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Old 05-09-2019, 01:27 PM   #1
sougata mukherjee
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i am apologising in advance for this lengthy post but please read it till the end.
hello everyone!! i am a 24 year old male and for the past one and a half year,i developed some symptoms that point towards neurodegeneration..now i have insomnia that has become quite severe and is affecting my life quite seriously
I started my undergraduate course in college 6 years ago..in high school, i used to have insomnia but that was not at all a serious issue..it would last hardly for 1 week and would reappear after 3 or 4 months..but sleeping was never a matter of concern for me which is now the case
as bed time approaches, i feel severe panic and palpitations..it has become the hardest job for me at present which i had never imagined earlier in my life..in childhood , sleeping was just like magic..i had to close my eyes only for an instant and the next moment would be morning..but sleeping has become increasingly difficult for me since the past few months and i feel that i can never sleep again..as if my brain will never shut down..i am quite ashamed to confess that i got addicted to excess PMO since college days and also changed my lifestyle in a negative manner..i used to stay awake at night for studying, then having little or no sleep and leaving for college early in morning..this continued till i completed my postgraduate course..so my routine, my sleeping habits all became irregular and also i neglected my diet due to busy schedule..since then i started fewling weak,observed changes in my body and i understand,that all my body cycles,bio clock all of these have been severely affected and changed and i have forcefully inflicted those changes..i have prevented my body from functioning in the normal healthy manner in which it was programmed..i read that these changes and lack of sleep could cause accumulation of proteins in the brain that kill neurons and cause dementia..i fear that i have introduced some drastic changes in my body due to my actions and now paying the price for it..one and a half year ago, i observed strange changes in my cognitive skills..i started forgetting spellings of pretty ordinary common english words which were all known to me and quite trivial to me since childhood and it was pretty odd for me to forget them all one by one..then i faced pblms in doing maths exercises..i was initially quite intelligent but saw a steady decline in my mental skills..my thinking abilities,puzzle solving skills,planning,decision making abilities all started diminishing away..not only that simple things which were in my memory since childhood seemed so new or unusual to me as if i never remembered them..doing calculations or pblms which were a child's play to me now seem so difficult..not only that my memory has degraded..i cannot learn or memorize new things no matter how simple they are..whenever a puzzle is given to me, my brain just cannot coordinate between the info that is given and what i already know..i have become extremely dumb..i make mistakes while doing simple everyday calculations, i get confused very easily over trivial cases..i feel that my brain has degenerated.. i face pblms in distinguishing new faces or between voices of singers..because i cannot remember new things that i see,hear or learn..i cannot recognize my own self!how i have changed and how i was 6 years ago!!
I have read that excess PMO can disrupt all the neural cycles , cause severe imbalance of neurochemicals inside the brain and cause insomnia..they can create toxic environments inside the brain by depleting essential neurotransmitters which could kill nerve cells!!!! it causes change in the brain functions drastically..excess dopamine can cause violence ,anger, and wakefulness..i have become extremely short tempered and get angry quite easily..the internet says it is due to frontal lobe damage..but for me ,at present,insomnia is the major pblm..
On the net i read that accumulation of proteins could cause degeneration of thalamus or any other brain area..if this occurs inside the thalamus,it causes fatal insomnia and if it occurs in temporal lobe,it causes dementia..moreover the actual reason why these diseases occur is that the protein accumulation causes death of nerve cells..but i would like to point out that ithe human brain is nothing sort of a complex machine and scientists have not fully understood it's functions..what activity or change leads to what outcomes are still not well known..no one in my family had fatal insomnia..but for anything dangerous to happen, the nerve cells have to die by some means,whether due to proteins or other factors..as if created unhealthy environment inside my brain due to my poor lifestyle, i wonder it did the job of killing neurons,which is done by those proteins in brain diseases i mentioned earlier..and the ultimate outcome could be the same!! may be i am heading towards a tragic fate!!!
my insomnia became noticeable in july 2018..i do not have any more dynamism in my life as college is over and i do not exercise or go to gym..most of the time i spend my time in front of tv or mobile ..Since december 2018, i used to take 0.125 mg alprazolam for sleeping( doctor recommended)..this had worked till early april,i.e for 4 months,it worked pretry well..on very few days,i had pblms falling asleep but on most nights,i slept for 7-- 8 hours..But,without alprazolam, things were not easy to handle..i felt tired and sleepy but could not sleep..there was a deep rooted feeling that i cannot sleep..that inbuilt mechanism is spoiled..i have lost the ability to sleep..but i never experienced significant jerks while trying to sleep..without alprazolam,it would be very difficult for me to fall asleep..i used to be overconscious of the fact that i was trying to sleep and ended up in not getting sleep..i had Cbc test done and it revealed folate deficiencies..BUT,now the pblm is a bit worse..earlier i never had palpitations or suffocations and alpeazolam calmed down my nerves easily..
but i am currently going through a horrible nightmare .as i told u till early april that my sleeping patterns improved slightly but i was more concerned about other health pblms.(not related to sleep or mental health).throughout the day i was concerned about my health and was extremely anxious..at night , those thoughts used to run inside my mind and did not let me relax..but i still managed to sleep though it was not of good quality that i had previously on taking alprazolam..and i understood it was largely due to my worries on other health related pblms..but i stopped taking anti anxiety tablets..17 days ago, i went to a doctor for acute pain in the stomach and he learnt in details about my entire case history,my lifestyle how unhealthy it was, having sleeping pblms and worrying too much..he suspected that i was heading towards a mental disease due to my tension and stress and as i already had sleeping problems, so he prescribed a medicine called tradazone hydrochloride 50 mg
.on the net,i came to know that it was a sedative..so after the doctor prescribed it, i took it one night just before having dinner..then 20 minutes later, i took my dinner..suddenly as i was having dinner, i felt a very strange sensation inside me..i felt that i was going to faint,there was no coordination between my mind and body muscles,like throat muscles,even eating and drinking had to be done with some effort as if there was no muscular coordination..i felt very restless as if something got inside me..suddenly my heart beat jumped to 140 beats per minute and it was beating ao fast that it seemed as if it was going to come out..my head started going in cycles , i had palpitations,breathlessness and felt that i was losing control of my body ..i could not sit quietly because of the turmoil going on inside my body..again movement inside the mouth and oesophagus seemed disoriented or as if they were getting choked and my heart would stop breathing..i could not understand why it happened..i felt like vomitting out the medicine..these effects lasted for around 7 or 8 hours till in the morning..i could hardly sleep for 2 hours that night..next morning,the doctor told me that it was a sleeping pill and asked me to discontinue it..but even before that night i took the pill,for some days before that, i had been feeling strange restlessness,breathlessness and palpitations and pressure in the head as if i would be suffocated..these things used to happen even before i took tradazone and these happened only during sleeping time not during the day..i could not sleep because the moment i used to go to sleep,i would wake up in the transition phase with my heart almost bursting out of my chest due to its extremely rapid beating and the palpitations and immense sweating that i had..even after i stopped taking tradazone,these effects continučd and some more appeared..i decided to go back to alprazolam to sleep properly to reduce these effects,which i thought were due to panic and anxiety ..but the MOST STRANGE AND UNEXPLAINED part is that this time alprazolam also produced similar effect as trazadone
.i could not sleep despite feeling sleepy and tired,my brain just cannot shut down and i feel as if that mechanism has been ruined..as i took alprazolam,i woke up in the middle of night and found myself exactly in the same situation in which i had been held on the other night when i took tradazone..and could not sleep without vomiting out the medicine..i was feeling suffocated..i don't know why it is happening because these tablets are supposed to produce effects contrary to what they are producing..i don't know exactly what is the situation inside my brain that is producing such bizarre scenarios and such terrifying reactions to these mild anti anxiety pills which i have been taking for such a long time..now i cannot sleep ..i have poor quality sleep for around 5 hours each night and that also half awake half asleep..specially during the night,i feel loss of neuro muscular coordination,suffocation ,palpitations and just cannot relax..and now i cannot have quality sleep because i can no more take alprazolam or any sleeping aid because it will add fuel to the fire
Due to lack of sleep ,my cognitive skills have been badly affected,i get confused very easily over simple things,cannot think at all,my mind is paralysed,am forgetting all known things one by one,cannot plan or think like a normal human being..and feels like someday i might forget who i am..i feel difficulty in recognizing or remembering voices or faces of people..my memory has degraded a lot..cannot remember anything new..and i seriously think some sort of neurodegenerative diseases has affected me..one more point to say is that over the past 2 weeks, i find that while i try to sleep whether during night or day,as i close my eyes and enter transition phase, suddenly my whole body experiences involuntary jerks and i wake up immediately..i do not whether this is due to brain damage or severe imbalance of neurochemicals due to overmasturbation but i am extremely scared..these involuntary jerks are happening every night and suring afternoon sleep and prevent me from sleeping..last night, i only slept for around 3 hours and now, i am feeling literally broken down..i cannot pursue my daily activities..i had already mentioned about a disease calle fatal insomnia ..i think i might have got it though it is uncommonly rare..it could be due to loss of neurons or damage to tissues in the brain or tumors but i do think there is a serious underlying*cause behind it..plusi sweat a lot and suffer from constipation and one thing i have observed is that whenever these muscular jerks occur at night, i feel feverish and cold..which suggests it could be due to damage to the thalamus or other degenerative changes in other parts of the brain..
even last night, i felt suffocated and woke up due to these muscle jerks and could sleep only in early dawn..however i did not think it was deep sleep but in the morning my parents had come to my room to do some work they were talking over there but i was never aware of these things..i came to know about this much later after i woke up.But, my sleep is never complete and i feel that i can never sleep that well that deeply which i once used to ..that ability is gone and will never come back and i am extremely upset to understand this fact..no matter how much tired or sleepy i feel,i cannot fall into sound sleep which i used to do earlier..my cognitive skills are being affected..also one thing i must mention is that because anti anxiety medicines have produced contrary effects,i could not stop thinking about sporadic fatal insomnia
.because these medicines calm down the nerves but i think that in my case there is no scope of such action because the nerves are gone..instead , these medicines are relying false messeges,which causes palpitations and suffocation..i feel pressure and heaviness inside my head .along with pain and difficulty in muscular coordination ..while walking i feel as if my head going in circles and may fall down...BUT ,so far i never had any pblm or failure in moving any part of my body or eating or drinking,etc...i am scared of mutant proteins being piled up inside my brain
I MUST MENTION THAT ANXIETY IS NOT THE REASON WHY I CANNOT SLEEP BUT, SLEEPLESSNESS IN TURN IS CAUSING ANXIETY,WEAKNESS,DEPRESSION.. while i take alprazolam now and relax,i feel weak sleepy but again at the same time,feel as if my body has become stiff,still ,and feel turmoil inside
i wonder that someday ,the centres for various muscles in my brain including heart muscle will stop or i am going to faint or collapse..This kind of situation has never happened with me before and i do not know what is wrong..Also note that when i take alprazolam,immediately i do not feel any change..in the middle of night,i feel sleepy and as if some greater force is teying to force me to put me into sleep and controlling my body,or moving becomes difficult..i feel so weak and then have symptoms like rapid heart beat and palpitations..i feel as if i will not be able to move my limbs,i am going to collapse and try to force myself to stay away from that..and simultaneously exoerience palpitations or breathlessness.

has anyone ever experienced these symptoms or heard of anyone having them?can anyone shed light on what might be wrong with me?? couod it be SFI or brain tumor or brain tissue degeneration??of course i shall see a neurologist as soon as possible but i beg for some advice here.

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Old 05-09-2019, 11:07 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by sougata mukherjee View Post
couod it be SFI
If by SFI you mean Sporadic Fatal Insomnia, I think that this is a remotely unlikely possibility.

Fewer than 30 cases of it world-wide have been reported in the medical literature.
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Old 05-10-2019, 10:32 AM   #3
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Hello sougata Mukherjee.

Many with Multiple Sclerosis have vision problems and cannot read large blocks of type/text. For this reason I was only able to skim your post.

You have had minimal testing done to determine what is or isn't wrong with your health. Anxiety/stress can cause a multitude of physical symptoms. I would suggest you see a Mental Health professional, a Psychiatrist for medication(s) and a Psychotherapist for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT).

I would also recommend a complete Physical with you Primary Care Physician(PCP). Your PCP can order testing and/or refer you to the appropriate specialist...if needed

Self diagnosing will not be helpful for you and can be counter productive. Obsessing over what you are experiencing is also not helpful.
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Old 05-13-2019, 11:33 AM   #4
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sougata mukherjee, I am sorry that you have been suffering so much. However, I am another person who found it difficult to read your post and so I can't say that I've read it thoroughly.

But it looks as if you've been trying out too many different medicines, and I wonder about your diet. Many neurological problems are due to a deficiency or an excess of some important element in the person's diet.

I agree with Snoopy that you need to present your primary care doctor with your history. The medicines you've been taking as well as your diet should be carefully evaluated.

As for the insomnia, there are many ways of dealing with it that do not involve taking any pills. Your doctor can probably make some good suggestions.
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:35 PM   #5
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Like everyone else a bit difficult to make out all of your post... though that you do not exercise and spend most of your time in front of the tv or on your phone, one of my first suggestions would be to disconnect and go for a nice walk. Not saying it will cure it but that would be the very thing I would try.

I also noticed you didn’t mention your caffeine intake... as I’m sure you’re aware caffeine can cause insomnia and palpitations and feelings of anxiety etc... smoking or nicotine use can also cause the same symptoms, as can suddenly stopping them. So if you were a kick back 10 Red Bull’s a day while starting college and decided wait these are bad for me and dropped to zero the next day that could be causing some issues.

And I also agree the fatalities from insomnia are EXTREMELY rare. And this comes from a life long chronic sufferer of insomnia who once went over a month on less than 8 hours of sleep (total for the whole month plus about 3 days could have been 6 things were a little fuzzy at that point). But still alive and kicking .

But before jumping to pills, consider lifestyle changes, light exercise, balanced diet, get your sunlight exposure at least 15 mins a day, 30 is better, and stay hydrated. If you drink a lot of caffeine slowly cut it back like 1 less caffeinated drink every couple of days to avoid headaches and additional stress, same if you’re a smoker or a vaper, slowly cut back. And if you’ve never sought the energy boost of a caffeinated swallow, maybe trying drinking a cup of tea. (Sounds strange but I find for me sometimes drinking a so called energy drink is the quickest way to send me off to dreamland.)

Wouldn’t even jump to assumption of brain tumor or degeneration just as going without sleep does cause anxiety, forgetfulness, palpitations, tremors and vision problems. And stress increases insomnia symptoms, which never helps when you’re stressing about your insomnia, guaranteed way not to sleep is stressing about not being able to.

As to suffering from nightmares, if they are completely making it impossible to sleep and increasing your anxiety about sleeping because of fear of closing your eyes, IF the lifestyle changes mentioned above do not help to resolve it, seek out a mental health professional, as they could be night terrors which is a completely different beast than a nightmare.

Most importantly, don’t stress, the body can go a very long time on very little sleep. And if it really makes you feel better, I’m sure your doctor wouldn’t mind putting your mind at ease if necessary by giving you and MRI or CT scan.

Though honestly your best bet is to get off the internet diagnosing, take a stroll under the sun around the block, and make sure your diet is balanced with veggies and fruits, meats and grains, and dairy too, and get your 8 glasses of water in you a day. Even if you have to start with baby steps to work around to that. And sometimes understanding that you will still occasionally go without sleep and that is A-ok.
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