Hi Jana,

Please never be concerned with responding here. Your daily life takes priority!

I am sorry things have again escalated.

I understand you are hoping your husband will see his doctor soon. I will hope for this along with you.

It also sounds like you are thinking about some boundaries and the future for you and for your son, should your husband not seek help.

Many women find the idea of going to school and re-entering the work force an idea which evokes some anxiety. It's entirely understandable.
There may be some helpful programs to assist you should you need to take these steps?

You have noticed your son is more easily upset now? Tension at home is usually felt by children and can be very upsetting and confusing. When one parent leaves the home for an extended period, children become very concerned about losing the remaining parent as well. This may be some of why your son does not want you to leave him at school. Please reassure him he is not the cause of any conflict and also reassure him that you will never leave him. It must break your heart to see your son so upset?

Your psychologist has been away, will she return soon?

I am trying to recall (sorry) about family and friends for support?

You have acknowledged that you know you need stability in the home in order to continue to move ahead with life. I find this is true for me, as well. It's very difficult to attend to tasks and to move forward when there is ongoing emotional turmoil or chaos.

In time...You will see if your husband seeks help or not. You will think some more about the needs of both you and of your son. You will ponder the possibilities of thriving in life, no matter what your husband decides. You will start to come to grips with whatever must occur in order to restore your home environment to a stable, healthy, peaceful, loving home. Only you know what is best.

I hope, along with you, your husband will consult his physician.

You are doing your best. You are handling this situation well.
Please continue to keep your son and yourself safe.

It's good to hear you and your son are safe and are as well as can be expected under the circumstances.

May Love surround you, your son and your husband. May the path become clearer, in peace. May rest and healing come your way.

Warmly,
DejaVu

Hi Dejavu
Thanks again for your reply and so much support and sorry for the late reply myself.
It has been a very emotional last few weeks as I just cant seem to have my husband understand my boundaries and why I need to put them in place. He seems to think that if I trust in him we will be fine but he just cant see how his actions are taking a toll on us and my health is starting to fail on me I am so tired all the time just drained. He continues to threaten me with meeting friends and teachers etc but because I know how he reacts Im worried it may cause more problems for me and our son but at the same time I feel its wrong to keep him shut out of our lives but its the only way I can protect us and the relationships that we have made. I don't want us to be left alone again. On fathers day (last weekend) my son sent him a happy fathers day msg he wrote back whats that supposed to mean? in the end it was a mix up in communication and he thought it was me being sarcastic, problem is but why? we saw each other just the day before and his son gave him some fathers day gifts and work he did at school ( he liked the gifts but not what he did at school) he thinks the students/ teacher was trying to make him look bad... other than that we had a pretty good day. it ended well enough but he did ask me to find out who helped our son with the writing. I could tell he was overthinking it and probably continued to think about it the next morning and that's why he reacted badly to the msg. but it is just very hard for us to deal with. my son was upset I was upset and had to try really hard to pick things up so we could enjoy our day but it is very tiring for us. Ive only just started to feel better now but its taken over a week. he is still not seeking help but is trying to stop drinking. he also has a very loud ringing in his head but since all the docs have cleared him of anything to do with the aneurysm he has decided he is going to have to just live with it. I don't think he will be going back to the docs anytime soon.

yes my psychologist is away till October so I have to wait quite a while before I see her again. Ive put studies on hold as school holidays begin next week and it wouldn't be the right time for me to take on more challenges. hopefully next term Ill get the courage up to do this course and start building a new future for me and our son.
Yes I think my son is very much affected by all of this and he is trying so hard to be strong as well. I am glad his school work is still up to date and hes not falling behind hes excited for the holidays to come and we had a nice relaxing weekend so I think it has helped him a lot to just have that peace.

Thanks again for all your support and kind words means so much and helps me get through.
God bless XXX