[Ornate Design]

Hello everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm gearing back up...again for seeing a doctor and could use some support.

Almost 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar II. At the time I was somewhat happy to learn it was a condition. I've noticed symptoms since my early teens. I went on meds and about 6-8 months into it I was doing great. Quit smoking and everything. But....with meds came side-effects. My doc wrote me another scrip for an additional medicine (one of the digestive sort) and I had one of those moments, "This is ridiculous! They just keep adding. We fix this, and then I can't go to the bathroom. We fix that and I'm up throughout the night going to urinate!" I quit it all and I shouldn't have.

So here I am today, exhausted and tired of being thrown off the merry-go-round of life. Just when things get normal there I go again and it's like I'm standing there wanting to get back on but don't know how. I don't think any of the symptoms I had aren't anything I couldn't be able to deal with now. At least myself and my family would have something more precious than gold. STABILITY.

I have an appointment at the end of this month and am still somewhat un-restful about it. This is where I need the support. I know in my heart I need to do this.

My family is staunch against medication for "mood disorders." It all comes back to 'spiritual'. Yes, I am a Christian and I try to never neglect the spiritual side but.....how can anyone have a steady prayer life when one month they don't want to get out of bed or...they volunteer for something at church they regret later?

I've gone to internet's end to look for 'natural' supplements but there's no such thing for Bi-Polar II. Yes, I learned I could tweak dopamine or seratonine with supplements but then it hit me, "I need to be stable!!" and that's been something I've coming to accept. Everyone says, "Try this supplement." I'm honestly sick of the stigma of brain medications. It's just hard sometimes when your family thinks you are making the 'wrong' decision. It angers me actually. My dad said, "When I was younger I was very impulsive and with prayer and growth I've learned to conquer that." Gee-thanks dad. Isn't that most younger people? You know, part of growing up? *sigh* I didn't even mention anything about impulsiveness I'm not ADHD for goodness sake! I just listened and said, "Thanks dad" and hung up.

That's pretty much my story. I've read quite a bit and picked up some great information.

Thank You,
Ornate Design

[Jomar]

Hello and welcome,
Can you just go to the Dr and get the meds without telling your family?
Do they have to know?
Don't let a "sigma" or" bias" keep you from getting the help you need to have a better life.

[Wren]

Hi Ornate Design -- We're glad to meet you.... and I love your name.

[AfterMyNap]

Hi, OD, cool name! Welcome to NeuroTalk, you might benefit from looking at our bipolar forum, there are many there who may know of medications that would help without interfering with your life.

I agree that finding the right treatment is more important than what others think. Your life is yours and to live it, the decisions have to be made by you.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=38

[Snoopy]

Hello Ornate Design and welcome to NeuroTalk.

I believe in better living through chemistry

Any med, even over-the-counter (otc) meds have side affects. Even "natural" supplements can have risks.

Just think how good you could feel to have your mood stablized....again, better living through chemistry.

As far as your family ~ If your on your own then there is no need to discuss your meds with your parents or any other family member unless you want to. If you already know your family is against medication then say nothing to them about it....Just my 2 cents for what it's worth

[Dmom3005]

Hi, the bipolar group would be a great place to come. We are a friendly family and we aren't judgemental.

And honestly I'm a christian too, and many in my famiy go to church and serve on many boards. And many have bipolar of some form.

Donna

[shiney sue]

Only one Mama thing please don't go off your meds without help of a Dr.
Now welcome to NeuroTalk i'm glad you found you way here,to a
non-judgemental family. Please just do what you have to that means
(legal) just get back to a Dr. who will help you with meds. And if
insurance pays for it a therapist helps as well. If not you got a wonderfull
group of people who have been through it here. But no wonder you
feel so rotten and yes i have done it toooo. Just keep posting because
i wonder through all the forums and i hope to see you. Just be yourself
not what others want you to be. I already like ya... Sue

[DM]

Welcome OD! You'll find so much info and advice here.... Glad to meet ya!!!!

[Darlene]

Ornate Design,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. You will find a great deal of people here to assist you they can. Weather it be answering your questions or showing a great deal of comfort and listening ears.

Looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene

[Ornate Design]

Thanks so much everyone. Yea, I don't know what possessed me to tell my dad this. Well I do and probably a good counselor would help as well. I'm somewhat people pleasing and inwardly I think I wanted his stamp of approval. I'm married and mother of two for almost 16 years and still want a fatherly stamp of approval. That's not right. Don't worry though, I'm not going to speak anymore of my decisions about medical concerns to anyone else other than my spouse.

I think the first BIG decision is to accept and realize this is a valid medical condition. I've spent soooo long in denial about it. And I'm actually sad that a first available appt. wasn't available until the end of this month. I've got to pull out of this pit. I feel horrible!

Yes, stupid me stopped all medications at once so the motherly advice will have to pass onto someone else. It was very accurate though and I was whacked out for several months. Almost ruined our vacation last year sadly.

I look forward to posting and getting great info on this site.

Thanks Again Everyone,
Ornate Design