Kicking that treatment out the door...wiping hands of it!

Over and done and moving on to somethang else!

That's what we do around here. If something is not working..try something else!

You know..it is okay if you use a wheelchair at the airport. Some of those airports are huge! Don't sweat it! Relax and enjoy the ride!

and.....((((((RedPenguins))))))

Taffy is right...if that didn't work, keep trying until you find one that does. Having a relapse does not mean that after you fight, bang, ding your way through it you won't be almost like new.

Many of us have had those really bad experiences and we still manage to slowly steam and chug our way down the river. lol

Hang in there, and don't give up...which I know you won't and we will be here to yell from the sidelines as you run for the finish line.

If you need to use a mobile aid for a few months, hey its ok...you haven't failed unless you have given up...

Oh, Keri I am so so sorry. I cried when reading this. I thought you had found your cure. I am so mad for you....RATTTTTS.

I hope the IVSM does the job and stops your exacerbation in it's tracks. When you are better, we can talk about what next.

I hate this disease..

(((((((((((((Keri))))))))))))

Keri

Get through the IVSM and see where you are then. Don't worry about the what ifs, take care of yourself. Nothing is ever carved in stone and this wasn't a claim of a cure. As we all know, not everything works for everyone and you now just have to wait and see where you go from here.

Relax, plenty of fluids and rest. That's what you need right now...not beating yourself up!

Keri,
Please don't blame yourself! You didn't do a thing wrong. You're very brave for giving the HiCy a try. Good luck with the steroids and feel better soon.

Thank you everyone. I'm trying to be "okay" right now - but it's SO hard. The word devastated doesn't even begin to cover it.

I sent an email to my doc at Hopkins and he wrote back earlier today. He said I had options and not to worry. As of now, I think I will re-dose with the HiCy again and maybe they will make modifications. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on tv....but, eh, I have some thoughts. LOL

I will be sending them a copy of the MRI tomorrow and then faxing the full report to them as soon as it's written up. I will be going out to see them in January.

I'm not giving up....at least not yet. I'm more of a fighter than I ever thought I'd be - this disease has taught me that much.

Think I will tell the doctor that I tolerated the first round of HiCy with too much ease - this time I want to be sick as a dog, on death's door, puking up my innards - and heck, I'd like to lose a few pounds this time (I gained weight last time!).... Then I will know I got the right dosing!!

My body and mind are definitely not cooperating with me. Put up the Xmas tree - and managed to drop 5 glass ornaments - all of which broke. That was after I broke two glass dishes earlier. Very sad. I thought I was passed all of this. One hand is very weak - and the "good" hand has the IV line hanging out of it - so it isn't usable at the moment.

I'm really for 2008 to be over!!

~Keri

I'm not going to say "Don't worry" because I want to smack people that say that to me. Duh, why didn't I think of not worrying?

Once you've had some time to absorb all of this, you will of course see that there is no shame or guilt in having the disease, in "failing" to respond to treatment, in having an exacerbation. NOR is there anything wrong with occasionally kicking the wall (please don't kick the cat) and venting. This is a good place to vent.

Give yourself a little time. Sometimes change is for the worse, but we adapt nevertheless.

You have my empathy and my prayers, but you are NOT getting my Polly-O's. (Bob, lock the refrigferator)

Keri , we are fighters! We may be knocked down a few times or a lot, lay there dazed for awhile, but then we usually always drag ourselves back up and keep on going.

Like you said, you may not be a doctor but you are smart and can figure things out. Besides, you know your body better than the docs can know it.

I know it's hard to start using mobility aids, but then you discover how much easier it is to get around and how much safer they make your life.

Best of luck with the IVSM. I'll think of you, because I start mine this afternoon.

Keri,

I am very, very sorry to hear about your lastest exacerbation. Has HiCy failed you or is this simply a bump in the road? Who knows, but, it's definitely NOT your fault.

Take care of yourself

Keri - I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this right now . I think it always makes things worse when we are doing well for a few months and then something creeps up and knocks up back a lot (I don't have MS but have a similar problem that works in the same way as MS).

I wish I had a magic-wand to make you feel better - I hate that you are all having to go through all of this ((hugs)). I agree with what the others have said though, please, please, please don't feel guilty - you are NOT a failure and in NO way is it your fault that the medications aren't working for you and that you have MS! As you probably know, MS will do what it wants to when it wants unfortunately and there is nothing you can do ((hugs))!!

Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and really hope that you find something that will help you and that you get relief real soon.

Love, Alison.