this is such a terrible situation.
i really feel for you and your little girl.

can you see your neuro or pcp and tell them you need a social services referral? not to take your child but maybe if you needed some resources they could guide you.

i think the church idea is also a good one.

my thoughts and prayers are with you sheena.
i hope your dr can help get this somewhat under control.

Im so sorry you are going thru this now. Im sending best wishes
and prayers to you and your little one.

I'm so sorry you're having to be in this situation, Sheena. Losers like him don't deserve to have children in the first place. Sure they want the "fun", but forget the responsibility. Really makes me mad!!!

The church idea sounds like a good suggestion, maybe daycare with a scholarship? I'm well past your stage -- six grandkids -- so I don't know about the cost of various programs, please excuse if they're way too expensive! Any possibility of exchanging "play dates" with other Moms? If you're able to handle an extra child or two that is. That way you'd have a couple days off to recuperate.

I really don't know what to say or suggest, just that my prayers will be with you that the Lord will help you solve this situation.

Hugs..........

I'm so sorry about all this!

As a gramma, I can NOT imagine not helping out. Grrrr....




Red Cross helped my MIL with info on every kind of assistance available when she was ill and lost everything in a fire. Why not call and see what programs are out there to assist you and DD? There may be some sort of in-home care that could help you, and help with your child at the same time?

They'll know if there's some sort of daycare (free, low cost)

or any aid at all for you, they'll hook you up.

Never hurts to ask.

You might also check with the school that your DD attends. They sometimes have access to resources that can help. Or they might know of an individual that can assist you or open some doors that you otherwise wouldn't have known about.

You'll just have to get the word out that you need help....unfortunately it won't come knocking at your door. I know it's hard to even concentrate on things like this when you're feeling so badly. Possibly your DD's father could do some of the legwork for you since he doesn't want to actually participate in the "care" part of her life. I just want to shake some sense into him....one day he'll regret not being there for her when she needs him.

I would start at Town Hall. Ask what programs they have for residents of YOUR town. Frequently scholarships to day care programs, and services are there, you just have to ask for them. Town hall welfare officer should have some good ideas for you.

Church! that is always a great place to go for help. Even if you are not a member of that church. Speak to the pastor. Speak to 10 pastors if you need to. They have lots of resources and they know how to work them.

Clearly your hubby comes from dysfunction, and MIL is quite talented at it. I am sure MIL is probably standing on her hot rock, screaming her feet hurt, and will probably want paternity tests before she will accept that child as theirs. Her own child is HER priority, and since her precious baby boy is now finally getting to better himself with school, YOU are once again rearing your head to prevent him from stepping forward. Know i HOPE you KNOW that isnt true, its just a dysfunctional way that some families operate.

You dont feel your daughter is loved, valued, or being given a foundation in that place? then REMOVE her! Find social services in YOUR home to help keep the two of you afloat. Taking the jerk back to court means nothing if he has no source to pull from. i would spend my time focusing on your own home, and how to keep it going.

I will keep you in my prayers. I wish I lived close to you so I could do more than pray for you.

I am really saddened about this, Sheena! Your EX is a jerk!

I am w/Kelly~ Why doesn't the MIL want to be involved w/her Grandchild??

Sounds like a COLD family.

Sending prayers your way and hope you feel better soon....

Thing is though... if they don't want to be involved with the child, it's probably better for the child if they're NOT involved.

That's the way I see it with my DGD anyway.

My ex-dil never even wanted me to see my DGD until the divorce. Then ds got 6 weeks of custody last summer - and they lived with me. Then ex-dil had her, and ds had weekends. Well, soon the ex was asking if we could keep the baby an extra day an extra 2 days. We ended up having here 4 days a week all fall, all winter.



Ds complained. Dh complained. It was tough on me because ds was working those 2 extra days so I was the one watching this baby. There were weeks when I had to say no, I couldn't do it because I had my ESIs and my arms were going out.

But any time I could, I did it.

I didn't do it as a favor to the ex, my son or anybody else - I did it for my DGD. This lil girl needed somebody.

her other grandma *needed to sleep in* - she's 10 yrs younger than me.





Tell ya what, she loves me, I adore her. It was worth it and I'd do it all again if it killed me.

I do it because I want to be there and I'm good for her. And this child is the best thing that ever happened to me.

It seems to me that your ex, and his family, are more detriment then anything to the situation, so I'd be looking to cut them right out of the equation.

I guess the bottom line then, for me, would be whether I felt I could manage, somehow, on my own. If we can't, we can't.

I have been trying to come up with some options for you, Sheena . . . and I haven't. I would so love to just say "things will get better, hang in there", but I know they don't always work out that way. This is one of those times where you want to continue to hope for the best, but need to plan for the worst.

If I were in your situation, I think I would try to find a family that could look after her, if only for 6 - 12 months until I knew whether I could get back on my feet. As a starting point, you could try the various resources that people have posted, like the church, SS, etc . . . Will your government pay for a "chosen" family to foster? Could you find someone willing at your local church?

This is going to require that you start networking, whether that be online, or by getting out in your community to see what choices you might have.

Do adoptions happen for kids that age, or is she more likely to end up staying in the foster system? There must be people out there that could give her a nice home, and love her. I would look into adoption options, and even if it doesn't work out that way . . . maybe it will give you some peace of mind to know if that is feasible or likely.

I wish I could take her myself, and I would if I could. In fact, if push comes to shove, maybe I could find a nice family for her here. <BIG sigh>

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

Cherie

Sheena - it sounds as if her "dad" and his family will harm more than help. I am sorry you have had to go through all of that. Sometimes there is gov't sosered respite care. Churches may be able to help. Please don't make any rash decisions since you are not feeling well right now. What about summer camp? There are some state sponsered camps that are relatively inexpensive and could help out. There are a bunch of resources out there, please check into them, and I hope you find something that works out for your needs. I am holding you and your little girl in my thoughts and prayers!
Connie