I was reading a Dear Abbey article that i'll include in this message about a father keeping his child's Autism a secret from other family members. I personally have never kept my son's Autism a secret from anyone and if people say things to/about him I try to educate them. As for my MS, I told everyone in school about it and when I had muscle spasms and thought I was having a stroke, my friends were concerned but called 911.

I always wonder if/when I start to date again when I should tell the person or just telling people in general about my MS. I know everyone is different but I was wondering.. do you keep your MS a secret.. and yes I know some have physical aspects which might be harder to hide than mine which is invisible to the outside eye. I just thought it was interesting.. there are times I don't think about the MS but other times.. it's all too evident *sigh*.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucda/2008060...sWy.zVFEbNbbUC

I don't tell people I have MS. My family obviously knows, but I don't generally tell. Work doesn't know. I'm sure alot of people wonder what's wrong with me, but they don't ask. Maybe they just assume I'm clumsy...

Tom

i would only tell on a need to know basis.
it can sometimes come back to bite you in the butt.

i was a nurse and had a gait problem. i was going thru testing and couldn't keep it a secret. i told. initially i got a lot of support. but as i found it harder and harder to keep going physically my "friends" started to talk behind my back. i asked for some reasonable accommodations and got them but unbeknownst to me my coworkers felt they were given more work to take up the slack.

unfortunately (shame on them) my charge nurses weren't truthful with me.
but instead started documenting my problems. i'm sure had i not resigned they would have pushed me out. it would have been more honest for them to sit and talk to me. they took the sneaky and easy way out.

just remember that once you tell (as with anything) you can't take it back.
food for thought.

When I was working, my MS was my secret except with close friends and family. After I stopped working, I kind of kept it to myself as I met new people. I didn't want to be judged until they got to know me. Now the fact that I have MS just comes out in every day conversation. Besides my daughter tells all her friends and isn't quiet about it. I took my cue from her and now I am very comfortable telling people. It has made my life a lot easier in so many ways.

If I worked it might be different, but I tell people as willingly as I tell them I have two daughters . . . It's just a part of my life.

Sometimes I have to say 'something', because I have obstacles. Like the other day I had to send some flowers, but I couldn't write the card. I asked the flourist if she would mind because I have MS and can't write.

No one ever asks any questions, just brushes it off like I do.

Cherie

I struggled with this for a short time after I was dx'd..I suppose it depends on one's situation. There comes a time when it's not possible to hide it, so I figured it was easier to tell those who needed to know (like my family, a few close friends, my employer). Now, I don't make it a point to tell someone, but I don't make it a point not to, either. As far as dating, if I was really interested in someone and they seemed to feel the same, then yes, I would tell them. Keeping something like that from someone doesn't seem like a good way to start a relationship. Besides, while MS isn't who I am, it is a part of who I am.

I think it is important for family to know because I believe there is a familial predisposition to MS. I'm still disgusted that my cousin didn't tell anyone he had it and let the whole family think I was the only one for years.

As for friends my personal friends know but my work friends don't. I'm too afraid to have it become public knowledge because as in most professions it is a small world and I worry about not being hired in the future if people know.

If someone I meet casually happens to tell me they have it I always tell them I do also.

I haven't told my parents. I think it's best that way. My mom has MS and it would serve no purpose for her to know except to pass a giant burden onto her. My brother was dx'd last year and has made the same choice. It would crush her to know that we both have it considering the severity of her course of MS.

I never told my dad because I didn't want my mom to know via him.

The rest of my family and my friends know. I have a great support system and my mom never questions why I know so much about MS now...