Stellatum,

I completely agree with you...I think that it's just the way some people look at things. They feel that if something bad happens to someone, they must have earned it, otherwise life must be really unfair. I think that it's hard for people to compromise 'fair' with creationism at times...I know that I do too...I definately went through a weird stage like this when my speech was deteriorating...I had other sx before that, but I just couldn't handle the speech thing as it affected my livelyhood, being able to socialize...and I've always been a self-conscious person, so I felt utterly embarassed by this illness....Anyway, I went through months and months of being petrified that I was going to die (also had a thymoma, and was scared of the things i was reading about it), and 'this is so unfair, how can this be,' and all that stuff...I still feel like that at times, but i feel like it's run its course (that stage, I mean)...I think that there are stages we all go through when we're faced with a chronic disease like this that impacts us so much...i'm getting used to it, as much as I resisted, and that's okay...There's still plenty I can do...I can still be happy...And there's always the hope that things will get even better...Imagine 30 or so years ago when this was considered an almost fatal illness?

Allen,

That's great that your friends are coming around...I completely empathise with your feelings of being depressed and down constantly...Many friends and acquaintances would ask me to go out, and I would always say no...i just felt miserable...When I was around people, I looked miserable too (hard to hide, also couldn't make good facial expressions lol!), and I could feel them kinda wanting to not be around me...The good ones understand what you're going through, and give you space when you need it, like you say.

Nicky