Hi guys,
I started having an episode last July for the first time that is now almost completely better. During the last months I had problems with fatigue, balance, nystagmus, headaches, nausea, severely stuttered speech, weakness/pain on my left side, sleep disturbance, and numbness and tingling. It got worse and worse for six months and then so so slowly started to get better. I am feeling so much better now, and am able to do things again, and projects, which is AWESOME! I still do not have an official diagnosis, and some doctors think I am somatiform.
My problem is, that while physically I'm doing worlds better, I am still dealing with the aftermath of what this has done to my self esteem, etc. I feel like I am still dealing with some depression and am stuck in emotional quicksand. I need to lose 50 pounds after all the stress eating and immobility, and am struggling to do that. I feel ALOT of guilt for what my kids and family have gone through and think these emotional issues are a stumbling block to moving forward, taking care of myself, losing weight etc.

What do you do to deal with the emotional effects of MS on your self esteem? How do you heal and get your spirit back? I am doing so much better, but I wonder if this experience has changed me permanately or if I will get back to where I was before physically, AND mentally.
Thank you, and good luck to you in your individual journeys!

Hi Batesmom.

It sounds like you are depressed: weight gain, low self-esteme, "emotional quicksand." Seek help. I recommend a psychiatrist who is a woman.

Here's why. Since you are not yet diagnosed and have already been thought to be "a somatiform" it will help to have that MD after her name in dealing w other MD's. They won't be able to brush you off. OTOH, if you are "somatiform" you will have your problems addressed.

I think a woman is less likely to buy in to the, "it's all in her head" theory.

Unfortunately, I have traveled this path. Many of us did, especially before MRI's were invented.

I wish you help, health and happiness and a strong advocate.
ANN

Yep, I agree with Ann. Get some help before you really lose all self esteem.
I went through the same thing and thought I was nuts and just couldn't "snap out of it".

Its an awful place to be.
Be your own advocate and move forward. Get some help with someone who you feel comfortable with and listens to you.

P.S. My mother was told for YEARS her issues were pretty much all in her head and what she had was Scleroderma.
Thank God she did not let them convince her she was mental.

I do feel that self-esteem can be regained, after an MS diagnosis. Physically, and mentally, it is possible to get that self back. Emotionally, yes, you can feel yourself, again; will you ever be the same, you ask?

To me, that's a loaded question/statement. There are things, we go through in life, that we'll be ourselves, but a shift in perspective on life's world views, does change. It's a period of growth, in many ways.

I agree, that working every angle of this illness, can be beneficial, that includes the psychological aspect of MS. Depression can be a part of the illness.