Sure is nice to get replies from you guys - means alot to a newbie...
5 years ago I was the one that was helping others.....involved with youth groups in church bands, spending time with the lonely elderly folks, playing guitar at nursing homes....etc.... and NOW i feel so pathetic and useless and the depression cloud takes over.....One of the hardest things to try and figure out is WHERE did i go WRONG??? I just dont' understand what happened!
Alot of people have SOME medical issue to attribute their pain to, but for the life of me I just don't get it!!
My apologies for sounding like a crybaby....

Thank you Broken Wings (perfect title --wish I'd thought of it first ha)
you give good input Re: treatment options that get away from medical mainstream.....I'm wondering if the LED and infrared lites is the same as "ChromoTherapy". I did that for awhile....quite a few sessions actually....It's where you lay under different colored lighting depending on what is being targeted.... tried acupunture.....holistic meds and treatments... chiropractors, herbal cocktails galore ..... I could give Yoga a good shot...haven't done that...

Believe me, 2 yrs ago when i first was told about spinal cord stimulator implant i laughed it off and said i would NEVER consider something that seemed so 'radical'.......but here i am......
Can't keep taking hardcore meds forever.....eventually liver/kidneys will wear out. I recently had to take a bunch of "Milk Thistle" and cut way back on the acetaminaphen products to get my liver enzymes back down. That sure was a wake up call.
Anyway, i just want to thank u for making me feel welcome
I come from a small town and nobody seems to 'get it'. It's just too hard to comprehend. I don't want to seem like I'm looking for attention, so i basically just hide away in my room watching the days go by. I've turned all of my friends away with one excuse after another because it's just too hard to say 'I hurt'. Boo hoo. I can't believe what this had turned me into.

My heart goes out to every single person on this forum because THIS is where people 'GET IT'. Everyone here has struggles. Someday i hope to be more of a 'helper' rather than a 'whiner'...... meanwhile.... i'll look around the forum....
God Bless
Rae