Okay, I'm going to the doctor anyways, and I don't hold much to 'therapists' for certain things. But here's the situation:

I've been having panic attacks in cars. I'm okay if it's just running 2 miles down the road to the parents house, there's hardly any traffic, doesn't bother me. If we only pass one or two cars during the short trip. But coming into more traffic than that and I start freaking out.

I'm not driving because my vision started giving me issues earlier this year and I simply don't trust my eyes to operate a vehicle. But it also doesn't matter whose driving, mother, father, DH, SD, SIL.... I just can only just barely handle it, and last week I couldn't handle it at all. DH and I got stuck in stop and go traffic down in JAX and he had to stop. I was blanched white, cold sweat, and shaking terribly. Even though I had taken a Xanax.

Now we were in a terrible head on collision in '13. And afterwards at the intersection of where the accident occurred I would flinch and was a bit weary of Chevy trucks. But then last year I was in my first accident, someone pulled through a stop sign while my car was pretty much in front of them, it was a minor accident, sore neck from exasperated whip lash from the accident before. But was starting to increase my unease in a vehicle. A few months later my uncle was taken out by a drunk driver and my aunt is left with various issues as his passenger. Between that and the eyes getting worse, those little flinches and near misses have just heighten my fear of being inside a vehicle.

Now I have mostly overcome my aquaphobia, sure I got trapped underwater, needed to be resuscitated, it was traumatic, I can still remember the sensation of drowning, the burning of the lungs, coughing out the last of the air, the muffled shriek of my sister who discovered my distress... But hey, live and learn for the most part.

I've also done well with my fear of snakes, a rather silly trauma when I look back on it, but all the same, living in SE GA, they're everywhere. They're in the woods, in the yard and occasionally even in the house. Some are poisonous, some are poisonous and vicious, some are simply little garden snakes. Either way you have to learn to live with them and can't wreck your car because there was a snake in the road sunning itself.

If I need to deal with my fears to enjoy my life, I can and I do. Sometimes better than others, but I can do it. Though I won't hesitate to scream for my DH if he's home and there's a snake on the doorstep. If he's not home I might call animal control for a dangerous one, otherwise I do my best to shoo it away.

But cars.... I just can't seem to get over it. It's only getting progressively worse each time I'm in a vehicle. I can rationalize where the fear comes from, though that doesn't particularly help since it's not like people aren't seriously injured and killed in accidents nearly every second of the day.

Drowning I learned to swim. Snakes I learned to tell the difference. Cars.... I can't very well avoid the idiots. The risk is not simply imagined but very real and proven several times over.

However it's not like 'me'. A slight increase in heart rate because someone cut across the front bumper and slammed on their breaks is one thing, hyperventilating because there's another car on the road.... That's something else entirely.

So is it life's experiences catching up to me? Or is it MS interfering with my 'rational' self? I'm hopeful that once I know, then I can talk myself down, right now it's not working since I can't completely comprehend the reason behind my fear.

In your case and in my opinion, I think it's a combination of traumatic events and MS. I can't drive very far not only due to weakness and fatigue but cognitive issues. I can't handle everything coming at all at once. It's really unsettling. That is an MS thing. I can take some back roads to Trader Joe's but put me in traffic and I just can't focus enough to keep on top of things. I have not driven since January as things have been worse.

For some, MS does effect (or is it affect ) our ability to cope. It's like our coping mechanism got switched off or altered in some way. I don't know if it's due to lesions and their locations or fatigue. The more fatigued we get, the worse these cognitive issues exacerbate.

Since it is impacting your life so much, I would discuss it with your neuro or even PCP and take it from there.

Hang in there and know that you are a strong woman and have overcome many, many obstacles. You can overcome this, or at least learn to deal with it effectively and rationally.

Well, my unprofessional guess is life experiences are catching up with you

Fear.

One small word with so much attached to it. Fear can be caused by feeling out of control or not having control over situations or life in general. This can affect if we drive, socialize, work or even leave the house.

With the help of a Mental Health Professional it is possible to gain more control and not be so fearful.

Take care, Starznight

dear starz,

i can comprehend the reasons for your fears just by reading your wonderful and insightful post. please print it out and take it with you when you see either your pcp, neuro or therapist. i personally gravitate towards the therapist, a good psy.d cognitive therapist.

and i personally will be sure to never move to GA!

you have been thru so much. be gentle with yourself. let us know how you are.

Thank you guys. I'm definitely going to bring this with me to discuss with my PCP. Hoping she might have some light to shed on the issue. I'm pretty good at dealing with life's curveballs, but a bad experience with a few therapists when I was a kid, kinda raises my hackles when thinking of going to one.

I'm sure part of that can be chalked up to the MS as I was likely suffering from symptoms when I was a child and was for the most part treated like a hypochondriac. So when the doctor started being unable to explain away pains and illness, it was off to the shrinks who questioned in depth if my parents were abusive, trying to trip me into saying they were.

When that didn't work they switched tactics to accusing me of self-mutilation, trying anything they could think of for me to blame like bullies at school (laughable since I was more likely to be accused of bullying rather than the other way around), sexual molestation was a particular favorite theory of one shrink and for a child who had not been molested, his line of questioning was quite creepy and a bit disturbing to my twelve year old self.

I got kicked out of most of the offices for being "uncooperative". And can only be thankful I was never placed in foster care, especially by the one shrink who leaned quite heavily on the abuse button. I have never like to be touched, never had the "hug" reflex I guess you could call the skinship many people seem to have. But that was present in infancy, remarked upon by the nurses my first day in he hospital.

I know the therapists I saw were in all likelihood total quacks. Just like I know therapists have provided much needed services to many people. But for me, it'll be an absolute last resort. If the PCP and neuro can't figure out what the trigger is and I still can't figure it out myself, and it gets much worse....then....maybe I'll see a therapist, and hopefully won't get another "uncooperative" file

Don't give up. There are bad, mediocre and great psychologists. Sounds like you're a good candidate for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Find a skilled clinician, if you dislike her, try another one. A good psychologist is worth her weight in gold!

Conversely, you can order a self help workbook by Michelle Kraske and David Barlow, I think, on Panic Attacks. They may even have one for people who had been in auto accidents. Try Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Your-A.../dp/0195311353

So sorry to read that you're dealing with all of this...I agree that it could be a combination of life events and MS making it difficult to deal with the anxiety.

I had seen several therapists before going to a cognitive behavioral therapist. Best thing I ever did for myself-gave me tools to deal with situations, rather than hashing over what had occurred in my past.

Hope you can also get some help medically for the anxiety. I know that being in a car accident can make being in a vehicle challenging at best...I still flinch every time someone turns right next to me, as I was hit by a right turner who veered into my lane-and my rear fender.

Let us know how you're doing