I go for long periods of time just carrying on my life, such as it is now, without questioning it. Then, occasionally I start to question...why, when, how, etc.

I guess I may never have the answers in this life. It just would be great if we all could have some answers. I guess I tend to want to blame something... so why not blame myself.

I was having a ton of stress on top of being a workaholic prior to the dx. I won't even get into the stress!!!

Sometimes I also wonder if the ms was triggered when I was 17. I had, what they said, was hystoplasmosis in my eye. They did laser surgery, which back then was a big deal. I just remember having to travel several hundred miles to get to a hospital that did the procedure. I remember, getting a shot directly below my eye under the lid, to numb the eye before the procedure. OUCH!

But anyway, after the a few weeks after the surgery, I started having constant headaches, very bad. They were continual after that. The surgeon said, the eye problem did not cause it. And my pcp didn't know.

Also, after that I remember being afraid to climb down bleachers at ballgames unless I could hold onto a handrail. I felt very off balance. Now I think maybe that was a sx of ms.

I guess I'll never know if the eye problem was really the onset of ms sx????

Thanks for listening. I am interested in all of you and things you believe started it all. Because, maybe I'm not alone in wondering why, when, how, etc.

Thanks for listening!!! I don't know anywhere else I can have these conversations except here at NT.