[surgery sceptic]

Hi
I am a new member here and am desperately hoping for some feedback. I am a little suspicious and anxious that after managing back pain for nearly 7 yrs reasonably ok, nerve compression (foraminal stenosis l5/S1) is getting the better of me. My MRI reads like this:

loss of disc space L5/S1
disc dessication (minor) T12/L1
schmorls's node T12 (inferior endplate)
schmorl's nodes L1/L2 superior endplate
L4/L5 broad based annular disc bulge
left paracentral protusion midly deforms thecal sac
mild degenerative changes right side facet joint L4/L5
L5/S1 broad based osteophyte (more left sided)
mild facet joint degeneration
thickening of ligamentum flavum/left foraminal narrowing
L5 nerve contacted posteriorly and disc osteophyte anter inferiorly
mild narrowing right side foraminal zone, effacement of fat surrounding exiting right side nerve but not compressed

it seems a lot is going on, but I am guessing I could rule more than half of it out as normal wear and tear and easily manageable, would I be correct in guessing this?

My neuro wants to do ADR and fusion and says upper discs may also need adr in 5-7yrs

I would love to know if I can get away with just a laminectomy or (options?) to relieve the nerve so I can get back on my feet and just 'deal' with the rest through non invasive methods like P/T, posture, etc

I am going for a second opinion with a ortho surgeon but I am afraid that as these guys are all surgery based, surgery is what they will suggest. My P/T will not touch me anymore, 5 mths of osteo treatments did not work and i have had 2 yrs of pilates, yoga walking swimming etc which put me into worse pain and needing constant (weekly) treatment sessions! interestingly the pilates was the worst to induce pain and inflammation. I suspect the T12/L1 is the 'root'cause of my back pain and no one has suggested this? can anyone explain the normal from the abnormal and the what needs to be addressed and how (surgery/non surgery type treatments needed) I would dearly love to have someone who can read these results from a lay persons point of view!!
PLEASE HELP, I am a 38yr old mum of 4 young children who need me and I cannot stay on my feet to meet their needs, back surgery seems to promote more back pain and does not always seem to be the right answer.

Thankyou

Michelle