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Old 07-12-2009, 11:21 AM #1
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Default At the two year mark and... (a reflection and a vent)

some things are easier, some things are not.

The first year was harder as far as trying to wrap my head around this disease. Knowledge is power, and managed to grab my paws on everything to help me understand what was going on. Thankfully found a few forums, including NT, and got a lot of support and help when I was scared (side note: you guys are awesome!!!! )

Went out on a limb and decided to showcase my art. Been hoofing it to galleries and festivals, and trying to get my name out there People are funny creatures. I get less hemming and hawing when I say I'm an artist versus when I say I'm not working.

Hitting my second year feeling a little worse for wear and heading for the MRI on Tuesday - the second in the year. There was a "maybe" new leison on my T spine on the last one, but I moved too much for them to get a clear shot. Hopefully valium will help them get a pretty pic.

Recently getting a little frustrated with the rollar coaster of symptoms - never the same two days in a row! It makes it hard to plow through sometimes since it's on the unpredictable side, but I keep trying. The new ones have been even more fun, and hoping I can find ways to adjust around them like I have for my more usual suspects.

Want to scream at the docs, especially the next one who says my symptoms are "a typical". I feel like saying - "Well, Duh! been that way since the start", but generally too nice to say something like that. Though my neuro and I almost got into a major arguement at the last exam.

So that, believe it or not, is the short version Still taking it one day at a time and trying to keep on keeping on.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:26 AM #2
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Finlady,
Keep on truckin"

kicker
PS while never a "deadhead", I like the Grateful Dead.
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:35 AM #3
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Your post made me think about how long it's been since my dx......nearly 4 years!

I never imagined I'd be dealing with this disease but I believe that it's just part of the plan for me. That makes it a little easier for me to deal when the sx flare up or I have a "MS Moment".

You seem to be dealing very well. What choice do we have, really? Just have to make the best out of what we're dealt. I have to tell you that I enjoy looking at the art you post. I wish I had some kind of talent that I could showcase to others.

Being able to share my concerns, problems and accomplishments here with my NT friends has been a tremendous help. Not sure what I would have done had it not been for this online support group.
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Old 07-12-2009, 07:08 PM #4
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I had my two year anniversary in March (March 29th to be exact). It is weird how that date sticks in my mind. The first year was definitley hard, and I still expect to wake up some day and discover that I am all better. I understand your frustrations. Having a place like NT to come to has meant alot to me. Family and friends just do not get it.
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Old 07-12-2009, 10:10 PM #5
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On my 2 yr Anniversary, I was in remission and denial.. I was way too busy with a second grader in a new school, 11 yr old and 13 yr old stepsons and a new house....Oh yes, and a DH to raise..

I had only miniml symptoms and was bothered by the heat a lot, but lived a pretty normal life for a long time. I would say that my second year realization came in 1992, 17 yrs after my initial DX, when I had my second BIG exacerbation from H e l l.. That was the real start of my decline into the abyss of MS..

I am so sorry for your loss, Finlady..
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Old 07-12-2009, 10:31 PM #6
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Hi Finlady,

I'm about to reach my second year anniversary too. Hard to believe that 2 years have gone by. I'm glad you have the art to bring some meaning and happiness into your life! Sometimes I think that I've come along way in 2 years, esp. when I remember the first few months after diagnosis. Other times I think that having this disease still produces way more anxiety than is healthy for me--I know this because occasionally I allow myself to imagine what it would be like not to have MS and my life seems like it would be so less stressful and more carefree. I find that upsetting sometimes. I'm still searching for a place where I can feel content.
Anyhow, good luck on the path toward health.

Natalie
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Old 07-15-2009, 08:01 PM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinLady View Post
The first year was harder as far as trying to wrap my head around this disease. Knowledge is power, and managed to grab my paws on everything to help me understand what was going on.
I was the same way......read everything I could get my hands on. And endlessly looked things up on the Internet. That's how I found NT!

I'm not as fanatical about it now as I was in the beginning. I just wanted to learn everything I could about it.....and that turned out to be very frustrating because no two people have the same sx with MS. It's such an individual disease.
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Old 07-16-2009, 08:19 AM #8
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Kitty, I call it the "designer disease" since it's unique to everyone.

Well, spine came back with no changes, which is a plus. Still feel like I'm going bonkers , but have decided to just keep trucking on. Gotta 'cuz I'm stubborn, and that's how I roll
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Old 07-17-2009, 09:54 PM #9
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Default Hang in there

The first year is the hardest. You want to tell everyone that you have MS You have an internal pity-party. You feel like crap because the MS is bad enough to get a diagnosis. You read everything you can get your hands on and re-read the same info on the internet. You get ticked at everyone who doesn't understand MS....and no one knows how you feel.
Those relapses can take a toll where you may never feel as good as you did before. Its okay. There will be good days and bad days. Unfortunately you have to let time go by to determine bad times of the year for your symptoms and what stresses trigger it also. You'll freak a bit when something new pops up only to find out its not progression. Its a long learning process and THANK GOD ABOVE for places to talk like this site. I've learned more here and been comforted the best. People here have given me the knowledge and forethought to ask my docs the important questions. If I had to get MS, I'm glad I got it in the age of the internet. Thank the lord for the medications on the market that help me. God bless the scientists.

I've been hanging since my 2003 diagnosis but my first signs started in 1989.
Venting is healthy.....you can vent on my shoulder anytime.
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