Quote:
Originally Posted by alice md
First, I am very fortunate to work with an amazing team of people.
Second, people noticed (in fact the head of my department realized something was abnormal before I was ready to admit to myself that I am not just a bit overworked and tired).
Third, explaining this illness to someone who has not experienced it, is nearly impossible. I got used to people thinking that I am depressed (after seeing myself in the mirror I realized why they thought so), anxious (it's very hard not to sound very excited about what you are talking when you can hardly breath while you talk) or even one of my patients asked me why I ran 8 flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator.
Also, people like to have something to talk about, and me and my illness was apparently a very "juicy" topic. Mostly that some of my treating neurologists thought it was just fine to discuss their thoughts and opinions with my colleagues. (They seemed to think that patient confidentiality does not apply when the patient is a physician).
I had times when I would just say that I think I am very sane, considering the fact that I am such a "crazy" person.
I had to learn to deal with remarks such as-some people work and some people have time to relax or do research; I had to accept that some of my accomplishments will not be understood or appreciated. (although, some surprisingly were much more than I have realized).
I had to get used to people criticizing the way I deal with my illness. I had to get used to everyone giving me their advise. (some was useful, but most was-you should have more hobbies, you should exercise more, you need to be more determined etc etc. )
But, I learned to find the core of what was truly important, concentrate on that and mostly ignore the rest. With time, those around me also learned to accept me the way I am and respect the way I have found to live with my illness.
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Alice, indeed, the unsolicited advice must be very hard to take. I guess I should prepare myself and rehearse some pleasant canned replies to end those conversation quickly and gracefully. Luckily, for me I spend most of my time in my cubicle analyzing requirements for information technology designs. I intend to pay more attention to scheduling my day. Attending back to back meetings does fatigue me and the strain is very apparent in my voice.
I guess it will just take time for me and everyone else to adjust to my situation. Thanks for the guidance, kathie