I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think that's selfish at all. This darn disease is frightening enough and I think I'd have the same reaction, especially in my first few years of DX. If it's causing you to have that feeling then it still is about you in some way because you empathize with the one that suffered and died.

Blondi I am sorry for your DH's loss of his boss, who was also his friend. We all are sad to hear when someone dies who has MS. He died of a stroke. Maybe he could have lived longer, who knows, but the stroke got to him first. He must have had a weakness in an artery, perhaps the MS did not kill him.

Crying is the best way to release your built up emotions. And talking to friends here that you care about, even though some you have never met. The MS club has no boundaries.

That was very nice that you made him Carmel corn. He did enjoy it he said. You were his friend even if you never met him. I hope you feel better soon. Life in not always fair.