Hello everybody,

I'm thankful to have a forum where I can search for answers and share.

This past September (2009), I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist with temporal lobe epilepsy. I believe the tip off was that I do experience auras of de ja vu that involve beautiful shapes and colors. He prescribed Tegretol until my neurologist got a little P.O'd at the psychiatrist and told me to discontinue the drug. Over the summer and fall the neurologist did many tests including, MRI, emg eer ver, ambulatory eeg, sleep study and blood tests. Needless to say I was exhausted and wanted the results immediatly no more tests!! But the usual they all came back 100% and I feel as though my problems remain elusive and untreated.

"Forced thoughts" <---What does this mean exactly? I have thoughts that are intrusive and cloud and fill my mind until my own thinking is passive. I feel I cannot express true feelings of myself and ocassionally lie or simply act completely counter to my intuitive sense of self. There is almost a paranoid fear that "pushes" my actions and exhausts my mental state.

All my emotions are muted by the loud pain and singular negative emotion that comes on the left side of my head. Even trying to be positive seems like a put on.

My sleep is completely messed up and has been since the mid 90's, I never wake up feeling refreshed or clear.

As for hypergraphia, I always drew during both manic states and confused tired states, but I'm not sure if this is normal creative expression or a symptom of TLE.

The biggest obstacle to getting proper treatment seems to be insurance to see a neuropsychiatrist for more than a consultation.

If you have any comments please submit them! Thanks!