So much of the literature on chronic diseases deal with "fighting the disease."And I have no real idea what that phrase means, except that, to me, it is absolutely an absurd concept. What I try to do is the opposite. I try to accommodate my disease, to give in to it. When I am sick, I act sick, and then I try to treat my sickness, but to do that I need to give in to it, not fight it...just like an athlete who listens to his what his body is telling him, I have learned to listen to what my disease tells me, and rather than denying the message, I give in to it, accept it, and then I try to make the best of it, to smell what roses are left for me to smell.

If another person were in your shoes what would you counsel them to do...to fight the disease means to resist, to push back, to resist. But that makes no sense.if you were to really fight a disease, you'd refuse to go to a doctor, and not take meds, or seek help.

But I say when another person has fatigue, don't hand them a shovel, give them a pillow. And, please, be as kind to yourself as you would to someone else.

I have also quit trying to describe my symptoms to others, I just say that I am sick today, and leave it at that. If they want to know more they'll ask...and most do not.

michael,

I agree with most of what you say in this post. For me, fighting it means that I do all that I can handle physically and mentally and do not push myself. Those around me know that I do all that I can and they have never questioned me or offered advice to "fight the disease".

Your approach is much like mine and I think we are both pretty smart cookies.

gmi

i know this isn't an easy process.
you havn't been dx'd very long at all.

i got dx'd at 53. i was working in nursing in the NICU with babies.
i finally got to resign my job because of the physical demands. i still remember how shocked i was. how afraid. i really grieved for my self. nursing was my life; 35 yrs.

but i got help with therapy in dealing with all my feelings.
my good friends get it. but you're right. most people just can't and i don't blame them. your dh sounds like a great guy.

be honest with your dr. that way he can help you to better control and/or work with how you are now.

just try and take 1 day at a time. it took me a long time to know what my limits were. for a while i could go past them but not anymore. if i overdo i pay the price in pain and fatigue.

learning to judge what you can do and when you need to back off and rest takes some practice.

i'm glad you're on the board.
hope to hear more of your posts.

To answer one of your questions: When you have not had a firm diagnosis (aka: Limbo) you can't accept what it is, because there is yet to be a lable. If you ever get the dx, than I think the process to accepting can begin in a healthy way. (But could still take years based off of what others here have said)

I was in your shoes last winter, I was convinced I had MS. Now that the testing is over and I am left in a 'possible MS' state of being....my way of handleing it now is to wait it out and not worry about it. I'm hopeful I won't have any more flairs....but if history has an eye for my future....I should have a flair in about 3 years.

In the meantime, I've pulled myself out of the drama, the obsession and the depression. Survival instincts have come out...BUT...my sx have gone away and pretty much the normal me is back....when the flairs are going on, it's impossible to ignore though....

One other thing....I got those same responses from some family and friends too...(I'm tired too, I forget things too, Sometimes I get tingly, My eyes get tired) When people minimize your sx it's enough to make you feel crazy (I went to a Phyciatrist to make sure I was not crazy).....

Fortunately for me my DH was never one of the ones to minimize me and did all he could to comfort me....just keep the lines of communication open there! In your post you said you thought of divorce...then later said he was a "Good Man"....that speaks volumes

Just hang in there....and can't wait to hear how the LP went!!

...did I misunderstand...I thought Beauty had a firm dx, but is just going for a second opinion? I may have gotten it wrong. Just wanting to get it right in my head. Thanks. I am so glad we are all here to support one another. When there doesn't seem to be people who understand what is going on with us, it's nice to have this placd to turn to for comfort and support.

Greenjeans, I can't imagine what it is like to be "possible" ms. It doesn't change how your sx are feeling to you, I imagine it just adds an extra stress on top of the ms sx you are dealing with. My thoughts are with you.

BTF, in plain language, you just get used to it, one day at a time. It's not denial, fighting, accommodating or anything else, it's just living with it.

If I want to do something, I figure out how and I do it.

AMN,
You are such a wise lady!!! You have such a way of just summing it up in such a meaningful way! I know this message was not for me...but thanks!!!

You make it seem so easy!!! I like your way of thinking!!

Thanks! Really, Thanks!!

I do have the DX. I am choosing to get a second opinion. Not that I expect different results, just more information and a different perspective. When I ordered my old reports from my hospitilization in 2000, I saw on there MS as a dx THEN!!! I never knew they put it as a dx, but they DID tell me to follow up to rule it out, which I never did.

When the divorce thought entered my mind, it wasn't anything to do with DH, so to speak, other than I was fearful for MY future and his as well, and I wanted to "save" him from that future. LOL!!! He has always been supportive, even when we did not know what was going on. But, he did tell me recently that he thought my "bad days" were overly dramatic sometimes. He apologized for ever thinking that. I told him not to worry, cause at the time, I thought I was being overly dramatic as well, and that I was just *THAT* lazy. Reall, Ihave the best man in the world (although I think you may argue that fact with me, it sounds).

Thanks for your kind words!! My thoughts are with you also, and I hope you get answers very soon! I can't imagine the not knowing. I just lived in the ignoring place for awhile.

I can't wait to hear the results of my LP either. I am going to put a bug in the neuros ear on Monday, although I know she'll call when she hears!

Amen!!! And thanks so much =)