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Recipe For Christmas Cake.

Ingrediants:

1 cup water,
1 tsp baking soda,
1 cup sugar
1tsp salt,
1 cup brown sugar,
squeeze of lemon juice,
4 large eggs,
1 cup almonds ground,
3 cups dried fruit &
1 Large bottle of vodka.

First of all
sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl
turn on the electric mixer,
mix 1 cup of butter add sugar & mix
check the vodka by drinking one cup.
turn off the mixxererr.
break the eggs onto the bowl
& throw in the dried fruit.
pick up the dried fruit off the floor
& check the vodka for quality.
Mix on the turner
if the frieddruit gets stuck to the beaterers
unstick it by using - then drinking a screwdriver.
Next mix in a cup of salt or something...Who gives a s--t
check the vodka
& check your nuts
add one table---- spoon of sugar
or whatever is handy
greaser the oven.
turn the cake tin 360deg. trying not to fall over
do not forget to beat off the turner.
Finally check the vodka - only 1 cup
throw the bowl out of the window
do not fall over the dog
& fall into bed
Cherry Mistmas everyone.