I used to love Christmas, favorite time of the year for the religous and secular parts. But lately it's been one of the worst. My husband and I have been blessed with a compfortable income. It's not enough to take trips, buy things we don't need or any of that. But we are almost completely out of debt and the future looks good. My brothers and sister and especially my kids are not that blessed.

I have always enjoyed giving evereyone Chritsmas presents. My limit has always ben in the $30.00 range for siblings. I know that doesn't seem to be a lot for some people but in my family it was. And I guess it was to much because 2 of the siblings requested that we draw couple names, everyone give to Mom and the kids. I didn't like that because I think it gives the kids the wrong value of christmas. But we have done it now for about 5 years.

One of the siblings whose idea it was to just draw names usually doesn't give any gift at Christmas and doesn't come. So the name they draw comes up without a gift. The rest of us realize it and usually come up with a plan for a gift as replacement. Now this person is suggesting we take the money we would give as a gift and donate it to a charity, give gifts to all the kids and give couples a gag gift.

Another thing here is that my husband doesn't give me any gift. He doesn't give a gift for Mothers Day, Anniversary, birthday or Christmas. My kids can't harldy afford anyhting. So I look forward to that one gift. I know I shouldn't be depressed over this. It's Christmas, the birth of my Saviour. But this gift giver likes to recieve once in a while!

Christmas is always at my house cause it's the biggest. Our children now do the cooking but still I am the hostess and you want your house to be nice. We all can't afford to rent a place nor would it be convenient to do. I'm OK now. I guess I just had to vent. Thanks.

I understand about the limiting Christmas gifts to reduce costs. I come from a large family and we have given up on giving gifts to anyone over 18. It just got too expensive.

That being said, my DFiance just hates shopping. He asks me what I want every year and then says he couldn't find it. I shop for his kids and him and that's it. I send out cards to everyone else. If I get one present at Christmas I am in heaven. I have always loved Christmas, loved to decorate the house and cook, but lately I just don't care. It's like no one notices or cares. This year we were informed that the darling stepdaughter wasn't coming home for Christmas. So it will just be him and I. It's looking like leftovers in front of the TV for me. No tree up yet, no decorations, no presents. I'm going to midnight Christmas Eve service and that's it.

I wish I was a kid again, when it still had the magic.

I don't have a tree up either. I did finally dig out my Christmas Village and put some of it together but I just am not in the spirit this year. I didn't send out cards either.... no money makes for a blah christmas season.

This will seem long-winded, but humor me. The other night, I put my parents' home movies (8mm) onto DVD and my dad and I watched them. We noticed how with their first child, everything was a major event and how they did strange things, like run as if they too were toddlers. They played in the snow, gave him baths together, filmed nauseatingly long segments of him sleeping, a major bash for his first birthday, etc. #2 came along, he got brought home, got baptized, joined in a couple family trips. #3 got born and brought home, #4 just showed up one day as a two-yr-old, #5 showed up for two minutes of rolling over, and # 6, apparently fell out of the sky and just stayed around to appear much later in still shots.

So, where I'm headed with all this is, that, as time marches on, I honestly believe that our unbridled enthusiasm for most things just tends to wane toward the more comfortable. I'd hardly call it a failing or a loss to not feel like making a big ordeal out of a holiday that is focused on children.

That said, I am inwardly more enthusiastic about Christmas from a faith perspective than anything else. I have no kids so that angle has never driven my Christmas spirit. For me, time has mellowed my sense of what is important, the same way that I grew out of bar nights and all-nighters after college.

Don't be too hard on yourselves, it's really a natural course to mellow with time. Enjoy a glass of wine out in the open, it's legal for us adults!

memories are the best christmas gifts.

i have done things like copy my greatgrandmother's and grandmothers recipes to give to my girls.

last christmas i even made a photo album for my x husband with all the copies of pictures i had of our kids, his family or with him in them. i didn't even spit on it before giving it to him. aren't you proud of me?

doydie, we stopped doing adult gifts years ago. we donate to to a charity. i will tell ya...my in-laws were NOT happy about this.

i'm in the same boat...hubby didn't buy me a birthday/anniversary gift ( got married on my birthday) or christmas gift last last year. it will be the same this year. he doesn't take the kids shopping for mother day gift either. yeppers hon...the givers in the family aren't on the recieving end very often.

It's going to be an interesting Christmas around here this year for a lot of reasons. I just can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything.

I watched Polar Express the other night and like the movie...I can't seem to find the spirit this year. Either in the spiritual sense or emotional or any other way. I seem to be watching things happening around me as if I am not here. Detached.

What excites me most right now is spending the day, either Monday or Tuesday, making Gingerbread houses with my neighbor's two kids. They are 10 and 6, a boy and a girl. I am really looking forward to that!

I've done a little bit of shopping (online!), but no decorations, no tree, no cards. I still have my fall wreaths on my front door. I usually make wreaths for my front door (we have double front doors so I have two to make) and I want to, but just don't seem to be motivated.

Maybe it's because right now MS is kicking my butt.

I am planning to fly to Oklahoma to visit my sister and mom, but with the weather there? Who knows if I will even get there. My mom's health is bad. My sister has been running a FEMA emergency crew since the ice storms hit and is now tasked with another one due to the snow storms. She could use my help but not sure I can get there. I will try. It will give me something to do, something that will make a difference. I can help with the emergency crews and give her some relief! That makes me feel good. I can also cook...something I am very good at! She likes that!

My family doesn't know I have MS, I guess I should say that my mom and brother in OK don't. My sister does. She has enough medical training as an EMT that she figured out that something was wrong so I told her. But no one else does.

Curious --- no spit!!! I am proud of you! A few years ago, we all put together a DVD of pictures and videos of my dad. It is great!

As for Christmas? I am making my own inner peace this year, with the help of some very good friends.

Wow, is there something in our drugs that we are down this year?

I hate to admit this now since I was the one to start this pity party. I wrote out a list, most expensive on down and gave it to my husband. I even admitted that it was a very varied expense list but that anything would be nice. I also told my youngest dauhter, she lives in town. When my hubbie got home from work I gave it to him. He didn't make much comment. But my daughter called and said she was out shopping and would look at some things I had on the list.

So she called and told her Dad to get his butt in the car and meet her at Kohls. This is one of my favorite places to shop for anything but clothes. About 90 minutes later she calls and says that they are done and not only did he have 2 Christmas presents but she got him to buy me a Birthday present which is in March!!!!!! She said she was keeping the receipt so I wouldn't know how much. As soon as she hung up I pulled up my online banking to look to see how much was charged on the debit card. My husband who can't hardly stand to spend $10 on costume jewelry spent $263.00 on me. I wish I knew what my daughter told him. I guess i owe her now!

Great, Doydie. My DH always got me a special Christmas present or two. One year it was Diamond stud earrings..wow.

On his last Christmas, he got me a beautiful soft robe. I keep it handy and often wrap it around me, when I am missing him.

Wow, Doydie! That sounds like a small miracle to me. So, is there a shiny new KitchenAide with all the extra parts in your future???

Doydie,

I can relate to your being down for the Christmas season but I firmly believe that the season is what we make of it. If you want to give gifts to people, go ahead. Most of the fun is in the giving anyway. Heck! Ask your husband for just one thing this year and tell him you really want it.

Don't worry about your siblings. When you get to a certain age our siblings don't have the influence they used to. I would stop paying attention to the one sibling who wants you all to do what they don't do themselves. You know if they don't buy a simple gift they're NOT going to give money to a charity.

I try each year to make the most of the season. It's the reason I start growing a beard and long hair for the eight months prior to Christmas. I love to see the look on children's faces in the grocery store when they see me. They just light up and tell their parents, "Mommy, there's Santa!" What a great feeling that gives me to spend some time with them and talk. They will remember our encounter for the rest of their lives.

So this year, DECIDE to enjoy the season. You do have some control over how you act and react to any situation. Exercise your power and work on getting into the spirit. I know you can do it!