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I relate to each and every one of these posts. I have especially been longing to wear some cute high heeled or platform sandals this summer, and right now there is absolutely no chance that I would even try it...haven't been able to since last spring :-(
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I have to agree with everything said here. People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I so badly miss being a waitress.
I can't say I miss being able to do this pre-MS, because I have had MS all along for this part of my my life. But I truly ache when I think of the things my kids miss out on or have to do without me because of this disease. I know they will grow up with a greater compassion for other peoples struggles but they also GROW UP so much earlier than they should have to. |
My dog.
Two or three weeks after he died (evil <swear word> of a neighbor poisoned him), my right hip went numb. I had no idea what caused that until later that year when I got optic neuritis and they said "you might have MS". That dog always knew when I was sick and not feeling good, and would come up to my bed and stick his head over the side (he was a REALLY big dog. His name was TinyMonsters) and just check on me. I really miss that sometimes when I don't feel good. I always knew when he didn't feel good either. I pretty much went from a person who was healthy and was walking my dog around the block all the time to being the person I am now that feels like I'm drowning in MS-ish goo all around me all the time. |
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Dancing all night! Not having to plan everything exciting according to distance walked, energy expended and whether I will be inconveniencing anyone else.
I miss autonomy. Walking, dancing, running whenever I want, staying up late - like a normal grown-up and having a couple too many wines....knowing that when I stagger - or slur my words I earned it.....the usual way :D |
I miss being a hiker, fisherman, and an outdoorsman. Last time I was out in a boat I fell out, and I cannot get out to the shore of my sisters pond, which has excellent fishing.
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Working, but for a selfish reason. I miss having a hand in my income. I'm on disability and will forever be in the poverty range with no way to change that.
This may sound greedy, petty, materialistic. Whatever. Money doesn't buy happiness but it can make life more comfortable. |
Sparky, it's losing that sense of independence. Money gives us a sense of being in control, having the resources to do more in life. It is a sign of success in our culture, but it is also part of the satisfaction hierarchy. And it makes me sad that we feel this way, but it's normal. Kind of the way the elderly feel when more and more independence is taken away-we're getting an early peek:(
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Thanks Debbie! You worded it better than I could. :)
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i miss my nursing career and taking care of all the babies. nothing makes me smile quicker than seeing a baby and altho it was work it was my heart and soul.
the other thing i miss about my old life is not being in pain. what i wouldn't give to have just 1 day without pain. |
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