I got my handicapped parking permit today. This is a big deal for me. It's not that I couldn't get along without it, though it will certainly be a big help; instead, I think it's something psychological.

Many of us had trouble getting a diagnosis (and some of us still don't have one). Some of us have been suspected of being a basket-case of some sort. For most of us, the disease is not only invisible but variable, which is unusual as far as chronic neuromuscular diseases go! Even with the permit, I'm going to look suspicious, because I often walk normally into a store (it's getting back to the car that's the problem!).

It took me months to get myself to ask the doctor to fill out the form. I was afraid he'd say, "Well, I don't really think you need this..." That would have been devastating to me, if the one person who should be expected to actually know about myasthenia didn't get it.

I'm just saying all of this out loud (so to speak) because before I can overcome these feelings of illegitimacy, I have to put my finger on what they are, exactly, and where they come from. This forum is a huge help! Thanks, everyone, for all your support so far. It does wonders for me to be able to say, "All the myasthenics I know on-line say..." or "Everyone on the forum goes through this..." It's a huge help.

So, I intend to boldly park where I never parked before, and not give it a second thought.

Abby