Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ..... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

In the South, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea," "sweet milk," and "light bread". Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. And "Light bread" is white bread.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, .... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!

Boy, am I southern! I could relate to every single one of those!

I'm not Southern, but my SIL has picked up a few of those sayings from living in Texas.

Still, I was stunned when I went to church in North Carolina and heard someone stand up and thank "All Y'all." I mean, everyone knows "y'all", but I'd never heard the plural!

Well, except my nephew. He moved to Texas and got invited to a gathering. He was standing right there when they said, "So we'll meet at y'alls house at 7:30."

Someone picked him up, then later found my nephew in the kitchen looking for the nice Y'all family to thank them for their hospitality! True story!

Can totally relate to all of those! All Y'all have a great day.

And you never order grits with a meal, they are just served.

Another in the comfort food section, collard greens cooked with smoked hog mawls, and cracklin' cornbread.

Sometimes people are just too weird for color TV.

Northerners and Southerners both have skeletons in their closets, but down here, we know them all by name and talk about them all the time.

Well slap my face and call me silly, had forgotten some of them there sayin's

Peace,
David

I am in Maryland, the very, very beginning of South and not real southern, but I've had my little heart blessed 2 times and called Miz Kicker (as a 1st name) 4-5 times. DH grows, makes, and loves collard greens, my neighbor wants to be a preacher and make grits for me. (Now, not when he's a preacher.)

And I'm jest over in the next holler, hollering, yessiree, bob, y'all keep tellin yer tales.

Actually, for most of us southerners, "Bess his/her heart" is pretty much like a verbal "get-out-of -jail-free" card. You can say whatever you want about whoever you want as long as you follow it with these words, as in "Poor ol' Johnny down the street was born dumb and has only gotten dumber since, bless his heart!"

I'll have to remember that!

I've got an IDEAL that you did. It was a real good IDEAL that you did, too.