I wanted to open up a thread that would maybe shead some light for myself (and possibly others) on a perplexing feature of the "attacks"!

In my life i have noticed two types of attacks. the "real" and the "psychological"!

The real attacks are extremely terrifying (as are the psychological - just in a different way).

i find that during the "real" attacks. I don't remember much afterwords except that feeling of extreme terror! Now what i mean by that is during the "real" attack I feel extremely disoriented, anxious, and i have absolutely no control over what is happening! Meaning I can not voluntarily make it happen, nor can I do ANYTHING to make it go away! Which is very terrifying!

some of the sx of the real attacks include, severe and irretractable double vision (usually but not always with eye pain, if it is present it is on one side), dizzyness, severe balance issues, muscle weakness, and sometimes breathing difficulties, oh and disorientation - i guess ya'll would call that cog fog?

I had a "real" attack on December 20th of 2007. I had had minor surgery w/o any out anesthesia (upper endoscopy). It was a very physically and psychologically stressful experience. I felt fine immediately after the procedure, but things deteriorated from that point on ward.

The first thing that i noticed was intermittent but severe double vision while i was wating for my ride to come back and pick me up, this started about an hour after the procedure.

By the time i got back home, i could not see (severe double vision that was constant at that point) of the variety that had severe eye pain on one side - don't remember which side but i think it was my left side. I also became very weak and collapsed on the couch and that is where i stayed for the next several hours (based upon what time it was when i periodically came back around).

At first I was talking to a friend of mine whom had driven me to the procedure. But I don't remember anything much about that conversation, except that i was in a lot of pain and was very out of it. He unfortunately had to go to an appointment (he is a neuropsychologist and had patients that morning). So I was left alone in my apartment. After he left, I don't remember a whole lot about the next few hours. I just know that i was struggling to breath and fighting to stay conscious.

The only thing i remember so briefly but so clearly is one of the times that i was dipping in and out of consciousness i reached down to pick up my cell to call him (as per his instructions if i got worse) and i lost my balance and fell off of the couch in a heap on the floor. I managed to get enough strength to lift up my head and look at the clock and from there...NOTHING... for the next two hours.

When i came back around, i couldn't move, except for a little bit of head movement, and I was still having trouble breathing. after about 15 or 20 min by the clock i finally managed to pick up my cell and get my hand near my face to call him. He couldn't get away at the time from his patients but he advised me to call 911.

I did, which was scary in and of itself b/c I had never called 911 before. by the time the abulance came i had mananged to unlock my door and lean against the couch. It was terrifying. I don't remember much after that point b/c I was sooooooo out of it.

in the ER i was coming and going in and out of awareness, and was breathing extremely shallowly. In fact when they did a bed side test of breathing, I remember the doctor gently saying, come on, breath, and the test couldn't even measure how little i was breathing b/c i was so weak! I remember him saying that it was creating an error message as not enough air being measured (we played the "comm'on breath game, about 6 times and each time i was off the charts on the low end)!

Needless to say they admitted me to the hospital and the next 5 days were a huge blur! Oh and they put me on a bi-pap - covered my mouth and nose - breathing machine (one step below a ventilator in ICU).

The 5 day stay wasn't the same kind of blur that the first day was, but I was sooooooooo anxious after i got over the initial exacerbation that my memory of all that followed was cloudy. I do remember though not understanding why i was there, or what put me there. All i knew is i was very ill and in an unfamiliar place that i didn't want to be in.

That about sums up the "real" attack for me. (this was by far the most severe attack that I had ever had!)

Fast forward... I had a "psychological" attack just a few days ago before my period. (hey gals, do you just LOVE that pre-period exacerbation we all get?) Oh that was FUN! NOT!!! Anywho, I was very anxious b/c i had just had some major changes in my life. I had been uprooted from the town that I loved, with all the friends that I had in the world, and had just had a tough resignation from a job that was my pride and joy (due to the variety of lingering physical probs from the "real" attack in December). On top of that, i was still having some residual double vision (even though it has been 2.5 months).

Well, it has taken me this long to understand and wrap my mind around some of what happened during the "real" attack and even as recently as a few weeks ago, i didn't have a clear picture on what had actually happened. I lived in absolute terror of another attack b/c I didn't understand why I had that attack in the first place. All i knew for sure was I was fine that morning and in the hospital by that afternoon on a breathing machine in ICU!

this is getting rather long so I shall only briefly summarize the "psychological" attack that happened during the week before my period.

I have been afraid of another attack ever since then so my body has been on hyper-viglant mode to every little twinge of anything. Well the previously mentioned stress got me pretty badly. I was very anxious prior to the week before the week of Ick!

but that week it just exploded into a whole slew of nonsensical symptoms. things like persistent double and blurry vision - that was not accompanied by pain, muscle weakness yet the muscles were very ridged, severe balance issues, even when i wasn't having to bad of double vision, cog fog, anxiety (severe) and of course what i guess would be the "hug" (tightness that gives the sensation of not being able to breath) around the chest that ya'll refer to. I'm guessing that is what it is, b/c i have never experienced that before this time. Oh and that lovely pins and needles sensation when I tucked my head down.

Of course by the time that i went to my new neurologist it was the night before i started my period (though i didn't know it) and most of the muscle rigidity had subsided, as had the "hug", and the ability to feel the pins and needles sensation down my arms when i tucked my head forward.

The new neuro's conclusion. She's crazy! (don't you just love it, it's all in my head)! That was also the determination of my neuropsychologist friend, i wonder if he will still say that when he reads my link to my post?

Has anyone else out there had these types of experiences?