Jean, thank you for your thoughtful reply. I did buy a recliner, last year, and what a waste of money. It's not automatic and it isn't a lift chair. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I find it hard to operate and hard to get out of. I am considering giving this one to my DD and getting one like yours.

I think I am just a little down right now, because of all I've been through. I need to give myself more time to recuperate, and quit trying to rush things. We people with MS are control freaks and it's so hard for us to be needy.

Thank you all for your replies and concern, and remember, I am here for you too.

Love,

It's totally understandable to be "a little down" and scared after all the things that have happened in the past couple of years.

I can still drive (rather drive once more) so I am not tied to the house as I once was. But now I'm more alone than I ever was. David works from 7 or 9 am each day (including Saturdays) and comes home for dinner around 7 at night. Both girls live near but not near enough to visit regularly. I order my groceries online at www.peapod.com and they are delivered the day after the order is placed. Even tho' I drive and walk, I cannot handle the aisles , fatigue and sensory overload of the grocery store. No longer enjoy any kind of shopping. It's just not worth the effort that it used to be.

When I came home from the hospital last week, it was all I could do to make it from the bed to the bathroom and back. The kitchen was out of reach and that first day, I was alone for 7 hours. I started to take the kind of long hard look at me that you are doing for yourself right now.

What happened with me is that the community (through church, Rotary, my husband's job) started calling and looking in and running errands. I think that support has been there all along and I've just not seen it or asked for it or allowed it in. I never wanted to ask for help but it seems to be there without the asking if I allow it. Perhaps there are other friends who would like to be a bigger part of your life and you have not seen it yet?

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I'm sure you will get your confidence back as time goes by. I think the idea of a single story is a good one. I'm sure the idea of moving is a daunting one. I know there are a lot of assisted living places that are quite nice with care available when needed. Plus they have so many scheduled outings and social occasions.

You are so friendly and nice. I'm sure you'd be a queen bee in that setting!
Feel better soon.
Jean

Sal, So sorry to hear about your problems and fears of living alone. I must admit, I'm really afraid of this too.

I'm even more afraid of progressing and having to live in a nursing home etc.

I've had a few bad falls lately which have gotten me thinking about safety issues and long term planning.

We are about to do a major renovation on our bathroom which will have a walk in shower with built in bench, hand shower, elevated commode, and about 10 decorative grab bars which can double for towel racks etc. Not cheap at all but something I really need. On days when my legs are tired and wobbly, I'm just scared to death of our old bathtub etc.

Last year we had the walkway to our house changed to a concrete type small ramp. No more having to walk up one big step with nothing to hold onto to get into the house.

I do not like this disease at all. However as we baby boomers age, there are more and more universal design options available for us to stay safe in our homes. I just wish there were more tax credits for these type of safety issues.

I highly recommend a lift chair for the many comfort and safety issues it can provide.

Best of luck to all as we cope with trying to remain independent. Betty

(((((Sally)))))
I can sooo relate. Living alone with a disability really is the pits. My townhome is on one floor except for the basement where I have a chairlift like you with a scooter downstairs. The basement is a walk-out to the patio and back yard so I need the scooter for that. However, here on the main floor, there is no way out with my powerchair. The front door has one step down to the porch and another to the ground. The garage is two steps down and lately I need someone to help bend my legs to get in the car and only drive into town, 1/2 mile.

After crawling around on the floor for an hour after a fall last year, I broke down and bought a Life Alert. Those commercials used to seem so funny -- "I've fallen and I can't get up!" -- until it happened to me. I wear mine as a bracelet instead of around my neck.

With the help of two friends who grocery shop, clean the house, do outside chores, etc., I'm still getting by. I do have to pay them though. Cherie's link for the groceries is interesting, have to check it out!! But I never go anywhere and only see my "kids" occasionally.

For me, the depression of isolation is becoming a battle, not really scared, just lonely. It's time for a different AD here. And yes, as others have mentioned, when we're feeling extra weak and fragile due to another physical problem like your teeth situation, it really throws us for a loop.

Thank goodness for this board and others for the "human contact" we all need. Sometimes I'm too weak and tired to post, but can at least read.

I know you'll make the right decision for yourself -- you're stronger than you think!! We can do this!!!!! Just wanted to add my support and love, knowing we're all in this "leaky boat" together!

Love and hugs!!!

Sally:

It's hard being alone sometimes. Most of the time I like the peace and quiet when my daughter is in school.

This weekend I had to make a choice between going into hospital or staying home. I put my emergency care plan in place for my daughter and stayed home. It lasted less than 24 hours - my daughter came home because my husband couldn't get her to stop crying - she wanted to be with me. Her special services worker spent a couple of hours with her, my respite worker was away.

It was difficult to say the least. Every time I tried to lie down she would get anxious, she sense when something isn't right and her anxiety level goes up.

I just got her off to school, so I can lie down all day if I have to.

Living on one level in a 2 bedroom apt. has made my life much easier. I have a roomba to do my vacuuming. Unlike you though, I am mobile. That fall must have been frustrating and frightening.

I'm sorry you have to struggle so. You do well to manage alone.

Yes (((((Judy))))), I knew you are alone too. Most of the time I like being alone. It's just those rare times, as you mentioned, that sometimes make it difficult. But hey, we're getting older and I'm a firm believer that the world owes us. I'm not about to give up all of which I've earned to give it to a nursing home. Not yet! Not ever, if I can help it.

My home sounds much like your townhouse, except I don't have to go outside to get to the basement. Let's you and I, and whoever else wants to join us, get a sprawling ranch, all on one floor, a pool in the back with a maid/cook and poolboy/chauffer, of course.

I guess you can tell...I'm feeling better today and I am so grateful to have friends such as you.

Love and Hugs,