Maybe a helper Dog is a good idea for you (((Erin))):hug:

Erin, you didn't think you'd make it to Christmas, but you did, and I'm so glad for that! But, how would we have known if you hadn't? None of the people you mention that are close to you sound as if they'd bother telling us if you died. If you find yourself unable to post, (Heaven forbid you suddenly just stop posting) please know that there are many people here who really truly care what happens to you. :hug:

in answer to the helper dog. If I got one of those, my mother would assume it's a pet, and would think it's for her. Any training it had would be ruined by her within a few days probably.

I just got home from taking my dad to his cardiac rehab exercise. I didn't do any, and glad I didn't, because I'm wiped just from walking into the building, and then back out again. On the way home, I had to stop, and take my dad to the grocery store because we're going to be getting snow tomorrow.

Got home, and my crazy mother started yelling at us because we went to the store without her. My dad tried to get me to take her out to eat, and as much as I want to go out to eat. I don't think I can do it. Because I have to get my walker out of the back of the car to go inside. My mother never helps me. She has to use a walker too. But, she's a lot more mobile than I am.

This is really starting to affect me mentally, and emotionally. I have to deal with all my crap, and then I have my mom making everything worse by yelling at me because we didn't take her to buy a magazine. (dad bought her one. Giving her the magazine didn't stop her from yelling anyways)

I'm so bad now, that it's hard for me to take a shower. Mostly because I'm afraid I'm going to fall getting in and out. I know there are parts of me that are not getting washed very well either.

I had my AFO adjusted on Christmas eve, and it was ok for awhile, but in the last two days, the thing seems to be forcing my foot to point down. I keep tripping over it. It's apparently not helping anymore.

Might have "made it" till Christmas, but barely, and now I think I'll have problems getting to see my doctor on wednesday.

Hang in there kiddo. We're right here with you.:hug:

erin,

i have these Q's. are you on SSDI? could you move out, even into a studio or room in someone's house? anywhere to be on your own. sounds like you might have a lot less stress which might improve your physical/emotional health.

i know that's a big leap but just think about it for a minute.
it doesn't sound like anyone in your family (besides your dad) is helping you.

i hope i'm not insulting you but it is a thought meant to help you help yourself.

Not on SSDI, I have money that my dad has been giving me for a retirement account. Because of that, I can't get disability. They count it as me having money, even tho I can't touch that money until I "retire". (think I'm already "retired"). There isn't enough money there yet for me to live on anyways.

I can't move out. My parents are older. I'm currently their only means of transportation. My dad has vision problems, so we sold his car about two months ago.

Plus, if I leave, my mom will drive my dad nuts. We can't really leave her on her own much. She has a tendency to scream and yell at me and my dad. My dad and I tend to run interference for each other when she's going nuts. I kind of have to stay. Also, I've gotten kind of bad physically over the last year. I kind of need them too to help me with some stuff. I'm sort of stuck here.

still having a bad weekend.

I can barely move. My right leg just wants to drag. My dad talked me into not calling the doctor about it over the weekend. Calling them on monday. Altho if it's bad in the morning, I might call the neuro's weekend answering service.

My neuro always tells me to avoid the steroids, but this might be a time where they could be needed. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm quickly having more and more problems with this.

Oh, and tonight, I was on facebook. I noticed that someone had tagged exboyfriend. He apparently friended a new person, and she was at his house, cooking food with him. Taking pictures. I guess he's replaced me now. Which I can do nothing about, and really wouldn't want to do anything about. I'm glad he's probably got a new girlfriend. She looked nice. The one picture she posted of him, he looked happy.

I'm just feeling sad that I'm not healthy enough to have been the one cooking with him tonight instead. I really do blame the MS for everything right now. I don't blame exBF for dumping me because he probably didn't want to deal with me being sick all the time. I don't know if I'd have done the same thing if things were reversed. Maybe I'd have done the same thing. I don't know.

Stupid MS has made me miss out on everything. I don't even feel good enough to go to a movie. Right now I'm scared to take a shower because of how weak I feel.

And some of my online friends are all talking about meeting up at a convention in April. I would really really really love to go. I'm not going to be able to do that either. My dad said he would pay for me to go if I was up to it. I'm just not going to be up to it. I would really love to meet those online friends in real life so they could be Real Life friends.

Erin, I know it is so much easier to give advice rather then receive it because I really don't I would do in your cirmunstances. you, Erin, are not responsible for your parents. You are responsible for you. You mention your Dad had money. I am assuming he still does now. Around here the senior apartments are a pretty decent cost considering all they provide. A lot of them provide transportation to doctor's office, or any medical appointment like cardio rehab, a large common area that provides company and socialization and a very nice apartment. The ones here are studio all the way up to 2 bedroom. Wonderful grounds, all single level, nice lake and landscaping. Now there are some much less nicer apartment complexes just for the older folk. Some you buy, some you rent. My Mom paid about $1500/month but the only thing she had to pay for was her phone. 3 meals a day 365 days a year were prepared. Now hers was in a large home that had 52 apartments. But you need to think about finding a senior advocate to talk to. You need to have some one on your side so you can take care of yourself and gain strength. It could be that all the stress you are getting from the whole family situation is causing your body to help itself. If only your family believed your own MS situation you could call a family intervention to get some help for caring for your parents but it seems like they are just putting it all on your shoulders.

That's a really good suggestion Doydie.
We have assisted living complexes like what Doydie describes in my community. Checking out something along the lines of extended care living might just be the ticket to take some of the burden off for all of you Erin.

With love, Erika

Yes a great suggestion, but I don't think Erin is yet ready for that. She said
that she needs them as much as they need her right now. I think that the
Family intervention, of some kind, is a good idea and may work with some
Family cooperation.

I hope you can work something out, to relieve your stress.:hug: