[Windyrain]

I was in two, non-fault accidents in ten months- The first accident, I was diagnosed with RSD after a severe sprain and fracture-- The second accident, I was rear ended by a speeder and it seemed to amplify the RSD pain- I was disgnosed with RSD in 01 of 2009- So I am new to this disease- As for medication, I am currently on Clonzepam, Atavin, oxycodone, 10-325, which I want off desperately, tried Nueuronton, Tamadol, other medications in which I forgot the names- And 18 lower lumbar injections-

EMG's are factual to hold a high false negitive- It won't show nerve damage so in my opinion, anyone that has RSD, should not have this test! I just had it- Reason being--- I was in a car accident and received back and shoulder injuries- I got an EMG to detect nerve damage in my back but when I told them that they were about to attach all these electrodes to my RSD leg, they said, don't worry- Not to mention the pain as I screamed, clutching both sides of the mattress during the EMG- I wanted to bop the nurse over the head with the pillow! For I have a low threshhold for pain-

Now, all of the sudden, it feels as if my calf muscle was pulled- Never felt this before- I can barely walk- Everything that I do is in pain- Learned how to take my mind off of the pain with occupying my mind with TV or music and writing- Writing is very cathertic! It's now dealing with the mental aspect of having this disease- I also have 3 small children- 10-8-6. Wanting to play with them is like being a dog on a leash being pulled back, further and further away- Extremely heartbreaking-

I cry all the time because I ask myself why did this happen to me? Why did someone crash into the back of me? Why did I walk to the store instead of driving? I had the key to my car in my hand and I shut the door to walk to the store- That was when I rolled my ankle and fractured it- I am angry- Frustrated- Sad- Depressed- But like I said, writing about it helps some- I can't dance anymore! I used to dance when I cleaned- I used to dance with my father when a good tune would come on the radio- The most simplest of tasks can no longer be done without being in pain- And now with this calf thing, I am walking as if I am walking like an elderly person and I am only 39-

When I was able bodied, I took advantage of a lot of things- When these thing are no longer at your finger tips you realize how important they really were!!!!!