Hi! I would like to share my story

I feel I live in a constant state of unreality. All this started many years ago, when I was just 8 y/o. I'm currently 34.
I went to some girl's birthday, where the parents improvised a disco with strobe lights and loud music. Suddenly I felt dizzy and being in a dreamlike state.
I remember telling my parents this, but as a kid it was very hard to explain.
Months went by and I pondered myself many difficult things for a kid: Am I crazy? Is this a dream? Was it true that I felt different before?
Time went by and no changes whatsoever. I still feel the same today.
It doesn't intensify with anything, it never goes away. It's like a constant thing in the background, no matter how intense the emotions I may feel.
It became a part of my life, but I know it's not right. The small part in me that still remembers, longs for feeling more, to actually feel I'm living.

I have no headaches, no seizures, I'm in very good health otherwise. I have a general positive attitude in life, and never felt depressed for no apparent reason.
I started to look this up, and found derealization and depersonalization as probable candidates.

I would like to know what can it actually be, also if anyone is/knows of a similar case, what kind of therapies are out there, etc.

Anything would be really appreciated!

Hi Unreal,

Welcome to NeuroTalk.

I'm pretty sure that there can be quite a number of reasons for someone to experience depersonalization and/or derealization. [I have experienced it myself at times due to anxiety.] It sounds as if you've been dealing with these feelings for a very long time.

If you've had medical checkups to see if they were seizure related and for other physical causes and they've all come back clear, then if I was in your situation I'd probably ask to speak with a Psychologist about it all. Bear in mind though that there may be physical causes that were never investigated. Certain drugs and medications may also make people feel that way as well - cannabis is just one example.

Migraines can be a factor as well and it doesn't seem to be widely known that not all migraines involve headache. When you say you have no seizures, I wonder if you've ever had investigations such as an EEG.

You could check out the Epilepsy Forum if you like. The members there might have some ideas for you as well.

Sorry to prattle on so much. I hope you find some answers because feeling that way all the time might surely have consequences in the way that you live your life.

take care there.

I sometimes feel this way inbetween meds.
Kinda like a not connected feeling.
Hard to focus and floaty.

I am on a slew of meds tho.
For PD and depression.

God Bless
Jennifer

I sometimes feel like this too... You are not alone
(I also have Depression etc)

Hello Unreal: Yes, I pretty-much always feel this way... sort-of a slightly dizzy, head-in-a-fishbowl feeling. I have most of my life. I'm 68 now. But I can recall, as a young man, mentioning this to a doctor I happened to see. He said it was anxiety. I do now have Meniere's Disease which probably doesn't help. (My head has taken a beating over the years for a variety of reasons starting when I was still a very young child.) But I don't know as Meniere's is the cause either.

I also experience generalized anxiety which I presume is probably the more likely culprit. I'm certainly no expert with regard to any of this. However, my personal perspective would be that if you have a generally positive attitude, do not struggle with depression, & do not have unusually high levels of stress / anxiety, I can't see how depersonalization / derealization could be at the root of your problem. But perhaps I'm just ill-informed. I'm sorry, I'm not aware of any particular therapies that are available to treat something like this. Over the years I've simply learned to live with it.