I know this is a board for MS, but you are all my friends and I know some of you suffer from back pain too. I'm so sick of being in pain I could puke. I won't write a book about it all once again, but I need some advise if there is anyone who has had a DISCOGRAM or Surgery.

My current doctor is not real agressive. He is a good pain manager however, which keeps me 'in line'. He seems to have no other plans for me. This to me means I must suffer the rest of my life in pain. I don't want to. Just makes you want to check out sometimes.

I'm now on Vicodin, Zanaflex, Celebrex and Lidocaine patches. It is one spot that causes me the most pain (L-4) and I just want it fixed. Thats all. Is it too much to ask for?

I vaccumed today...and it requires extra pills and rest. I want to go outside and work on my flower bed and rake the yard. I could, but I'll be in so much pain later that I'll be in tears. It's also ruining my sex life. I'm always so tired, drugged or in pain that I'm not in a good mood, I don't feel pretty, I feel angry and many other things.

I know it may be too much to hope for, but maybe someone here has some words that would make me feel better or recommend a new step I've not tried yet.

I did get a second opinion and he said my current doc is doing all the right things (though not agressive in his opinion). He said he would do a different kind of injection in two of my discs and then do a Discogram. I think this may be a procedure that is done prior to surgery and metal being put in my back. I'm scared. If I go with this new doctor, the old doctor will drop me and I won't get any more pain meds as the new doctor is not a pain manager and refuses to give medications (????!!!!)

So I go with the new guy and suffer until he fixes me, IF EVER, or stay with the old doctor and my medications that at least help to some degree.

My pain manager doc told me to get off my butt and exercise (I'm only 160 lbs) but could use some exercise, so I ordered some exercise videos that I'm going to start.....but I KNOW it won't fix me. I know because I tried it before. In fact I'm afraid I'll hurt myself more...after watching them, lots of twisting, leaning forword, punching, etc....

I've had a steroid shot, 7 weeks of PT, meds....if the pain was going to leave on it's own, it would have done so by now. 4 years is a long time for something to heal........

Okay, there I did it...a book anyway. I'm probably talking to myself more than anything.....I know you all don't mind if I vent....