Hi, I'm new here. Actually I am pretty new to the whole Alzhiemers/Schizophenia/Dementia scene. I'm 49, trying to care for my mom who is 70 diagnosed with all the above.

She had previosly lived with my younger sister the past 12 years. Mom was always known to be "Eccentric" so we always looked at all the (now) tell tale signs as her personality. Long story short..my sister called to tell me she was looking for a bridge to drive off because she couldn't take her behavior anymore! I told her to just drive her down to me...1000 miles away, & she was here the next day with a bag of clothing & a bag of meds,,,LOTS of meds. This was Sept.

I thought I could handle it...I still think I can but only with help! I'm pretty much alone here. My husband is Military & will be deploying to Afghanistan for 15 months soon. I'm really hoping to find some answers & support here. So far every phone call or email to Senoir centers have been dead ends...I'm still totally alone, with many, MANY questions. I want to do the best I can for my mom & keep her out of NH's.

She is receiving SS, Medicare, & Silverscript. We already changed her address with all these places, got her a new Primary care, & have a source for her medication refills. What I need now is some in-home care once in awhile. Because of her "Change of address" her co-pays went from -0- to 15% which sounds ok, but have no $ to pay...She was denied extra help from SS? I need someone to tell me if putting her on my husbands military plan as a dependent would help or make things worse? Any idea?

I feel LOST! I'm struggling to stay strong, I'm a woman of Faith, I Pray, I'm an Organic Nut! I will do & try just about anything to help her....Your help & ideas are more than welcome. I thank you for taking your time to read this! I know reading emails are not so easy when you are a caregiver!

Many Thanks

Welcome, gardengrl!

I'm sorry you are having to shoulder the burden of caring for your dear mother alone. My Mom suffered from Alzheimer's and I understand your frustration. (I wasn't her Primary Caregiver, though).

Have you checked into Hospice? When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, or something they won't recover from, they can qualify for Hospice.

The Hospice nurses and CNA's can come as often or as infrequently as you like. They can bathe the person, dress wounds, check vitals, do light housekeeping, and tend for an hour. (Occasionally they can tend longer as special needs arise.)

Hospice will arrange for your mother's pain/comfort meds at no charge to you. Also, there is a chaplain and Hospice volunteers.

My father had cancer recently and I do not know what we'd have done without the services of Hopsice. They were only ever a phone call away to answer a question. I never had to feel like I was all alone in caring for Dad.

I'm glad you found this forum. There is a lot of good support and answers here. I hope you are able to get some help in caring for your dear Mom. Bless you for being such a good daughter!

Hello gardengrl !!!

Welcome !!!!

First of all, hugs for you

I can only suggest you to breathe, be patient and ask a nurse for help like Twink just suggested you.... They are experts helping and taking care of people like your mom

God bless.

Hi,

You and your sister are great daughters to care so much. It's commendable. With those 3 bad Dxs it can be challenging, at best.
How long has you mom been Dx'd?

Twelve years with your sister. I'm not sure it's reality to think you can provide the necessary care for 12 more. Those are progressively worsening conditions. Stages of deterioration.

You do need people to communicate with other carewatchers/givers who will know more than I do about being a carewatcher/giver. I personally had a dear aunt by marriage that came down with those. Not that we ever want to or are being mean, but sometimes there are safety issues for the patient and the caregiver and home that may make it a safer enviornment in a NH for mom's and dad's with these diagnoses. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's because it is a difficult labor of love to care for your mother with these diagnoses. It's hard being a newbie at something.

You, being one person and those conditions are 24/7, may not be able to provide every need. You do need help.

Here in the hills (KY) people can get RESPIT care, provided by the Department of Human Resources. You said she doesn't qualify. so sorry about that, but sometimes there's exceptions to "NO" because of medical needs, or at least other programs that she can tap into for resources, or maybe something you could qualify for as a caregiver. RESPIT care is a service that the state pays for if they're on state aid/SSI. DHR pays for a caregiver to take the patient for a weekend. Don't know how often. Very helpful for caregivers around here. And here in the hills, most people just don't take no for an answer on the first try.

My heart goes out to you and your mother.

Thanks for some great ideas, I never thought of HOSPICE! I than all that replied to me, & please excuse me for not writing to each of you...I'm not sure exactly which tabs to return emails or reply from. Never enough time to sit & read things through right now. But I will eep reading every chance I get! You are all so kewl here! Thanks so much.

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Great to see you have come to be with us. You will find a great number of caring, supporting members here willing to help each other as they can.

It is wnderful to hear of ones caring for their parents as you and your sister have been doing. I appaugh you for this. You might check in this link for some others to answer your questions. May God be with you.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum56.html

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene

Hi gardengrl, and welcome to NeuroTalk! This is a place with many good forums, and lots of friendly and helpful people.

I'm sorry about your mom. I admire you and your sister for what you have done and are doing for her. I can't imagine how hard it would be, and I hope you are able to find help soon. Know we are thinking of you, and please let us know how things are going.

Hello and Welcome to NeuroTalk. Well, I really have compassion for you and your Mother. We are going through something very similar w/my MIL (83) who suffers from advanced Alzheimers. Her care is indeed, 24 ~7.

We can't seem to find help w/her either and the family is taking turns keeping her. My DH has put his foot down and will not let me keep her, as I have my own health issues and I know I couldn't care for her. She also has breast cancer, so there's just alot going on.

I sure hope you can find some help, as it is just too much for one person to deal with.

Take care and I am really glad you found us.