[gabbycakes]

Is there a Cancer section on this site? I have been a member of the RSD section for years and have had found great info. on this site. My husbands mother has serious lung cancer which his father just passed of the same thing a year ago. I want to do the best for my mother in law she is a wonderful women and truly hate to see her suffer. She is a difficult patient in the sense that she things she knows better then her doctors, she just doesn't listen. She is extremely smart was a payroll manager for 25 years for a very large company of 2000 employess, so she is not stupid. Any info. would be appreciated. PLEASE ALL WHO SMOKE TRY AND QUIT, THIS IS THE 4 RELATIVE WHO HAS PASSED FROM LUNG CANCER.

[MelodyL]

Originally Posted by gabbycakes

Is there a Cancer section on this site? I have been a member of the RSD section for years and have had found great info. on this site. My husbands mother has serious lung cancer which his father just passed of the same thing a year ago. I want to do the best for my mother in law she is a wonderful women and truly hate to see her suffer. She is a difficult patient in the sense that she things she knows better then her doctors, she just doesn't listen. She is extremely smart was a payroll manager for 25 years for a very large company of 2000 employess, so she is not stupid. Any info. would be appreciated. PLEASE ALL WHO SMOKE TRY AND QUIT, THIS IS THE 4 RELATIVE WHO HAS PASSED FROM LUNG CANCER.

Hi. Welcome to Neurotalks. You sound like a very caring and compassionate person. Your mom in law is very lucky to have you in her life.

I did try and fine a message forum on cancer but I was not able to find one. Perhaps if you searched another website you'll have much better luck.

And you are SO right about the smoking. I lost a dear friend at the age of 58 to lung cancer, another friend at age 53 to lung cancer. Both were heavy life long smokers who thought "it's not going to happen to me".

Both were told by their doctors to quit and both did not listen. It's obviously extemely hard to give this up. I lose my mother to emphyasema 15 years ago. My mother was one of 10 siblings. All had cancer. ALL OF THEM. AND EVERYBODY SMOKED.

I gather that this was the acceptable behavior all those years ago. All I have to do is watch an old Turner Classic movie and everyone is smoking. Even the doctors in hospitals were lighting up.

It's a horrible addiction. And you are right in telling people to STOP SMOKING.

Unfortunately, the majority won't listen. I have a diabetic friend who will not stop. She says "it calms me down". How can I react to that? Nothing I can do.

But the two oddest experiences I had with smokers actually blew me away.

The first was outside of Cornell Medical Center in NYC a few years ago. They have smoking booths (glass cubicles outside the hospital where you can sit and light up).

You have no idea how many doctors and nurses were smoking. I walked up to one and said "may I ask you a question?" and she immediately said "Yes, you want to know why I'm a doctor and I smoke???" I said "well, yes, actually", "you obviously know the dangers". These were her exact words:

"I don't want to gain weight, I'd rather have cancer".

So how does one respond to that? One does not.

And the other experience was at the funeral of one of my friends who died from this disease. Everybody was outside smoking. And they JUST WERE AT HER FUNERAL.

So it's one heck of an addiction, isnt' it??

Hey, if one person reads our posts and decides "I don't need this stuff in my body", and throws out their cigarettes, hey we might have done SOMETHING.

We can only try.

Anyway, you are a very nice person to be helping out your mother-in-law. She sounds like a feisty lady who is not going down quietly.

I wish her the best.

Take care
Melody

[gabbycakes]

Originally Posted by MelodyL

Hi. Welcome to Neurotalks. You sound like a very caring and compassionate person. Your mom in law is very lucky to have you in her life.

I did try and fine a message forum on cancer but I was not able to find one. Perhaps if you searched another website you'll have much better luck.

And you are SO right about the smoking. I lost a dear friend at the age of 58 to lung cancer, another friend at age 53 to lung cancer. Both were heavy life long smokers who thought "it's not going to happen to me".

Both were told by their doctors to quit and both did not listen. It's obviously extemely hard to give this up. I lose my mother to emphyasema 15 years ago. My mother was one of 10 siblings. All had cancer. ALL OF THEM. AND EVERYBODY SMOKED.


It's a horrible addiction. And you are right in telling people to STOP SMOKING.

Unfortunately, the majority won't listen. I have a diabetic friend who will not stop. She says "it calms me down". How can I react to that? Nothing I can do.

But the two oddest experiences I had with smokers actually blew me away.

The first was outside of Cornell Medical Center in NYC a few years ago. They have smoking booths (glass cubicles outside the hospital where you can sit and light up).

You have no idea how many doctors and nurses were smoking. I walked up to one and said "may I ask you a question?" and she immediately said "Yes, you want to know why I'm a doctor and I smoke???" I said "well, yes, actually", "you obviously know the dangers". These were her exact words:

"I don't want to gain weight, I'd rather have cancer".

So how does one respond to that? One does not.

And the other experience was at the funeral of one of my friends who died from this disease. Everybody was outside smoking. And they JUST WERE AT HER FUNERAL.

So it's one heck of an addiction, isnt' it??

Hey, if one person reads our posts and decides "I don't need this stuff in my body", and throws out their cigarettes, hey we might have done SOMETHING.

We can only try.

Anyway, you are a very nice person to be helping out your mother-in-law. She sounds like a feisty lady who is not going down quietly.

I wish her the best.

Take care
Melody

Thank you Melody you don't realize how I needed your support it came at a moment the my RSD is flaring horrible because of the heat, we have been running back and fourth to doctors with my mother in law in this heat. I am pretty strong and can take a lot but here I am feeling sorry for myself because I am having a flare I quess I should be lucky it's just a flare.
Thanks again, truly...


gabbycakes

[MelodyL]

Originally Posted by gabbycakes

Thank you Melody you don't realize how I needed your support it came at a moment the my RSD is flaring horrible because of the heat, we have been running back and fourth to doctors with my mother in law in this heat. I am pretty strong and can take a lot but here I am feeling sorry for myself because I am having a flare I quess I should be lucky it's just a flare.
Thanks again, truly...


gabbycakes

Hi Gabbycakes.

Read my new post that I just did about Flare-ups. You'll have a laugh.

And we need to laugh and smell the Rose petals.

lol,

Take care of yourself. Melody

[(Broken Wings)]

I lost my father to lung cancer in Sept 2006. I was sad.

Just hug your mother-in-law and tell her how much she's meant to you.

Comfort is what she needs now.

My heart goes out to you and your family. It's not a good thing to have to give a loved one up. Each loss is a tremendous loss to the family circle

[Rrae]

There is Cancer mentioned as a sub-forum to Women's Health, (Cervical, Ovarian, Uterus), But that isn't related to your circumbstance...
There's the 'Caregivers' Forum....

By the Way, i understand completely where you're at.....
I've stood by my bestfriend's mom during her 5yr long battle w/lung ca.
She was so brave and determined and followed all the instructions to a T from her Dr's.....i drove her to many of her appts and such.
She had quit smoking 20 yrs ago !
Since then, her main hobby was pottery and she worked in road constructions in the mountains of Colorado.

Her last days (at home with the hospice 'kit') were very sad for everyone.
Thank God for the hospice. I really REALLy want to tip my hat to ANYone who's been involved with voluntary hospice carework!

Anyway, there's no way we'll ever really 'pin down' her exact 'cause' of cancer. Yes she smoked. But had quit 20 yrs prior.
We can only 'assume' maybe the dusty conditions of her work and the 'fine' dust involved in her pottery work..... ? .....

Well, anyway, Gabby, you bring up a good point and it wouldn't hurt to send in a post requesting a forum specific to cancer, i dunno. The Forum Feedback is always open for comments and new ideas.

There are so many types of cancer. I work for a wonderful Radiation Oncologist Dr. The team of folks in his department are absolutely wonderful.

Right now, we are preparing to say 'goodbye' to one of my favorite Aunt's, only 63 yrs old. She's battled a rare form of lymphoma (started only a year ago) and it has taken over. It's so sad. She has had numerous different health conditions all her life, but she has always been the 'livliest' woman out of everyone. Always cooking for events....never forgot ANY of the relative's special days (B-days, Weddings, Anniversary's, etc) always sent cards and notes to us all.

For now tho, I would post what you've shared on the 'Caregiver's' Forum.....
Other's will certainly chime in.
Actually, i was just thinking of starting a new thread regarding my Aunt, but I'm not sure if i should post it under caretaker's or 'Coping with Grief...'...
.....I think i'll post my question on "Coping with grief and Loss...."

We're here for ya, wherever you DO post, if you just want or need to 'talk',
I, for one, completely empathize where you're at and would be more than willing to talk (i need it for 'me' as well)

Caring
Rae

[gabbycakes]

Originally Posted by Rrae

There is Cancer mentioned as a sub-forum to Women's Health, (Cervical, Ovarian, Uterus), But that isn't related to your circumbstance...
There's the 'Caregivers' Forum....

By the Way, i understand completely where you're at.....
I've stood by my bestfriend's mom during her 5yr long battle w/lung ca.
She was so brave and determined and followed all the instructions to a T from her Dr's.....i drove her to many of her appts and such.
She had quit smoking 20 yrs ago !
Since then, her main hobby was pottery and she worked in road constructions in the mountains of Colorado.

Her last days (at home with the hospice 'kit') were very sad for everyone.
Thank God for the hospice. I really REALLy want to tip my hat to ANYone who's been involved with voluntary hospice carework!

Anyway, there's no way we'll ever really 'pin down' her exact 'cause' of cancer. Yes she smoked. But had quit 20 yrs prior.
We can only 'assume' maybe the dusty conditions of her work and the 'fine' dust involved in her pottery work..... ? .....

Well, anyway, Gabby, you bring up a good point and it wouldn't hurt to send in a post requesting a forum specific to cancer, i dunno. The Forum Feedback is always open for comments and new ideas.

There are so many types of cancer. I work for a wonderful Radiation Oncologist Dr. The team of folks in his department are absolutely wonderful.

Right now, we are preparing to say 'goodbye' to one of my favorite Aunt's, only 63 yrs old. She's battled a rare form of lymphoma (started only a year ago) and it has taken over. It's so sad. She has had numerous different health conditions all her life, but she has always been the 'livliest' woman out of everyone. Always cooking for events....never forgot ANY of the relative's special days (B-days, Weddings, Anniversary's, etc) always sent cards and notes to us all.

For now tho, I would post what you've shared on the 'Caregiver's' Forum.....
Other's will certainly chime in.
Actually, i was just thinking of starting a new thread regarding my Aunt, but I'm not sure if i should post it under caretaker's or 'Coping with Grief...'...
.....I think i'll post my question on "Coping with grief and Loss...."

We're here for ya, wherever you DO post, if you just want or need to 'talk',
I, for one, completely empathize where you're at and would be more than willing to talk (i need it for 'me' as well)

Caring
Rae

Once again you folks are always there with the right words. Thank you so much for the support. I will write to the powers at be and suggest a new section for cancer of all kinds thanks for the idea. You might just here from me in the near future as we walk down this hallway again...

Gabbycakes...

[Rrae]

i would love that, Gabbycakes.

i know it would truly help us both....
.....i hope your flare settles down...
....they always come in the worst of times....
i've realized that alot of times, i get a flare immediately after my stress level goes up, or when i'm faced with something very unpleasant.....
....and yes, even the weather. . .
will we EVER get answers!!


Rae

[MelodyL]

Originally Posted by Rrae

i would love that, Gabbycakes.

i know it would truly help us both....
.....i hope your flare settles down...
....they always come in the worst of times....
i've realized that alot of times, i get a flare immediately after my stress level goes up, or when i'm faced with something very unpleasant.....
....and yes, even the weather. . .
will we EVER get answers!!


Rae

Flare-ups???? You want to talk about Flare-ups????

I have just been getting over the WORST TMJ flare-up I have ever experienced in 15 years. And I never knew that stress could cause any kind of flare-ups. You would think I would have learned this.

But 3 weeks ago, I found myself walking the streets (it was July 3rd), in the middle of the HEAT WAVE IN NYC. Temp index was 106. All I wanted to do was find a dentist to PULL MY BACK TOOTH. I knew it was TMJ and it had NOTHING TO DO WITH MY BACK TOOTH. And twice before various dentist had informed me "Melody, it's not your tooth", but when you are throbbing and going nuts and nothing works (nothing short of heavy narcotics) which I am NOT prepared to do at this moment, well believe me, if there had been a dentist opened, I would have marched in and DEMANDED he pull my tooth.

I had been given anti-inflammatories, anti muscle this and advil, aleve, you name it, I took it. THE ONLY THING THAT WORKED WAS ICE. So I stayed in bed for 5 days with ice packs on my jaw and side of my face.

The stressor was my son. Never knew that humans could cause so much stress.

My doctor listened to what was happening and said "It's not your tooth".

My dentist, examined me, listened to what I was going through, checked me thoroughly and announced "you know it's not your tooth, you do know this, you have TMJ (which is horrible at times).

But I never knew that stress could induce flare-ups, etc. And there was my lovely kind compassionate dentist taking the time to listen to me, and explain how stress affects the muscles in the face and jaw, and how these muscles affect the nerves on the side of the face.

I guess it had to be drummed into me that STRESS CAN DO YOU IN.

And the fact that we had this heat wave 3 weeks ago, well it didn't help. He told me the inflammation would pass, AND IT DID. When the weather eased up, my whole face relaxed and I never had to take one of those narcotic pills. Not that there's anything wrong with pain management. If you need to take a pill, you take a pill.

That's why I tried the anti-inflammatories. I took Arthrotek. I thought it would work over night. The pharmacist explained that sometimes it takes weeks for an anti-inflammatory med to work.

Who the heck has WEEKS?

But for me, just knowing that it wasn't the tooth, that it was a tmj flare up, well that took a lot of the anxiety away because I am a dental phobic (even though I have the loveliest phobia dentist who treats me like a human being.

I would NEVER go to another dentist if my life depended on it. This guy is the BOMB. He's a top dental phobia expert.

I'll never forget the first time I went there. I had a broken tooth (it didn't hurt), but I guess I was vain enough to HAVE TO GO.

I knew I needed a special dentist, one that would not think I was nuts for being afraid.

I found this man in NYC. I made the appointment (and they do a cleaning the first time, and they numb you up good with the gel), so that was no big thing.

So I thought I would come back at another time and get the broken tooth fixed.

I didn't think I would have any work done that day.

Little did I know. I brought my whole family with me, because they were my support system.

There they sat in the dentist's waiting room, sipping lovely coffee and tea and just waiting until I was done.

So after my cleaning, they bring me in the next room and do x-rays. Then the dentist walks up to me and says 'Guess what, I had a cancellation today, I'll be doing your crowns, by the way, you need a double crown".

I looked at him and smirked (I really did smirk in a funny way), I said "Aha, you CAN'T do my teeth today because I have mitral valve prolapse and I need antibiotics, SO THERE!!!.

He starts laughing and opens his hand and says "oh, I know all about you, here's the two pills, take them and we'll wait a bit"

I just looked at him, and gulped and said "you really are going to do this today, but I have to get the Access a ride and that will be in 90 minutes and YOU CAN'T DO THIS TODAY!!!

He just smiled and said "Everything I do is by appointment and it's all arranged.Someone else cancelled, I have the time, and believe me you will make your Access-a-ride.

So I'm waiting for all the syringes and I knew I would faint, and he brings out this new gadget. It's the WAND.

No more injections. Look it up and you'll see what phobia guys use on people like me. Actually he uses it on everyone I believe. It's a pain free way to get completely numb.

Worked like a charm. Never felt a thing.

My anxiety, my stress has caused me all this nonsense all of my life.

I really don't want it to kill me, or cause me any more pain.

So for all of my nervous nellie buddies out there who have stress in their lives, or who are facing hard stuff, just know that you are not alone.

From time to time, we have to face a lot of stuff. It affects our bodies, not just out minds.

I have promised myself to take time for myself and treat myself with respect and care.

Because honestly, who is going to take care of me if I DON'T??

We spend so much time caring for others, we forget about us.

So (and this is for the ladies), whenever you get an hour or two, take yourself down to your local nail salon and get a pedicure.

The other day I did just that. She sprinkles Rose Petals in the Water. Do you know how soothing this is? The whole experience is de-stressing.

And we need to de-stress.

Didn't mean to hijack this thread but I just wanted you to know that we have to take the time to smell the ROSE PETALS.

lol

melody

[azoyizes]

Hi, and welcome to NT! This is such a great place with many helpful, caring, and friendly people.

We're so glad you found us!

I'm so sorry about your father-in-law, and I am sorry that your mother-in-law is going through this.

My husband had a kidney removed Jan 09 and six months later they found tumors in his lungs. They've tried him on one chemotherapy, and he's just started the second chemotherapy. For metastatic kidney cancer, they have four chemotherapies, and that's it. It's incurable, so he's going to have to remain on chemo the rest of his life. It is so very scary, and I know what you're going through.