Hello, thank you for letting me join the forum!

If I can give a quick story of the situation, I think it might paint a better picture of what might be going on. I would really appreciate any help or advise you might have for me. If you take the time to read my story that means a lot.

The TL;DR version is that my doctor just prescribed me Escitalopram (generic for Lexapro), 10mg, but he was in such a hurry to see me and move on to the next patient, I didn't feel confident that he is making decisions with all of the information taken into consideration. Do I just have text book anxiety/depression and I should start taking this SSRI, or could it be something else? Could it be as simple as a vitamin deficiency even?

I am a 39 year old male. I think I have always been kind of anxious/nervious starting all the way back as a kid, and as time goes on I have always been overly stressed. I have a stressful job, we have a 2nd business that my wife and I run that is stressful, and we have 3 kids under 6.

I always had an evening routine of getting home from work, eating dinner with wife, winding down with a few drinks, and going to bed. I would periodically wonder if I'm drinking too much and would cut back occationally. Up until 4 years ago I would say I have not really ever had any anxiety/depression problems. I have always been kind of a hypochondriac and would occationally over stress about health things, but nothing major.

This all started roughly 4 years ago when I got the 2nd Moderna shot. Later that night my ears started to ring, and they have been ringing ever since (tinnitus). I went to the doctors and got a referal to a specialist at an ENT. They said they have started seeing this problem, and that the tinnitus would most likely decrease in volume some, but it most likely will never go away completely. This is the first time I ever experienced anything "perminant", and it really ramped up my anxousness and health anxiety. I have always been paranoid of "what else was damaged and what else is messed up that I don't know about yet."

Fast forward 2 years (now 2 years ago), I was out hiking with my wife and 2 kids. There were a few sketchy steep places that the kids were getting a little too close too. I started imagining what would I do if one of them slipped and fell down the hill. It started to stress me out really bad, and it sent me into this downward existential crisis spiral. On the ride home all I could think about was how I am getting older, I am not where I want to be in life, and what is the point of life - all it is is suffering, getting to watch loved ones get old and pass away, etc. It was super weird and some form of existantial dread. My thoughts were racing and looping over and over. It was very scary. I also was experiencing depersonalization/derealization symptoms, was sobbing when trying to talk to my wife (she has never seen me cry before), it was an absolute distater for 3 days. I have never experienced anything like that before.

I started eating better, started working out again, drastically cut back the drinking in the evenings, and everything seemed to be getting better.

Fast forward 1 more year (now 1 year ago), I did an annual check up with my doctor because of some stomach pain under the right side of my rib cage. My blood work came back that my vitamin D levels were very low at 12, and my liver enzym levels were slightly elevated at like 50. This freaked me out and I had convinced myself that I must have liver cancer and am going to die soon (rediculous I know). This put me back into that anxiety mode. I couldn't sleep, would constantly wake up in the middle of the night and I could feel the surge of adrenaline pump through my body. I actually started to become paranoid that I might be becoming schizophrenic or loosing my mind.

I got an ultrasound and everything was fine. And same as above, I started eating even better, going for morning walks every day, lifting weights, and fixed my vitamin d levels.

I have not been able to completely shake it this time. The most I have been able to feel normal has been just a few days, and then the anxiety/depression/weird mood creeps back in. The ringing in my ears has been having a lot of flare ups. I have been getting a lot of headaches and dizzyness, and this made me paranoid that I might have a brain tumor or something, which further feeds the anxiety. I also started experiencing the depersonalization/derealization stuff again. My therapist told me this is a common anxiety symptom, so I have been doing my best to ignore the headaches, and they have actually gone down some.

To clarify what the "weird mood" means. It feels like I am in a worried/anxious state, and I have the feeling of dread, along with sort of an anhedonia feeling... nothing feels exciting, I have nothing to look forward to, feel lonely and isolated, its a very bad dark feeling.

I have tried taking L-theanine, lemon balm tea, ashwagandha tea, with mixed results - most of the time it does nothing for me.

So far the only thing that has helped, by far, has been taking a magnesium supplement. I was taking 133mg of magnesium glycinate/citrate 3 times a day, for a total of 400mg a day. It only seems to help for like 2-3 hours then seems to "wear off". I considered it might be placebo... but the other things I mentioned above didn't really work, while this did. I have since upped it to 600mg a day.

Now only a month ago, I developed some kind of trembling/shaking symptom. Throughout the entire day, every day, I have the feeling that is similar to when you are shivering because its cold. Or similar to when you drink to much coffee and you are jittery. Sometimes I feel a vibration inside my chest or inside my head - sort of like a cell phone vibration, when I am laying down. If I reach up to grab something off a shelf, the downward movement causes a fairly aggressive tremor. For example, if you position your arms in the chicken dance position, and you move your elbows down, that now causes my arms to shake.

So now I am paranoid about MS/parkinsons/ALS, etc. It is just never ending. The magnesium has helped with the mood issue, but has done nothing for the shaking. If I don't take the magnesium, I start slipping into that weird mood I mentioned above. I have not had a single normal day in a while now.

I have been talking to a therapist, and she believes that I am under a lot of stress, and that its just anxiety. My doctor also just prescribed Escitalopram (generic for Lexapro), 10mg. My doctor was in such a hurry to see me and move on to the next patient, that I didn't feel confident that he is making decisions with all of the information taken into consideration.

As it sits right now, the shaking and the ringing ears are probably contributing the most to my anxiety. Should I just start taking the Escitalopram (Lexapro)? Is this text book anxiety/depression, or could it be something else? I am super worried about my health, and I feel like I have been doing everything I am supposed to be doing for my mental health, but its not working enough.

Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated, and thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Hi, and welcome to the NeuroTalk Support Groups.

I probably can't really offer too much but some things stand out in your post. I have experienced anxiety since I was a young child. It ebbs and flows but it's easily triggered. Your paragraph regarding the children and worrying about them coming to harm is probably something most of us parents have gone through at some time or all the time Some of that sounds more as if you slipped over from anxiety into panic. Remember too that anxiety attacks and panic attacks are the responses of our body usually brought on by stress.

Something that really has helped me for decades is learning the first signs of the anxiety getting the better of me. The sweaty palm, the change in breathing, the depersonalisation etc. They're just responses and they're not going to harm you even though it feels sometimes as if you're going to die. Those who've not experienced those fears can't ever really fathom why we get to that stage.

Having some serious past health issue is also something that can trigger us into thinking we're very sick or worse. That's something I deal with all the time and it's something that others don't always understand. Especially GPs who are constantly want to "fix" my brain chemistry with some SSRIs or SNRIs or whatever. One even commented that as well as helping my anxiety they'd help my neuropathy. Not going there but having said that I know someone really well who does take the Lexapro and it really saved her life basically. She doesn't do well on the generic so it must have fillers in it. Remember too that starting a med like that can change the way you feel and it might take a while to feel as if it's either helping or not.

Having very young children obviously would be full on for you and your wife. There's a whole heap of emotions involved due to everything being so hectic, noisy, busy, happy, sad, loud, dangerous etc. etc. and of course everything is changing constantly with 3 so very young. If you're a person who thrives on your own routine then it can be difficult indeed but we can adapt.

As well as the changes you've made with food and exercise etc. make sure you get some relaxation. Even if you incorporate it into the whole family way of life. That helps.

You certainly can't go through life feeling depressed and anxious although I know many of us do either due to life experiences or health reasons or brain chemistry.

I wonder if they did thyroid/parathryoid tests along the way. Especially with your Vit D being so low.

I love magnesium. It doesn't cure anything I deal with but I do know it helps me some when I need it.

I also want to let you know that we used to have some other forums here but they've transferred over to the My Support Forums
You may like to ask about the med situation over there too.

I hope you can get these fears about your health under control soon. You have so much to live for in a happy way and they need you.
Take care,
Lara