[justired]

Hello,

My name is Debbie and this is a brief explanation of why I'm here:

I had a very unhappy childhood, some things happened I won't go into. Not to mention a mother who was verbally abusive and so I did not have a safe person to turn to.

I became a young mother - 3 children now 26, 21 and 20. Married 21 years to a wonderful man who can still be aggravating at times. They are the reason I am still here.

The first time I tried to commit suicide I was around 13 years old. I also tried twice in my early twenties. I battled alcoholism for many years but have now been sober over 8 years.

They thought I just suffered from depression earlier on but the anti-depressants seemed to just make me worse. When I sobered up I was finally diagnosed with severe bipolar. Since then I have been hospitalized around 8 times I think - it gets a bit foggy. Mostly put in the hospital for being suicidal and self-harm. It makes me ashamed to even write all this down.

I've been on the medicine merry-go-round for many years. Most of the time I believe I was over-medicated. Almost lost my job because I could barely function. Now I do ECT every 2 weeks along with a few medicines which don't fog my brain too much.

I recently came off my seroquel completely - it had been about a 8 month journey. I got off the depakote and topamax faster. When I quit the seroquel completely I crashed. My ECT doc thought an extra session might help. It just made me unable to thing. Couldn't remember a darn thing.

About this time I was desperate. I searched online and found you all. Now I'm back on a low dose of seroquel, Elavil and Lithium. And, still the ECT (dang it).

I'm beginning to come out of it I thing. Got so low I really wanted to give up. Like I said, my family keeps me going at times like that. Got frustrated with my husband though (won't bore you with that too).

Wow! I can't believe I said all that. I'm sorry if I bored anyone or gave too much information. But it sure felt good to get it all out.

Thank you for being here and thank you to those who thought to start this and keep it going. You helped to save my life.

Debbie

[RobinM]

Welcome Debbie!

It is great to see you here.

There are a couple of things in your post I would like to comment on....

I battled alcoholism for many years but have now been sober over 8 years.

Absolutely brilliant!

I myself have had this problem for a while so I can appreciate how well you have done.

It makes me ashamed to even write all this down.

Don't EVER feel ashamed, what you should feel is proud. Your other option was to bottle it all up, let it all fester and ruin your life. But you didn't do that, did you?

Got so low I really wanted to give up

But you didn't, did you?! This shows a type of character to me that says you have a good bit of fight in you.

I'm sorry if I bored anyone

I am not a regular here, but I think I can speak for everyone... your post was NOT boring in the least. The members here are a great bunch from all areas. But the one fundamental thing we have in common is that 'if we can' we will try to help. (or even just share similar experiences and listen)

Take care,

Robin

[MelodyL]

Hi Debbie:

Just wanted to say Welcome. And your post is absolutely NOT BORING.

Boy, you have been through it all haven't you?

I read, in your post, that you do ECT every 2 weeks.

Are you referring to Electroconvulsive Therapy?

They can give you this every 2 weeks?

I never knew this.

I thought this was something that people do once in their lives for depression.

Oh My goodness. you certainly educated me today.

Anyway, GREAT JOB on being sober.

I have a friend who is just now quitting and she's been sober for 5 days.

I commend you immensely for overcoming lots of negative things in your life.

Keep posting on whatever forums you find helpful.

Take care and again, WELCOME!!!

Melody

[NurseNancy]

hi debbie. welcome to NT. i'm glad you found us.
this is a great forum for info and support. i think you will find everyone here that will support you.

you have been thru so much. i think you're very courageous and brave. to have come thru it all takes great strength. that is to be admired.

look around at some of the forums. there will be several that may fit your needs. someone will be around soon to give you some links.

good luck to you.

[Rrae]

..................

Thank you for sharing 'YOU'
We're all in this together.....

We'll all somehow find that our 'New Day' is right around the corner.....

So glad you are here....

Rae

[(Broken Wings)]

That was a lot to share. Thanks for allowing us to be a part of that release.

You are a strong-willed person. We all wish you the best and no one here wants you to suffer any!!!! We do understand.

Sometimes you just have to reach out and grab a good thing or two along the way, okay? Do something nice for yourself. You do deserve it.

A good mother would have made a big difference in your life, so you've done pretty good for yourself. I'll bet you're a good mother. That's something to be proud of.

This is a great place to share and not be critized for it. We're here for you...

[justired]

Wow! Thank you so much for what you said Broken Wings. I can't even put into words how much you all have helped me in just the few days I've been around this forum.

Debbie