[Ornate Design]

Hello everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm gearing back up...again for seeing a doctor and could use some support.

Almost 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar II. At the time I was somewhat happy to learn it was a condition. I've noticed symptoms since my early teens. I went on meds and about 6-8 months into it I was doing great. Quit smoking and everything. But....with meds came side-effects. My doc wrote me another scrip for an additional medicine (one of the digestive sort) and I had one of those moments, "This is ridiculous! They just keep adding. We fix this, and then I can't go to the bathroom. We fix that and I'm up throughout the night going to urinate!" I quit it all and I shouldn't have.

So here I am today, exhausted and tired of being thrown off the merry-go-round of life. Just when things get normal there I go again and it's like I'm standing there wanting to get back on but don't know how. I don't think any of the symptoms I had aren't anything I couldn't be able to deal with now. At least myself and my family would have something more precious than gold. STABILITY.

I have an appointment at the end of this month and am still somewhat un-restful about it. This is where I need the support. I know in my heart I need to do this.

My family is staunch against medication for "mood disorders." It all comes back to 'spiritual'. Yes, I am a Christian and I try to never neglect the spiritual side but.....how can anyone have a steady prayer life when one month they don't want to get out of bed or...they volunteer for something at church they regret later?

I've gone to internet's end to look for 'natural' supplements but there's no such thing for Bi-Polar II. Yes, I learned I could tweak dopamine or seratonine with supplements but then it hit me, "I need to be stable!!" and that's been something I've coming to accept. Everyone says, "Try this supplement." I'm honestly sick of the stigma of brain medications. It's just hard sometimes when your family thinks you are making the 'wrong' decision. It angers me actually. My dad said, "When I was younger I was very impulsive and with prayer and growth I've learned to conquer that." Gee-thanks dad. Isn't that most younger people? You know, part of growing up? *sigh* I didn't even mention anything about impulsiveness I'm not ADHD for goodness sake! I just listened and said, "Thanks dad" and hung up.

That's pretty much my story. I've read quite a bit and picked up some great information.

Thank You,
Ornate Design