My mom and I don't talk much (haven't much in the last 13 years), she's not happy with who I am married to and I have to many kids, and so now. So we don't talk much, anyway I get an email from her wanting to know if I am OK now from my LP now and if the blood patch helped. I email her back and told her I didn't get the blood patch just the caffeine IV and it helped. So she emails back Oh you should have gotten the blood patch, it helped her SO much when she had her LP. What LP???

I called her and asked her when she had an LP and why. It was a long time ago (she never said how long) and get this, The Dr tries to tell her she had MS

She goes on to tell me that she didn't have any SX of MS so she know it wasn't right. She goes on to tell me that she is so sure I don't have MS and that I'm worring about this all too much. How in the world does she know what I even worry about when she doesn't even know what goes on in my life.

I asked her why she had the LP done and she said because for PCP asked her to, I asked why and she said SHE DIDN'T KNOW I asked her what SX she had and all she would tell me is none that were from MS. I asked her if she was still seeing the same Dr about her SX and she said no because this was before she moved (I don't know what time she means, she had moved 3 times since I left home). I told her if a Dr told her she has or even might have MS she needs to see a Dr about it. I just got an ear full of on how she doesn't have MS.

BTW, I live in TX and she lives in FL so I can't just go over to her house and make her go to the Dr. Not that I am worried about her seeing a Dr., she's 59 and is able to drive her self to the Dr and tell him whats going on. I just can't believe she didn't tell me this back when it happened.

wow!

sounds like itsa good thing you're in tx

i wouldn't worry about your mother... she's a big gurl

big hugs to you, tho... for the loss in your heart

Thank you, I'm not going to worry about her. But for her to know I think I might have MS and her to know that she was told she has it and not tell me, well that just flat out makes me mad. I know that they say MS is hereditary but than you read over and over agin how more than one family member has MS.

i'm sure if you think about it, her actions aren't a suprise.

i mean... doesn't a bear always act like a bear?

she gave you birth, but you give you life

Yeah, it doesn't surprise me at all. I guess I feel like she didn't tell me because she didn't want to help me get DX with something she doesn't want me to have.

the best medicine in a case like this is a great big

Mom, I think you're partly right, that your mom doesn't want to know she has ms. so she certainly does not want you to have it.

She can't control what is by wishing it away and putting her head in the sand though.

And you can't change her.



Part of it though is people of older generations were SO like that about not going to doctors and having the attitude "I'm not sick!"

Think about it, we (our generation) get it pounded in our heads that there's something wrong with us. Drug commercials all the time on tv, ads in every magazine. Yikes!

And the older people are looking at us as if we fall for all that stuff - you know they do. Just because there's more info and more meds for diseases does not mean we're a bunch of hypochondriacs, but the old folks like the docs seem to think we are sometimes.

I never heard anyone talk about my older relatives' illnesses until I got sick and asked. They just didn't bring that up. They didn't know medical words like we do, and it seemed like they though it was shameful to be ill.

Being the youngest, my older sibfreaked when this happened to me. Some would not even let anyone talk about it. I had to corner one of them and say this,

"I'm not looking for attenion or sympathy. But you should know that if I have ms, you wanna keep that in mind because you have kids. It can run in families. So if by some horrible long shot, something comes up with your girls, you can tell their doctor their aunt has an auto immune disorder. That could save them a lot of horsing around getting a diagnosis."

Similarly I got info about the relatives by saying I'd figure out what was wrong with me faster if I had a complete family hx - not because I wanted to be nosy, but because I wanted the right dx.

Mom, I haven't read anyone else's response yet....my mouth flew open though when I read this.

Look, this is more about YOU.....she doesn't WANT to know she has anything wrong with her, so let her be. But YOU need to tell YOUR doc about this....This sounds more in your favor for filling in the puzzle pieces.

Maybe she will tell you her sx that brought her to the doctor at the time the "crazy doc" suggested she have MS in an email. I would ask using the words she used to describe the doctor and the time she was there....she just might give you some very valuable information.

Don't worry about "fixing" her...that's up to her!

Good Luck!

Sounds like your Mom is in mega denial over her situation. Not unlike my Mom who doesn't go to the doctors unless profusely bleeding or unconscious.

She is an adult and will do as she wants regardless of your opinion or attempted intervention. I just think it would have been nice if she had informed you of this situation earlier on in your diagnosis journey. There are familiar linkages to MS.

In the meantime, just concentrate on your own health and what works for you. Your Mom shouldn't be a positive or negative influence on your life. You too are now an adult and can choose what is best for you and your family.

I wish the best for you.