I don't know where to start or what I'm going to do. Hello everyone from a very confused soul.

I keep wondering why I even wake up, except that I know it is time for another round of pain medications.

This started last November and it has been sheer agony after my low back fusion.

I have pain and weakness everywhere and a new friend, his name is cane.

Four doctors of varying degrees, two of which want pain pump and two that want one or two stimulators.

Five back surgeries and now I'm on disability again. Extreme saddle burning, neck pain and the feeling of impailment in the sacrum. Any ideas or thoughts would be sooooo welcome. I'm even toying with oral medication, as I am scared to death of any further surgery. Fusion taught me what real pain is.