[LostInCentralTexas]

First off, forgive me if a ramble as my brain seems to not function to well anymore and I rarely, if ever, get the chance to actually talk to someone about what is going on inside my head.

The "diagnosis" list: AIDS, HCV, Type 1 Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar, Severe Anxiety, Severe Depression, and ADD. I think that is the list. Sometimes I forget all of them. I think the later diagnosis are related to the first as when that one got so bad back in 2007 is when all of the later came onto the scene but try and tell a doctor and get him to believe you.

I've had AIDS for 18 years now. For the majority of the time I did just fine and dandy. My counts got VERY bad back in 2007, that is when I was first diagnosed with severe anxiety. Then in order of diagnosis, Bi-Polar, Depression, ADD, and Type 1 rapid cycling. My rapid cycling can be as many as 8 - 10 times a day.

There are many days when I just feel like I have totally lost my mind and live in my own personal little void. I take 5 different psycotropic meds from Depacote ER (2000mg a day) to Vyvanse (60mg) and 3 other mood stabilizers in between. I HATE this "void" I feel like I live in. I've basically lost most all of my friends and the one person in the world I could talk to, my mom, passed away last summer. I have threatened to kill myself and got dragged in handcuffs to the hospital. I self admitted into treatment but all they did was keep me knocked out the entire time so I checked out of there. I just feel so completely lost and alone all of the time now. I'm glad to have found this board as maybe I can make some sense out of all my craziness.

[cally]

Hello lost in texas its ok to fill crazy sometimes i know i do an there are lots of great people here to talk to when your lonely or blue or have questions an me to

[Abbie]

Hello LostinCentralTexas
and
WELCOME to Neurotalk!!!

Please pull up a chair, kick off your shoes, and stay a while!
Feel free to roam around the forums and join in anywhere!!

Here are a few forum links that may help you find your way around...

• Bipolar Disorder
  • http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum38.html

• Anxiety and OCD
  • http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum50.html

• Depression
  • http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum37.html

If you need any help or have any questions please don't hesitate to ask! Someone will always be along shortly to help you in any way that we can.

I look forward to seeing you around the board!

Abbie

[Darlene]

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Happy to see you have come to be with us. Just let us know if we can be of any help.

As you can tell there are a great and caring number of members here to assist you. Our shoulders are here for support in many ways. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene

[MelodyL]

Hi. Sorry to hear what you have been through. I can tell you that suicide is not the answer. My son has been doing this for 9 years (threatening, checking into psych wards, checking himself out), He has done this as recently as one week ago. It really affects a family, I can tell you that.

You have so much on your plate, I am so sorry for you.

Have you ever gone to groups and entered into discussions with other people going through the same thing? I gather that you must have given your diagnosis. My son refuses to go to any groups saying they are BORING.

Sometimes boring and quiet is GOOD.

I can only wish you well and hope you work things out.

Take care of yourself