[Petitelady]

Hello I am a new member for support as a caregiver for my husband. I have been caring for my husband since the car accident in 11/2007. He was backing out of a drive way from doing appraisal and a big truck t boned the passenger side. He had to be life lined to penn state Hershey medical center. He had a severe head trauma and was unconscious for three months. The Doctor had to put in a trachea to help him breath. He was transferred to health south for intense therapy. He had a feeding tube because he was paralyzed on his left side. He had to learn to walk, talk, and eat. I had to transfer my dining room into a bedroom with a hospital bed before he was able to come home. He came home in March 2008. I went from working full time to part time to take care of him. A nurse would come in and take care of him while I was at work. It has been very stressful and I emotional support from his sister and my family. I just started back to work full time in June 2012. I sleep upstairs in my own bedroom. I don't have a marriage because we do not have any sexual relationship. He is always in pain and takes pain medication. Also he cannot stoop down to get in the refrigerator and is not too sturdy when he walks. He also had problems with his arms with extended movement. My heart goes out to him and I love him dearly. I sometimes wonder why I am being punished. It just don't seem fair to him and myself. We can't go dancing and enjoy the beach like before his accident. I miss the way it was before the accident. I admire my friends that does things with there husbands and wish I could be like them. It gets very lonely and I try to keep myself busy. I just need a male friend to talk too. I met a male nurse when I was hospitalized for a perforated ulcer. He was so nice to talk too. I went back to give him a thank you card and candy. He remembered me and thank me for the candy. I told him I enjoyed talking to him it was like I knew him forever. I asked about being friends but I guess it would not be appropriate since we both are married. He just kind of chuckled and said he could give me a hug. He hugged me and said god bless. I felt so stupid after I left. I feel like something is wrong with me.