I have MS and this is my first time posting on this forum recently (it came up that I was a newbie but did already have an account - so go figure...)

I usually post at another MS site and recognize some of your member names. I didn't post there as postings need to be specific it seems and this one just isn't.

I am depressed. I know - it is a sign of MS. I am on antidepressants. They work most of the time. When I get stressed though - forget it - the crying starts. Crying episodes are a lot fewer on the medicine - just wish the stress and crying could go away completely. But that's not life is it.

I will confess to all of you but lied to my neuro - I've been drinking several glasses of wine at night to deal with stress. My husband buys it by the box as it is cheaper that way. I have stopped doing that since a week or two ago the neuro told me my liver function tests were awful and cut my rebif in half and told me to stop drinking. I told her I drink several glasses a week - in truth it is per night sometimes lately. Just started that embarrassing habit this past year.

Haven't drank since the tests came out bad during yearly neuro appointment but now stressing and having suicidal thoughts - don't worry I have a young son and won't do that to him. Would you like to know what threw me into the latest stress episode? He is in a group - and he got awards and two others in his group didn't so one set of parents have been sending nasty e-mails and making nasty calls. Ridiculous huh? I knew one set was mad at me so expected their anger but didn't realize a second set was.

We had a meeting with a mediator so to speak tonight and after having two sets of parents screaming at me (there was another set of parents angry about my son's award also who had been holding in it)- I left the meeting crying and drove home crying. They are mad my son got the award and mad at me, my husband and my son. It is scouts and they didn't realize that scouts advance at their own level and don't have to wait for everyone in the group to get an award before one gets their advancement badge.

Right now I'm having a visual migraine - zigzag lines like lightning. At least that is what the neuro tells me they are. It is disrupting the entire left field of vision. Great now both eyes. Imitrex here I come.

Oh and I do have ms -diagnosed in 2003 after 2 years and 4 months of testing. On 1/2 strength Rebif presently - which is all my fault. The dose change that is. Probably the MS is too. If I handled my stress better I probablywouldn't have it huh?

Julie

Hello Julie,

Welcome to the site from another MSer.

You really do have a lot on your plate right now, don't you?

I wish I could give you lots of wonderful advice, but I can't! I don't know the right words to say.

I wish I could tell you not to worry about those parents who are giving you and your son a bad time, but you'll worry anyway!

I guess I'm not much use at all, but I want you to know that I'm thinking of you, and sending you some hugs.

Welcome to our board. Vent all you want, I've done it a lot! And no, you did not cause your MS just because of all the stress. Be proud of your son! There are all sorts of fun threads going on over at the Stumble Inn which is the off topic part of the MS forum here. We all need each other.

I have been a mamber of Brain Talk which kind of broke off into Brain talk and Neuro Talk for many years. I have been very proud of the fact that we allow any kind of discussion needed here. Well no political talk. MS is in every part of our life so every part of our life needs to be included in what we can talk about. Did I make any sense? Sometime my brain doesn't get all the way through to my fingers!

Thank you both for your posts. I feel better knowing someone is out there listening.

Julie, I'm new here too, but wanted to send lots of hugs your way. Know that everyone here is ready and willing to listen anytime you need to vent.

Do you belong to a support group where you live? I love having my computer friends, but it is so nice to be able to go to a place and be with real live people that are experiencing the same things that you are. If you aren't, call the NMSS and ask for one in your area. If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to email me directly and I will even give you my phone number.

Take care!

Hi Julie. I remember your name from my prayer list--you've had some rough times, haven't you? Sorry to hear that things are tough right now.

Sounds like you've taken the giant step of "confessing" that lying to your doc is a no-no.

I'm getting ready for work right now, but I will be following your thread and praying for you. Perhaps I'll even dig up a few "words of wisdom" later on, that I will no doubt plagiarize from someone else smarter than I am.

Hang in there. Morning is coming.

Hello, Julie and welcome to NeuroTalk.

Do you have a Psychiatrist? If not then please look into seeing one. The medications and combination of medications for depression is a Psychiatrists specialty.

Also, the interferons like Rebif have a known side affect of depression. Switching from Rebif to Copaxone might help decrease the depression.

Self-medicating (alcohol) is not going to solve the problem but it can make your depression worse - alcohol is a depressant.

Oh Julie ((((hugs))))

Parents are just so relentless sometimes when it comes to their children. They get more caught up in the competition more than the kids do. It is frightening sometimes. My son plays hockey....that should tell you enough. Talk about crazy parents!

On your secret...I am proud of you for stopping! Good for you to realize that it was hurting you. Stay strong and stick with it.

Try to relax and hopefully you will get some relief in your eyesight. Take care of yourself first. Don't worry about the things you cannot control. One of those things being MS!!! You did NOT cause it!!! You did NOT cause the stress either. Just try to learn to eliminate the stress where you can. Do not bring on more stress by thinking you caused your disease!

Vent here as much as you need to. We are all here for you to support you!

Welcome!
So you have a great kid and they are jelouse? Their problem, not yours. Stand proud and let this slide off your back. Not sure when society decided 'everyone gets an award' but I'm not of that mind-set.

Glad you joined us....oh....until you post a bunch, you will show as a newbie. Post more and it will change. I think at 100 posts? And again around 500-1000? Not sure when, but it's about how many you post, not how long you've been registered

Aww Julie
I can feel your pain. You came to the right place. So let it all out girl.

It always feels better to get stuff out of your own head.

You are ready to change because you realize your actions are not working for you. Acknowledgement is that first step.

Lots of good advice has been given, please heed it. It is the concerned voices of experience.

I'm here ready to listen so don't be a stranger. Sit a while and tell us more.

BTW, the other scout parents are just acting out. By not responding you are deminishing their perceived power. Your son sounds like a wonderful child.