[DizzyLizzy]

So things haven't been going so great... I am now a divorced, 44 year old woman, living with her parents, got fired from my job on April 5th and my MS has been really acting up. I have gone from walking pretty good, to needing to use a cane most days and also had to get a mini scooter for the days I do not have the energy to do anything. I went in to see my Neurologist last week because of spasticity in my legs and hands. I am now taking Baclofen, Provigil and my Dr. in considering Ampyra. I have an MRI on Wednesday morning to see if I am in a flare or if my symptoms are because of degeneration. I have never been so depressed in my life. I feel helpless in looking for a job, because I don't even know what I can physically do anymore? My insurance is cut off on April 30th unless I pay $674 a month for cobra...which I have to do, but I have not received any unemployment benefits yet so I don't even know if I will get enough to pay for my current bills. I feel like I am stuck in a hole and not sure if I can climb out...this is all just a bit too much for me to deal with, especially now that I am alone. I have been 'dating' someone for some time now, however his drinking is taking over and I know that I cannot continue on with him...but I am so lonely that I find myself running to him even though I know its not good for me.

I just needed to vent...I'm feeling sorry for myself and don't know where to turn.

[NurseNancy]

amy,

i'm so sorry for all you're going thru. i really feel for you. at least you have your parents and bless them for offering you their help. i would just worry about your medical right now. for the present don't stress about a job. just follow thru with the mri and your neuro.

do you know how long the unemployment payment will take to reach you?
i was on cobra for 18 mos waiting for my ssdi to go thru so i know how expensive it is. try your best to pay it. even 1 mo will help.

i don't want to lecture you...but...please don't run to a man who will only present you with problems. you deserve more than that. rely on yourself and be your own best advocate in your medical and personal life.

take 1 problem at a time and formulate a plan A & even B. once you have a plan you will have control over your life. and once you have control you will have personal power.

please let us know how you are. you can do this.

[SallyC]

Aww Amy, so sorry for the sorrows in your life right now and of course
MS would raise it's ugly head, to only make things worse.

I am adding an extra prayer for you, to ask God to make things a little
easier for you, on your journey to heal, for both your heart and your
body.

I wish you the best, in your search for peace of mind and a nice job
that you can handle and make yours...

[ginnie]

I am glad you came here to vent. Most of us have those times that we just have to cut loose when things are hard. I do it too. Know that we will care about you here on Neuro Talk. I am sorry you are having such troubles at a young age. I know from experience how bad the finacial stuff can get you down. I hope that you get some kind of benefits, some kind of help. I live with a housemate, as I couldn't make it on my own either. Sure wish things could get better for you. ginnie

[EddieF]

"I know that I cannot continue on with him...but I am so lonely that I find myself running to him even though I know its not good for me"

If that's not a line from a good ol country song - sell it!

Amy..venting is 100% fine, hope my gesture gave ya a smile.
Bring your MRI home on cd (as i will tomorrow) and trust me, time will fly researching what you're looking at. You'll enjoy it. I do!

[Jules A]

I'm sorry you are going through this right now.

I hate MS.

[ewizabeth]

Just want to send you a big hug. Take it one step at a time and I agree with Judy that you should concentrate on the medical first, and maybe forget about the boyfriend if he isn't good for you.

[Natalie8]

Oh Amy, that just sounds awful, like the universe is dumping everything on you all at once. I can totally relate - I had one of those times all last year -- 2 very bad health events including a week hospital stay, severe marital problems, crazy step children involved in drugs and bad behavior, a relapse of clinical depression....

I promise you that everything will eventually get better. Not immediately but it will in the future. What goes down must come up -- it's how life works. You just have to ride it out with as much healthy support as you can find.

Also realize that it makes perfect sense that your MS is acting up. You have some of the highest stressors one can face -- a divorce, loss of job, a move to a new place (living with parents), chronic disease. Have you ever seen those charts that assign points to stressful events? You unfortunately are hitting the jackpot. When you make it through to the other side, I bet money your MS will get better.

Feel better. Take care of yourself. Look for helpful people in your life. Seek out positive support.

[EricP]

Originally Posted by amyblake

I'm feeling sorry for myself and don't know where to turn.

Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself, it's ok and what you are dealing with ATM is really really stressful so you're entitled to do so.

[Debbie D]

Sorry to hear you have new lesions despite Tysabri...
This disease has a mind of it's own, doesn't it?

Keep fighting, asking questions, try to find out new ways to fight this disease...and don't give up on yourself.