This may just be temporary, but I had to change it. That photo of me, even though taken only 8 years ago, just isn't me anymore. Everything has changed about me, since that was taken and it makes me cry to look at it now.

You can't see it, but my one year old and 8 yr old granddaughters (now 9 and 16 yr olds) are sitting on my lap. I was also about 30 lbs thinner and looked at least 10yrs, younger.

Since my DH passed away 4 yrs ago, this Month, I seem to have let go of that sexy old Mama and become a not so sexy old Grandmama.. I laugh at myself through my tears, as it is sooooo hard to accept.

I think I know where you are, Cindy, although not the same and yet, we are both grappling to find and accept the persons we are now. I want to do that, too, but it's hard without my DH here to share the changes and grow old together. Who am I, without him?

One day when I get the guts, I will have DD take a photo of me as I am now and post it.....if I ever accept that it is actually me now. Who am I? Why am I still here?

So, anyway, the Avatar says it for now. I am a blond/gray haired blue/green eyed Aquarian.