[sheena]

My health is bad and you know that so I will not go there.

There was long & bad battle, I'll give a little bg. In 2006, I separated. It got dirty b/c of MIL... She hire PI's on me... My entire past since college invaded, my prior landlords, neighbors, illegal phone tap (yes, it really happened/not just in the movies), much illegal activies by their PI. U have the idea. 1 yr later w/many tens of thousands spent, I won all, but in sep/divorce there is no winner & the child has the most loss of all.

2006, DH moved in w/MIL (his mother). FIL (nice & fair man had passed). DH did not wk from 01 till present.

Since birth never carried child to but 2 Dr appoints. She was born 34 wks after a bad bedridden pg & w/probs.

I spent 01 pg in bed, 02 thru 05 taking child to 4-8 appoints per wk. By 06 all prob corrected w/child - I planned to wk again, start over, , but spent yr in battle. 07 mental cond. was mess then mother passed, had to move due to estate, did not want too. Finally closing it this week if my heath allows.

O7 - 08 requested much child care from father, some given, some minor care for me given, all w/me paying for gas, expenses... & bitc*ing from him.

Today he has been acepted at school (now 52) for 2 yr Sonogaphy program. Prior field all in computer. U & I know at graduation (male 54) w/not get job. That is BS, BS & more BS. He has cell, all ins free, money for whatever, almost new car (same I wanted B4 I got MS), works out at gym, bottom line MIL bought him off. I tried at on point to get him back. But-no due to money. A man should work no matter how little IMHO if in excellent health. So should wife if needed.

Today, I told him I may need him to take Emily in 08 school yr. This B/C of my MS. I was refused! Told he could not take due to school... He**ll, w/o question & much loss, I cared for the one I love most. Emily is my child, is all I have really cared about. It is not too late for her with much counseling and right enviroment. I had her in counseling till MS - all improving. She was great!

DH does not want to get up at 6am, deal w/teachers, deal w/time to get out of school, reg Dr apponts., food, play, bath, bed, summer fun.... I do but failing fast. I do! This my child no matter what - I love her! I have spoiled her but that is my option. I want better for her then I had.

There is no family on my side and only GM,sister and her DH on his. They chose 25+ yrs ago to go the career deal - not the child deal. I do not want her there!!!!!!! There is much more-bottom line I will lose my house, land, credit to prevent it! What do I do if this crap keeps hitting hard.

She is with DH now - he said "you pushed her off on me" I did. It is his memorial day by papers. I'm sick - I need every hour I can get to try to come out of this. To try to get meds for illness (non MS related) . I know many men, I also know some from boards that would be grateful for extra time w/ their child. They are begging their ex, going to court... But, not this one. what do I do? I saw this coming a few mos ago - now it is here. I will be dam*d to he*l be for I see my kid in foster care. What do I do?