[tkrik]

I was just wondering how many of you with cognitive issues have also lost confidence in your abilities. Losing bits and pieces (literally) can be so frustrating. While my intelligence is still there and my IQ is still high, I find that it is hard to handle many complexities that used to come so easily to me. My visual memory is shot, more than likely permanently gone, my ability to grasp details waivers, and my calculation abilities are below average as well as some other minor issues.

Lately, I have been thinking about going to work outside the home on a very part time basis or taking a couple of classes. I talked to the school several months ago, Disabled Student Services, and she brought up some very good points and it kind of discouraged me from not only taking classes but working as well. My neuro agreed with Disable Student Services not only on the concentration/focus issues but physical as well.

I did go for a follow up/more intensive neuropsych testing and will get my results in a few weeks. I did notice improvements in some areas but some really odd things happened while taking the tests and I noticed new things. Even the "tester" thought some things were "interesting." (Like being able to repeat numbers backwards quickly and accurately but not able to do them forwards.) Speech therapy, here I come. LOL

With us MSers, it is not like having dementia. We are aware of our deficits and know them where as those with some types of dementia aren't aware. I think because of that, it is harder for us MSers to accept these deficits.

I hope I explained that well enough. Stupid summer cog fog.

Anyhow, again, do you notice a lack of confidence/trust in your abilities?

[Kitty]

I totally understand what you're saying. I hate cog fog with a passion. Some days it's nearly debilitating....others it's manageable.

The thing with me is that I can read something, understand it, but if someone asks me about it or wants me to explain something in further detail I'm unable to. It's like I can't put my thoughts into words. Or if I do manage to then I can't think of certain words once I begin speaking. It's so aggravating.

I find it's worse later in the day so fatigue has got to be playing a big part of it. I'm sorry you're struggling with it, too, but at least we know there are others here who experience similar things (unfortunately). We're not alone on this crazy ride!

[Snoopy]

Originally Posted by tkrik

Anyhow, again, do you notice a lack of confidence/trust in your abilities?

Yes.

I'm in a little bit different position as you but have the same feelings you describe. I have a few things that can be blamed for cognitive problems and no way to know which one is the problem or if it's a combination.

Last year I was looking for a job but as we all know jobs can be hard to come by, especially when you have been out of the workforce as long as I have (MS is not the reason).

I ended up doing volunteer work. It was a way for me to see what I can and cannot do without the risk I would have with a paying job.

I do clerical work at an animal shelter. I enjoy what I am doing, the staff, and of course...the animals.

I was upfront with the Volunteer Manager as well as my immediate supervisor about the MS.

Having said all of that I have run into different situations where I will doubt my ability to have a regular job.

I do filing, microchip registrations and I'm currently being trained in putting together the "off site" adoption packets. I have answered phones but it's never been explained how to handle anything beyond basic information.

Yesterday was not a good day for me (tired, cog, running in slow motion). I knew why this was happening and it's not caused by MS. I went in to do what I usually do knowing I wasn't doing real great.

The problem started when I was on the computer doing the microchips and trying to answer the phones and help people (mult-tasking). Instead of putting people on hold I was putting the reciever back down without pushing hold first I was disconnecting them

On the other hand, I was doing the same thing last week without a problem...I hate when I have "off" days

The shelter has been known to hire volunteers and I figured if they were looking to hire me I probably just screwed that up .

So...confidence/trust in my abilities has at times taken a beating as well as my self esteem BUT I know I am doing the best I can under the circumstances.

I will continue to do what I'm doing because more times than not I am able to prove to myself I CAN DO IT.

TK, find something that will allow you to experiment with what you can or cannot do, you won't know until you try. Volunteer work can be a good way to do it.

[tkrik]

Thanks for the affirmation, Kelly and Snoopy. It is a crazy ride.

I have days that everything seems fine, I leave to go somewhere, hit the rode driving and realize I can't handle the stimuli coming at me and have to turn around and go home. I am hoping the speech therapist can help with that.

Empty nest is just around the corner and I have to work through some of these issues. I can take the bus but waiting for it to arrive in 100+ degree blazing sun weather is not an option.

Snoopy - OMGoodness! Your off day is exactly some of the reasons for my lack of confidence. However, yes, I need to do something and do have the federal grant to take some classes. I plan on doing anyhow despite the concerns my neuro shared with me as well as the lady at Disabled Student Services.

[Aarcyn]

Have you ever thought of trying Amantadine?

Back four years ago, I was in a study for Amantadine. Although I do not have cog fog, the test was for that drug and I was given a series of tests before and after taking the drug.

I use it for fatigue but it seemed the primary use was for cog fog.

[tkrik]

Originally Posted by Aarcyn

Have you ever thought of trying Amantadine?

Back four years ago, I was in a study for Amantadine. Although I do not have cog fog, the test was for that drug and I was given a series of tests before and after taking the drug.

I use it for fatigue but it seemed the primary use was for cog fog.

Cyn - I don't know anything about Amantadine but will ask the neuro at my next appointment. I have a follow up appointment in a few weeks. I go back to the neuropsych for the results of my tests as well as to discuss her recommendations. In the meantime, I will not only ask my brother about it but also do some of my own research on it. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Jodylee]

I understand T, I have some of the same issues as you. Driving gets harder and harder as time goes by.

I also have trouble with decision making . Today I went to buy hair dye and I swear if my son wasn't with me it would have taken me a couple of hours. I wasn't like this before the cog issues started. I don't trust my own judgment anymore. That can really make you lose confidence in yourself.

[Blessings2You]

"The fog comes on little cat feet...and then moves on."

[SandyC]

Trish

[FinLady]

Sorry to hear about this.

Totally understand what you're talking about. Cog issues is one of the reasons I left the workforce.

I have had more "D'oh!" moments than I'm comfortable with. Can't tell ya how many times I forgot stuff in the washer recently. I have gotten into the habit of repeating aloud the chores I need to do.

Sometimes I have to turn around and go home instead of the planned errands when I find that paying attention to the road is hard.

Adamentine may be a good deal. I couldn't handle it since it actually made my fatigue and cog issues worse, but a lot of others have had good success with it. Due to all my fun with the fatigue meds, I've had to use the supplement acteryl-cartine (sp?). It helps sometimes.

Let us know what the neuropsych says.