On the Lighter Side For jokes, humor, and other lighter topics.


advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-05-2008, 05:36 PM #1
Macophile's Avatar
Macophile Macophile is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 284
15 yr Member
Macophile Macophile is offline
Member
Macophile's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 284
15 yr Member
Default "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

>Offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an
>actual class assignment:
>
>The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
>new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person
>will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
>
>As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
>short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
>another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
>add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
>another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
>and so on back-and-forth.
>
>Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the
>story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
>e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The
>story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
>
>The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
>Rebecca and Gary.
>
>
>THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
>At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
>chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
>reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
>liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
>off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
>him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
>the question.
>
>
>(second paragraph by Gary)
>
>Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
>now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
>than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
>whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to
>Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
>orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
>sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
>hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
>flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
>one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
>had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
>pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
>"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
>Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
>excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
>youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
>newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
>innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
>lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
>of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
>its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
>the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had
>left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
>determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage
>of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
>enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop
>them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
>missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
>top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
>coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
>poor, stupid Laurie.
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>
>This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
>writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
>attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
>"Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
>F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who
>reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>As*h@le.
>
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>******!
>
>
>
>(Rebecca)
>
>
>
>F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
>
>
>
>(Gary)
>
>
>
>In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
>
>
>
>(TEACHER)
>
>
>
>A+ - I really liked this one.
Macophile is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
who moi (08-09-2008)

advertisement
Old 08-05-2008, 06:56 PM #2
lor's Avatar
lor lor is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,808
15 yr Member
lor lor is offline
Magnate
lor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,808
15 yr Member
Default

Before she said anything TO him I thought, he isn't even taking it seriously, he's having his own kind of 'fun'. At 1st I didn't know for sure but after awhile it seemed like he just wanted to use certain words to maybe see what she might 'be able to do to make a reasonable story'. I think of that story we are all 'writing' in the game room, about the princess. But the one about the princess is all silly fun.
lor is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
From Venus and Mars or "Can't we just get along?" Wing42 Peripheral Neuropathy 42 06-15-2007 05:48 PM
"Instant Karma" - the Voices of Apathy -"Coulter and Limbaugh" lou_lou Parkinson's Disease 0 11-02-2006 05:20 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:02 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.