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#1 | |||
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Magnate
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A Policeman in his car is driving along a road at 50mph, when a chicken appears in his mirrors, closing at speed.
As it reaches the Cruiser it sticks it's wing out as an indicator and races past, accelerating all the time. Turning on lights and sirens, the Policeman gives chase. 70, 80, 100mph, the chicken is extending it's lead when suddenly it sticks it's wing out again, slows to 50mph and tears up a dirt track entrance to a farm with the Cop in hot pursuit. On reaching the farmyard he notices dozens of chickens pecking around - and they all have 4 legs. At this time, hearing the sirens, the farmer appears and the Cop approaches him. "Hey!" He says, "I just followed one of your chickens at over 100mph - and now I find they all have 4 legs. What's going on?" The farmer replies "Well, my family consists of myself, my wife, my daughter and my son and we all like a chicken leg for Sunday dinner. It would be a waste to cook 2 chickens, so I bred these 4 legged ones." "That's amazing!" Exclaims the Officer. "What do they taste like?" The farmer replies "I don't know, we've never been able to catch one." (I know RR even told a short version of this joke in the mid '80s, but I remember this version from before then - cracks me up, heck of a yolk!) Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | bluesfan (04-10-2015), Darlene (04-10-2015), Enna70 (04-10-2015), Kitt (04-10-2015), mrsD (04-10-2015), RSD ME (05-25-2016), Twinkletoes (06-15-2015), wishIdaKnownsooner (09-23-2015) |
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#2 | |||
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Magnate
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I finally saw a Psychiatrist today and told him - "Doctor, I think I'm a chicken."
"Hmmm! And how long have you felt like this?" He asked. I replied "Ever since I was an egg…" Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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#3 | ||
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Member
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Thanks for the giggles! Keep 'em coming please.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (04-10-2015), RSD ME (05-25-2016) |
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#4 | |||
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Magnate
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A chicken farmer rises one morning to find all of his chickens huddled outside at the far end of the Run, and banging, crashing and eerie crowing coming from the hen house.
As he slowly enters the coop he sees all the feed bowls and dozens of eggs floating around in the air. Several eggs fly at him, smashing into his head and back as he races out. Panicked, he searches for - and phones - a Paranormal Investigator, who arrives promptly the following morning. If anything, the racket is greater. The chickens are in great distress, flapping to get as far away from the crashing and crowing. The Investigator slowly peers round the door to be met with a cacophony of banging and a barrage of flying eggs in the face. He slams the door shut. "What's happening?" The shaken farmer cries. "Oh, it's obvious," replies the Investigator, wiping yolk from his face - "you have a Poultrygeist!" Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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#5 | |||
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Magnate
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What do you call a chicken staring at a bowl of lettuce, croutons and cheese?
Chicken sees a salad ![]() Blame my daughter for passing that one on. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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#6 | ||
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Senior Member
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i love the chicken sees a salad joke dave. can't wait to tell my family that one. thanks for sharing all your jokes. i needed the laugh today. hope you have an awesome day today.
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RSD ME . |
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