Gladys,

You seem like such a sweet, gentle soul, and I hope that the difficulties you faced last year are well in the past.

My mom was a kind and intelligent lady. She had a perfectly normal life, until one day in her late 20's (after her third child, with an alcoholic husband), things started happening that did not make sense in the "real" world. She saw and heard things that weren't there, and she was very afraid of so many things that most people didn't blink an eye at.

We went through years of progressive Schizophrenia with mom, and until the day she died, she insisted there was nothing wrong with her. For the first 20 yrs with the disease, she was more healthy then not . . . but then she would get stressed and have these several-months-long "attacks" of mental illness. If she could have found a medication that worked for her (and that she would TAKE!), she might have had a reasonably normal life . . . but she did not believe the doctors.

What the doctors explained to us (yes, they talked to us all the time about my mom's well-being), was that with schizophrenia, all of a person's sub-conscious thoughts come flooding to the conscious mind. People with this disability have a hard time filtering out what's real, important, and valid.

I know several people with MS who are bi-polar, perhaps because of some damage to their brain from the disease process. I haven't heard of anyone with Schizophrenia and MS, but I guess odds are that some of us would have to have it, just like the general population. I can't imagine a much worse scenerio, to be honest; to end up with MS and Schizophrenia, simply because we get so many weird symptoms and drug side-effects, I don't know how a person would know what is causing what. :(

It sounds like your mom is genuinely concerned about the things she "thinks" she's witnessed. It may very well be that she is just looking for attention, or is imagining things . . . but I think you do need to be prepared to fully analyze her accusations with your therapist.

I guess I am sensitve to this topic as I spent the last 40 yrs with my mom not accepting what everyone else saw so clearly. For some reason, she was able to rationalize everything that happened (all the "craziness"), and there was no convincing her that she DID have this condition. (Being as intelligent as she was made things very hard to argue too!)

Of course, you have some very valid reasons for why you may have experienced some of these strange occurrences over the last year . . . but I hope you keep an open mind about this too. :hug:

Cherie

gladys, yeah what they all said, seriously your rights were violated, unless you are still under age of 18, after 18, unless they are still your legal guardian, they should have no access to any info on your mental or psychical conditions via a doc or medical group , good luck with the next visit:hug:

Lady Express,

I am not afraid of exploring that avenue. I'm the one that Chose to go to Therapy! I'm the one that's had it up to *here* with all the unresolved issues. I'm the one who has been preaching therapy. What I mean about being afraid of an AD....well I also know that there are mood stabilizers, I'm less fearful of, kwim? It's just the AD's.

What happened last summer, with my post-pathum issues and fears happened LAST Summer. I'm ready to talk! I'm ready to get down to the bottom of it all...even hypnotherapy. et al.

Now, what she is 'claiming' to have happened in the two weeks I was in her home...I'm sorry! THOSE things DID NOT happen!! The things she said to my friend...WOW! Did I wander through her home, looking through my bags, looking for the keys to my medicine lock box? YES! Did I have a thousand yard stare after uprooting my kids, and leaving my husband? Yes! Was I angry with my husband? Yes! Did I have a hard time trying to chase my kids around her home, keeping them out of her breakables? Yes! Did I go on-line to my support group? Yes!

Then, she and her dh....started with the weird comments! First, EVERY day, while I was there, my mother wanted to make sure that I downloaded my life insurance policy and change it. Was I skeptical of doing that there? Yes! Was I fearful of her dh putting the 'moves' on me? YES! They suggested I write to my uncle and ask for some financial assistance to move out, I asked how much did they think? My mother's dh, said, Oh about a years worth of rent. I morally struggled with such an idea. But thought, I really need to get me and my kids out on our own...housing has a one-year wait list. I wrote a fluffy message. But I asked. I never checked the replied message, I was too ashamed to have asked that.

One day, I overheard her dh argue with her, because he had had it with us living there. It wasn't supposed to last this long. Then his 'abuse' started. Little verbal attacks. Called my 5yr old a 'jerk.' Said, too bad my 2yr old is schizophrenic. One day, when he decided to 'discipline'my 2 yr old, he kept complaining about how angry my son was! He took him into the next room screaming and hollering, within seconds there was quiet. Apparantly my son 'fell asleep". Yeah, right! I still don't buy that one.

There's more, naturally. After a miserable Mother's Day experience, with snide and nasty comments to me, I had decided that I concurred with my own DH. This man is a nasty influence in our lives. That maybe, my mother wasn't the greatest influence either. I finally 'woke' up to how she drinks. I realized she was always drinking when I was a child. Going out, partying, etc. There was a 'break' in this drinking. After my parents divorced, I was living with my dad. She immediately remarried. When her second husband fell ill, the drinking stopped. It stopped for a good many years, until he succumbed to his illnesses.

The day after Mother's Day. I called my DH. We talked. He had during this split told me that he would quit drinking if I'd just come home. On this day, I cried, I said I'm sorry. You are right about this man. I've left a bad situation for a worse situation! Are you serious about not drinking? Because I can no longer live in a home where there is alcohol. I had already quit myself by this point. I quickly packed my bags, got our stuff together, called a cab and me and the boys went home! One of my friends helped me go back to get the rest of what was there.

What followed, was he**!!! My Mother lost it on me! She raged, she carried on! She called everyone she could think of! My poor self, my poor husband. He was in disbelief about the things she said! With a mother like mine, who needs enemies!

One of things I wanted to get taken care of in therapy...a source to last summer. I'm the one who wants to find out if it's an isolated incidence, or if it's the beginning of something horrific! Either way, I'm the one who wants to go to therapy!!! This is MY choice! And I'm appalled that SHE'D CALL my DOCTORS before I even get there! I've been waiting months for this appointment!!! Months!!! It's finally almost here!!!

Her plans of having a hospital all lined up for me...well....I'm skeptical of her and her dh's motives!

Let the therapy show and prove, that I've been living with a passive-aggressive control freaking maternal presence in my life! Let the therapy show why I've struggled so hard to become an adult!

I'm not against meds....I'm just against not being tested first! I'm against walking in there the first day and being sent home with something that MIGHT not agree with my system! If that makes sense?

ARe you sure we are not related? your mother sounds an awful lot like my mother! There is a reason I live so far away from them.

Ok, as a nurse, let me tell you. When a patients mommy, sister, husband, or neighbor would call to "report" a patient, whether it was for being abusive of their meds, or selling their meds, or hearing voices, or acting strangely, or murdering chickens in the yard, WE DO LISTEN to what that caller has to say, BUT we CANNOT/WILL NOT divulge any information back to the caller. its a ONE way conversation, and we say things like "thank you for telling us this, and wow, that is interesting, and how scary for you." BUT we also reccognize that MOST callers have a personal interest in the call. Whether that is anger and the "i will teach her a lesson" kind of call, or the "I am really scared for her" kind of call. We base OUR care, concern, and treatment of our patients on the PATIENTS demeanor, NOT the caller.

If you appear to be the kind of person that would sell your rx, and we are getting phone calls from sources saying you are, we would pull a urine to see if you are taking your meds. If we get phone calls that you are selling your rx and you dont strike us as that kind of person, we discount the caller and move on.

IF your MD believes that the caller has merit that you are hearing voices, acting inappropriately or of danger to yourself and others, he will ask you some simple simple questions the next time you go in. he will see by the way YOU answer those questions that you are not in trouble.

Please know that as a healthcare provider we see the whole gamut of family members butting in. From those who think we are trying to kill their child, to those that think we are quacks and need to dismiss their child. please please please know that the DOCTOR PATIENT RELATIONSHIP IS JUST THAT. Between the DOCTOR AND THE PATIENT. If you are worried about your mothers involvement or interfernce please bring it up next visit and explain that you are being told that mom is on a rant, and want to apologize for her behavior. That she is expressing some anger because you have chosen to move on with your life, and she is grasping at many straws to pull you back. Thank him for entertaining her, an hearing her out, but assure him that you are in NO way in trouble, and while its hard to deal with a mom you are doing your best.

Hang in there! I got one just like her in my corner. :hug:

Well, HIPPA says NO!! They can't even send your medical records to another doctor without your consent. I had to deal with HIPPA a lot...we couldn't even put in a file that a child's mother was HIV because of HIPPA.

Those laws are really very strict, I think I would call the Neuro and ask exactly what the conversation was about.

sorry you are having to go through this...hope things really do get better for you


Here's a hug just for you!!:hug:

I think before "convicting" her Doctor we need to remember that her mother could be lying about any conversation that might or might not have happened. Like others have said her Doc can listen but can not share any information.

GladysD, I am very concerned about you. Your posts sound like the things that happened last May are still haunting you. It must feel horrible to still have such pain and distrust. I do hope you find a doctor that you can trust and will consider taking whatever medications they might suggest. If you can start to feel better it would be wonderful for your children also. Wishing you the best.

Thanks Jules!

I agree, we shouldn't condemn the dr just yet! She may or may not have spoken with him.

May 2008, is when things went down between my mother and myself. It was just yesterday, july 26 that I spoke with my friend. It was just yesterday that I found out what my mother had planned for me! It was just yesterday that I realized why it was that I was feeling as if my children's jeopardy was at risk!

My post-pathum issues occured last summer, end of July/early August. At that point I went to my primary doctor. At that point, I was referred to a neurologist for evaluation and testing---to rule out something organically wrong with me, psycho-motor seizures(complex partial-seizures) or brain lesions was the prognosis. I was instructed that if that wasn't discovered, I'd have to contact a therapist.

Guess what they found? I HAVE MS. July 2007 was the 6-month marker that I've heard most women complain about flare-ups---fatigue, problems with vision, et al...the usual heat related issues.

Went to a psychologist following my dx. Came back mild anxiety. I stopped going when I realized all he was going to do for me was drive up there weekly for relaxation sessions.

During the winter, I started pursuing the avenue of leaving my dh. I'd had enough of the abuse that resulted from his alcohol issues. Last summer, he was calling me 20-40 times a day to check up on me, etc. Jealous rages, the whole nine yards. Come the end of April of this year I left him.

Two weeks at my mother's was enough for me. I came back home. This is when she called and left that voicemail with my friend. In it were instructions NOT to tell me about this ever! My friend hadn't heard from me. Assumed that this happened to me. She'd been waiting to hear from me.

I called her yesterday. She said, did you know they were planning to put you in a hospital? Then it all came out....it all came together in my mind.

1)In middle of May 2008, I went to my neuro. Asked him if there was anyone he recommended for me to see.

2)I called to set up an appointment, and was told to call back at the beginning of June.

3) End of May, I went to a psychologist for the SSA...

4) End of May tried to set up appointment with therapist, finally obtained one for August.

Yes, I'm going to follow through on the therapy and take whatever meds I need.

My father informed me that my mother can not let go of what I went through last summer. To me, it's suspicious what she may have had in mind for me when I was living with her. It's all suspect now! The issues I am carrying forward are Mommy Issues! Yes, I have Mother issues! I want to heal from my dysfunctional past and move on with my life!

I devore self-help reads like they are going out of style! My wellness is my #1 top priority!

Sorry for any confusion due to the long and lengthy and touchy posts....

I am sorry, I did misspell HIPPA, and it went into effect after I stopped nursing, but I do know that everywhere I worked as a nurse (everywhere since I was a agency nurse) it was pounded into me that to reveal a patients confidence was the worst thing I could do and that I could be sued for it and fired!! Like I said, maybe that was just here in Tn, but I assumed it was statewide?? I have also been told by the Dr's office that the HIPPA form I signed each and every time I saw Dr was all about whether or not they could share my info with Anyone,(including voicemail) not just the insurance company, so beats me??
I personally think it is way out of line if it happened and if any Dr of mine violates my privacy without my consent there will be major trouble for him unless someone lies and says I am crazy, and a threat to myself or others, but they had better have proof of this:) I hope you find the Dr did not do that since it is so wrong in every way!! I trust them with my thoughts and feelings and would feel more then betrayed if they spoke to even my Dh behind my back without my consent! Good luck with all of this!

Dejibo! Who knows?! Are you my long lost sister ??? ;)

I have to say, this explanation of how it works, puts my mind at ease! If she did contact them...then, this is acceptable to me for answers etc! :)

I feel better reading you post and everyone elses!

I see my neuro at the end of August and will ask if she did, indeed call. Then I will apologize for such an intrusion into the patient/doctor confidence. Trust is a two way street. I don't want my doctors not trusting me, as much as I don't want to not trust them :) And if I don't acknowledge this, then how can there be trust towards me? I'm trying to keep myself as well as I can, and for this occurance to be in the back of his mind? Well...I think doesn't fare well for me.

I'm going to get to the bottom of my summer with the therapist...at least it will be in my records. And then focus on living life and moving on !

Thanks so much!!! :hug:

hey, my mom called my MD to tell him that I was NOT taking enough pain pills. that I frequently ignored my pain, or found myself in bed because I couldnt finish my day from the pain. She wanted to register her complaint and ask that I be allowed MORE pills! :eek:

After seeing the MD the next time, he assured me that while my mom was NOT given ANY information about me, they did listen to what she had to say, because it sounded so serious, and he wanted to talk to me a min about it.

I explained that I have BUCKETS of pills at the house. i CHOOSE to NOT take them. I am retired! If I want to go lay down, I CAN! I dont need permisson. That if I want a pill, I have many to chose from. I got the standard lecture that if I wanted to be re evaluated for better pain control, to please let him know! they are happy to give me just about anything I want since I do not display drug seeking or abusive behaviors.

upon returing home and calling my mom I found out that she wanted me to MAIL her some of MY pills so my sister could have them!!!! :eek: my sister is a bad drug addict and will rob you blind. if she thinks you have pills on you, take your pocket book to the toilet with you! When I go visit my mom I lock my bag in my car. My mother went on to tell me that my sister is in alot of pain, and her MD isnt listening to her the way mine listens to me! I should have more compassion for her and send her some of what I am not using!

I have morphine if I want it. I can have vicoden, dilauded, and whatever. I DONT use it! well, I do but not like that. So, I swear, we must be related! I am not being forgiven because my sister is in pain and I am ignoring her needs! I have offered to speak to her MD office to see if I can be helpful, but REFUSE to send a tylenol through the mail for her. My sister doctor hops, and has 6 or 7 at a time givng her Rxs. scary stuff! yet I am the one in trouble??!