places in one day and not get so fatigued and worn out. By the time we were done with Penneys, my legs were done. I was a trooper though and went to Target with her but took the scooter.

I mourned the social interactions that we get when we are out working - spending the day with great people and learning and doing things with them all day. I mourned the feeling of a sense of accomplishment that comes at the end of a workday. While not all days were like that for me, most were and I really enjoyed working. It was hard to give it up but since I couldn't walk well at all and kept falling all over the place, it was a no brainer that I just couldn't work anymore in any capacity. Although, it was at that point that I started doing medical transcription from home but it is not the same as being out in the workforce.

I mourned friendships lost. Funny how when someone gets ill, people tend to back away from them. I have kept a few good and close friends and am thankful for them. They are my true friends. But, I still mourned the friendships and acquaintances that you have when you are out working.

I mourned the days when I could just hop out of bed like that girl on that commercial and get busy with my day. Taking a shower, doing my hair and make-up was a snap compared to now. I mourned not being able to just hop in my car and go where ever I wanted or needed to go without having to think things through. Driving was so easy just a few years ago (7 years to be exact).

It must have been something in the air yesterday Sally as these were a few of my thoughts from yesterday. The one thing that I did do was to keep telling myself to push forward as there is no other option and that ballet flats can be cute when paired with the right pants & shirts. I dried my tears on that one. j/k I really didn't cry over all of this, I just mourned.

I hope today is better for you, Sally.

Exactly ((((((Trish))))))

AKA the Full Moon Hangover .
This too will pass.

With love, Erika

I just want to wrap all of you up in a giant (not too hard) hug and makes things better. Inadequate words I know, but I do care & hope all gets better for y'all

Hug is a tiny bit better. My left leg is still heavier and stiffe than usual. I was on 2700 mg of neurontin(gabapentin) at one time. Now the 600 mg that I am taking (one at bedtime and one midmorning) is wiping me out. I don't know how I functioned on the 2700 I am assuming by body will get used to the dosage soon.

Barb - Glad the hug is starting to ease. I take 900 mg of gabapentin - 1 in the a.m. and 2 at night. That is the maximum amount I can tolerate. What I've learned since being on it, drink lots of water and take it after a high protein meal. It really helps with the grogginess. I learned that shortly after starting it and I haven't had that tired feeling since. Well, at least during the day. The 600 mg at night does make me tired but it's no big deal as I am going to bed.

MS symptoms are pretty settled for me today. I still have the eye issues going on, my usual hug and the fatigue but all in all doing well.

Sally, I really like your posts. You tell it like it is. Isn't it great to have a place where you can come to for b****ing, where everyone understands?

I'm on Tysabri, and it has slowed my tremors greatly and given me a little energy.

My legs are still weak, worse in the afternoon and bad in the evening, as are my arms. My balance is bad, but Monty has been a great help steadying me.

I am still wetting the bed, and it's happening more frequently. I'm ordering a plastic sheet because I bought a gel-foam mattress topper, and I don't want it ruined by urine. I also bought maximum absorbency Poise Pads for nighttime use.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Sometimes it's very difficult to get back up and keep on going with this cruddy disease.

Group hug.

Plastic sheets? I never heard of plastic sheets. They seem like they wouldn't be comfortable. I bought a fitted waterproof mattress pad by mistake once and not only did it slide all over, it made noise when I moved in my sleep. I had to get rid of it and get a regular one.

MS symptoms are ok today - slight hug, fatigue and muscle spasms in my right calf. My eye is STILL bothering me. This has been going on since the end of December. It varies some in both pain and the back and forth eye movements but it is a daily thing now. I see the neuro-ophthalmologist in a couple of weeks.