[Braindrain]

My new years resolution is never to make a promise that I don't intend
to keep...such as new years resolutions.

Valentine's Day has a place in everyone's heart.

On St. Patrick's Day, everybody is Irish.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
(Ans: Pilgrims).

Spring is the time when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love.
A woman's fancy turns to thoughts of shopping.

At Eastertime, you have to wonder how the Easter bunny gets into the
house: does he come down the chimney like Santa Claus, or does he
have a key to the front door?

The fourth of July is the only day of the year that you can see shooting
stars in every color of the rainbow.

If you don't work on a holiday, how come it's called Labor Day?

Halloween is the only day of the year that kids can look their worst...and
get away with it, too.

On Thanksgiving, the only one who isn't giving thanks is the turkey on
the table. Come to think of it, the turkey's the only one who's actually
"dressed" for the occasion.

Christmas is all about the joy of giving to others...and then you get the
bills that tell you just how much you enjoyed giving to others.

New Year's Eve is a time of reflecting on all of the resolutions you made
at the beginning of the year...and realizing that you haven't kept any
of them.

If you decide not to make any New Year's resolutions, is that considered
a New Year's resolution?