Your right TT. I am pretty sure I "knew." Heck, I have had a very strong inkling for 8 years that I had MS, cause I was told to follow up with a neurologist to get tested for it. I have even brought it up to the docs since then about the problems I had in 2000 and they suspected MS. No one, including myself, took the ball and ran with it... until I show up at the docs almost paralyzed.

Am I glad I know... IDK. I would be glad if nothing were wrong... as I am sure everyone in the wrold would be. I hate having to admit I have an illness, something I can't control. That is stupid, isn't it.

Am I glad I can start trying to take better care of myself and prevent as much deterioration from MS as I can... yes. I suppose I am...

I guess I just need a bit more time to get used to it.

Ah, my loss of 150 pounds is one of my greatest feats. That and getting my wonderful husband to fall in love with me... which didn't take much on my part... guess he was easy... LOL I *DID* do it (lose the weight) with a lot of help (Gastric bypass) but it is up to me to keep it off and keep myself healthy.

Thanks =)

Wow, you've suspected for 8 years?

I didn't suspect a thing until a week before I got the MS dx.

I attended a seminar for MS Newbies last year. The shrink who spoke insisted that there are 4 stages to accepting MS. Seems like the 1st stage took about a year to get over the denial, followed by some other equally drawn-out confused states of mind.

I had a private conversation w/him and said I hadn't experienced any of those stages. He assured me they'd come.

Happily, he was wrong. I had just one bad day. BUT, I don't have blindness or paralysis or anything terrible. Just numbness and some other random stuff. So I really don't have much to complain about.

There are so many folks around here who really struggle and have room to complain, but choose not to. Really admire them.

So, allow yourself a few days/weeks to adjust. Surround yourself by people who love and care about you. Talk about it -- such a weird disease, isn't it? Then get on with it. Glad you have your DH by your side.

Remember we are a caring bunch here at NT. Come and hang out any ole time. Keep smiling and transforming!

I was hospitalized in May of 2000. I had blurred vision, blackouts, slurred speech, memory lapses, trouble swallowing, loss of coordination, and loss of balance. They thought I was having mini-strokes. When they ruled that out, they told me I may have MS. They wanted me to follow up with neurology. I was a new nurse, working 2 jobs, in school, and traveling home to PA from VA every weekend to visit with my terminally il father in law. I refused to follow up, I didn't want to know.

Over the last 8 years, I have had things happen to take me to the doc. They always ask about previous hospitilzations, I always told them about that one, and what they said. No one ever thought to continue with the testing, cause my symptoms came on more subtle and one at a time, or at least I only complained one at a time, when I did complain (which took A LOT!).

This last relapse was after a 103.8 fever. I woke up and could barely move my left side. It went on for a week. DH wanted me to go to the docs, and I said it would pass. It got worse. I finally gave in...

... and here I am...

I guess I have been in denial for so long, I don't know how to let it sink in... or maybe just face it. I don't really know how I feel about it.

dear BT,

i can be your nurse. i've been one for 37 yrs
mostly NICU but i still know enuf.

i still remember the exact circumstances when i got the news. even tho i was expecting it i was still shocked. i did have one good cry at a friend's and then went into my get info mode. the knowledge gave me control of an out of control moment in my life.

TAKE BACK YOUR PERSONAL POWER bt. your wt loss is incredible to me.
i've been struggling in that dept for a long time. i lost 40lbs and gained back 15. the gang on my thread has been there thru the good and bad times and we can be here for you.

i'd like to encourage you to make a plan of action, or, a plan of care for yourself, just like you would a pt. like
1. get your vits
2. eat small meals to increase your protein
those 2 alone will give you more energy to cope with this dx.

don't worry about exercise right now. just work on strengthening your body and mind nutritionally. hire a RD for a few visits if need be.

maybe it's time to visit your pcp to help set up your plan.
feel free to PM me. i care.

We both know, this is something to be very thankful for. And it was not "JUST" the surgery. It was also YOU.... we know the surgery in NO guarantee. I know how glad you are that you have achieved the weight loss, especially now knowing about the ms. It doesn't mean you are always going to be perfect about eating. You are still only human. So give yourself a break. Allow yourself to be a human. Then... tomorrow will look brighter and you will get back in the saddle again. I have faith in you!