[sadlyme]

First time posting, so bear with me. So many sad stories here I don't know where to start myself. 6/23/88 I had a crushing blow to my right leg. Which in my eye's my life stopped and has been held there. Before I go on I WAS a type A person, you could'nt stop me if you tried. I was envoled in my commuity, chruch, family to the max. I at one time LOVED life. Not that way anymore. I don't want you to think this is a pitty party cause it's not. I'm just laying it out there for ya. After 8 operations a major staff infection which led to RSD. I could handle the pain, but the manic deperssion has consumed my life, I can't fix. I've been in the physc ward twice in two years. They say I'm Bi-Polar. Does your body just throw a switch and say you have a mental problem?

I've been thru four p-doc's, I think there more crazy than I. One of them told me when I was down and out, think of the movie Star Wars and how Luke Sky Walker commuicated wit R3CPO, telepahy, OK I said. He said concentrate on the person I wanted to call and they would.. Right!

I'm at my witts end, I truly feel if I unpluged myself from the problem my family would be much better off. I'm a burden to everyone..

I'm on the standrd meds for bi-polar, there not working.. So there's my plite, lookin for answers, lookin for my life again..

[Chemar]

hi sadlyme

I am so sorry to hear of the way things have changed in life for you

do introduce yourself to the members on our BiPolar forum as they are a really supportive and helpful group

here is the link
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=38

[Idealist]

It's very nice to meet you. I am glad you found this site, and I hope you use it to the fullest to help with your problems. What you are feeling is not an unusual thing. I know that many times I have felt like I've become a totally negative force in the world, and that the best thing I could do for everyone else would be to "unplug myself".

It's so hard when the pain just goes on and on, with no visible end. Everyone treats you differently, whether they mean to or not. But I hope you can still see yourself as a living, breathing human being who is part of this world. You are special because you are unique, and I hope you remember that always.

I think that often the physical misery does flip a switch in your mind. One of my doctors told me once that he doesn't see how a person could be in pain for years at a time and not have serious pychologic repercussions from it. It made a lot of sense to me, and changed how I looked at myself. If you ever need to talk about your experience, or how awful it makes you feel inside, then please do so. I truly believe that it helps. You can post on any forum here, or if you wish to keep something more private there are members you can send a PM to, and who would gladly give whatever help they can. That includes me as well. I wish you all the best wishes I have, and I really hope you can find a way to come to terms with who you are now. That is so important.

Good Luck To You!
Idealist

[sadlyme]

Wanted to say thanks, it was like you had read my mind. That has been along time coming, sit down and try to explain that to a doctor. Like you said there's no way a person can be in that much pain. You bet you can.
After reading thru the forums I think I found a home. Everyone just tells it like it is, no suger coating. I don't need that, I want the heart of the matter..