[mafub]

MENOPAUSE JEWELRY
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big
red mark on his forehead!
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond!

[mafub]

Saturday, May 01, 2010
Classifieds
These classifieds actually ran in a Minneapolis newspaper –
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER .
8-years old. Hateful little *******. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES..
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog..able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby..

GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents/lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie .

And the best one?:

FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes..
Excellent condition.. $1,000 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married last month.
Husband knows everything