I have no answers. But will be thinking of your brother and hoping for relief.

Dear Judy--I don't know why but before I even read your first reply I clicked you onto my friends list; it was just an immediate response. (I am still not sure of the terminology on this site). But I bet you know what I mean! I will try to remember all your quesgtions. I am 56 years old. My brother 52. I have been in severe pain since I was 18 years old but for a good while it was episodic--laying me low for about a month - six weeks. Had a discectomy in 1991, got pregnant in '92, and did not suffer with any back pain during pregnancy or labor. But just before my son turned a year old, the pain came roaring back like I had never experienced it. One doctor saw the horrible condition I was in and wrote pain meds for me (Tylox 5/500) for about a month. Then she told me I was a drug addict and wouldn't write more. Finally they had me see bunch of doctors who all agreed: From the surgery, the bones had rubbed together and eroded, thus slipping into spinal nerves. There is an official name for this but I only know it as failed back syndrome. It is chronic and deterioration continues. Then several specialists agreed: I would be in pain forever, a spinal fusion wouldn't work 75% of the time, and it might make the pain worse. One told me just take meds until you are ready to shoot yourself. So no more surgery for me (except to remove the tumor.) I still have post traumatic stress syndrome from the surgery and its aftermath. Too long a story to go into. Seven months after tumor surgery I was erroneously diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. I went through two months believing this and not telling anyone since the doctors hadn't done a bronchoscopy and I asked, "What do I tell my family?" My doc said, "Nothing, because you don't actually know anything yet for sure" so I went through what I thought was my last Thanksgiving and Christmas with all this alone. My husband beat me last Sept. 25, then abandoned me and my son. There is no getting rid of him. I cannot afford to hire a lawyer, can hardly make the billes but my son went into such a tailspin, our home is the only thing that holds him together and he says he loves is and wants to live in it with his own family. So I go through hell trying to pay the bills on a crappy salary. I am desperately afraid I will lose my job or have to go on disability, and then we will lose everything. I am finding it harder and harder to do the job well and keep making dumb mistakes that turn into big problems. Again a long story. Well, enough of that. My brother can still walk and drive a car. He is blind in one eye from optic neuritis. (This event is what led to his MS diagnosis in 1995.) Actually, I am not sure he should be driving; he tends to veer to the center of the road probably because of his blindness so I cannot count on him any more to help me with my son. I am still in deep depression and anxiety over what my husband did to us; thirty four years together as best friends and lovers and all roles in between. You would think he would have left sooner. I still don't know why. But he is a pitbull now, and the latest is his going after my dining room furniture. He paid the bill but I paid him back in various ways. So he is going to take me to court if I don't let him take it. I don't know much about what he can do to me. He stole 6 months worth of SSDI checks from my son (yes the whole family is disabled in one way or another except for my darline young son). He is giving us no child support. He even stole the family china when he moved out. He says he wants me out on the streets with nothing. I don't know why. I never did anything but treat him like a king and do everything he wanted. I spent all of my money because he is diabetic and had no life insurance so I told him to hold on to his retirement money so if he passed, we would not be out in the cold. Wel... here we are. My brother has two children who are in college. He is paying 400.00 in child support from a total of 1712.00 and he has no other income. He is just too sick to work. His wife divorced him because she couldn't take the MS. She also took most of his money too and bought herself a nice house, and left him homeless. Ah well. I hope I answered what you wanted to know. I know I went far afield of what you asked--telling you more. Hang in thre Judy. They are coming up with new things every day, and I pray you will drive again soon. I know a man without legs who had the car modified so he could operate everything with his hands. He does quite well and drives all over the place. But I suppose you know about that. I hope something lovely happens to you today, and I am glad your children are close to you and your friends help. I have no friends because my husband, my son, and my job sapped every bit of energy I had. I simply wanted to go to bed once I got everyone fed. Now my son has turned away from me--partly age partly I guess he is angry about his father and blames me. Dad claims that Mom started it and punched him. HAH! I cannot even open a door to a building. I can hardly walk. I have no feeling in my right leg or hand, I never hit anyone in my life, I am 5' 8" and weigh 110 pounds and he is 6'2" and weighs over 200 and he had to defend himself from me????? Even if I hit him, which I didn't, he could have just thrown me off of him, and left the house. Whew. Well you pretty much have the story of my life. And a big chunk of my brothers. I go to a pain clinic now which has most of my pain under control for a lot of the time. But the pain is always there--especially the pain from the tumor surgery. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me. I hope I didn't bore you or get off the track to much. If I didn't answer your questions, just write back. I hope this will be a good day for you.

Pat